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The Islander - Thursday 19th December 2002

News From St. Mary's:

PARISH CHURCH OF ST MARY THE VIRGIN.  ASCENSION ISLAND (Diocese of St. Helena) Rev. Brian Birchmore Church Warden: Mervyn Isaacs Church Warden: Cheryl Anthony

The Christmas street lights are on and our houses are beginning to take on that festive look too with carols and decorations and fairy lights …. The children from school have broken up and some Islanders, contractors and Forces personnel have already departed for home. There's a general feeling of excitement and anticipation in the air as we wait for the arrival ……. of what?

Is it the parties or the booze, family's visiting, going to Church or going home, or is it the boring tasks of duty or work? Some of us will be working, while the rest are playing; some will feel lonely, while others enjoy being surrounded by the love and care of families or friends; some will sun themselves on the beaches or "hash" over the rocks while others around the world are too weak to walk or too hungry to find anything good in life; others will be too consumed with themselves or some fanatical prejudice to even contemplate the idea of peace or joys that can be shared! It's a funny old world! But, maybe as we think about the arrival of the Baby of Bethlehem, we can remind ourselves that, whoever we are, whatever our circumstances, however full of joy or sadness, pain or suffering our lives might be ……. that Baby comes for us.

God is HERE in this child - He has come to be with us, one of us, to know our feelings and share our life. He is not tucked away, conveniently, "up above the bright blue sky", hidden away behind the clouds, but right here, alongside us sharing our celebrations or our pain, measuring our meagre attempts at love by the simplicity and ordinariness of His love that is for EVERYONE!

When that true Light shines on the world though, it does tend to show up the dust and the shadows. We should not forget that the Baby of Bethlehem grew up to be the Christ who turned the world "upside down" by that love that changed the perspectives of history and showed the way to a new beginning.

We here at The Vicarage and St Mary's wish you all a truly joyful and happy Christmas and may the Christ Child give you His Blessing in the Year to come.
Have a great time!

Fr Brian and Daphne, the Church Wardens and Council

LETTERS

Dear Editor,

We would like to take this opportunity to respond to a letter published in last week's Islander by a person who would not give their name but instead used the pseudonym the =liser.

As Justices of the Peace for the Ascension Island Magistrate's Court we are in a position to offer factual information as to how the court operates and how decisions are arrived at. We feel that had this person had any real concern over the justice system and not being simply out to stir up mischief they would have sought to gather more information before going to print. Normally we would not bother to give such people credibility by acknowledging their ignorance but in this case there are one or two points that we feel are important enough to warrant a reply.

1. Inference that the court is undemocratic - this almost borders on the libellous and is something we take great exception to. The JP's on this island now number 2 Saint Expats and 2 UK Expats, we have one Saint Expat lay advocate and one UK Expat lay advocate. A very fair and equitable mix we believe. Everyone in court has the right to be represented by a person of their choosing and a right to be heard. They also have a right to appeal to the Supreme Court if they wish. Everyone involved is very mindful of the great responsibility they have to provide the best possible judicial system for the island.
2. Comparison of cases of similar charges - this is a ridiculous thing to do as no two cases are the same. Although charges may be identical the circumstances surrounding the cases could be very different. In Drink Driving cases, for example, there are many things to take into account including, how much a person is over the limit, the traffic conditions at the time, damage to property, personal injury, previous offences etc. It would be a very unfair court indeed that doled out the same sentences whatever the circumstances.
3. Discretionary bans - are just that, discretionary. Because of the peculiar circumstances of Ascension Island where there is no public transport and a loss of job may mean a loss of housing and therefore real hardship to families, we do use this discretionary power more than the UK or St Helena courts. Whether the lay advocates request a discretionary ban or not, we always ask if a total ban would have an impact on a person's employment. We do not, however, grant this discretion if there is no real evidence to support the need for it.

If the =liser truly is worried or interested about the way the courts are run or how we reach a decision then we would suggest he/she contacts one of us and we would be delighted to explain the procedures, rules and sentencing guidelines by which we are bound. We are both in the telephone book so give us a call.

Regards,

Jean Peters JP and Caroline Yon JP

SAINTS CLUB KIDDIES XMAS PARTY

Taking St Helena Forward

Our Future is in our Hands

FIRST ASCENSION ISLAND SCOUT GROUP

St.Helena Scouts Visit for Christmas

The 1st Ascension Scouts are hosting a visit of 6 Scouts from the 1st Jamestown Troop for the next 3 weeks over christmas. We are welcoming, Jamie Essex, Jamie Ellick, Lee Marc Augusts, Jason George, Kneo Robinson and Shane Yon We have quite alot of things arranged for our visitors over a busy time on the Island and if you see us about, do come over and say hello.

The Met Office Weather Report

Statistics for the week ending Monday

	Max (deg C)	Min (deg C)	Rainfall (mm)
AIRHEAD	28.0	21.7	0.2
TRAVELLERS	27.5	19.5	1.3
RESIDENCY	23.1	17.0	3.6
GEORGETOWN	30.0	23.0	0.0
ST. HELENA	N/A	N/A	N/A
FALKLANDS	21.9	5.5	21.4
UK	12	-4	32.4 (in 24 hr)

ASCENSION ISLAND:It has been bright for most of the week with sunny spells. There have also been scattered light showers around throughout the week, the bulk of the rain falling around Green Mountain, and late on Saturday and on Sunday morning.

UK: Very cold and cloudy until Wednesday with strong E'ly winds, and a few outbreaks of light sleet in the south. Later on Thursday, milder air spread in from the south, bringing widespread low cloud and fog, followed by outbreaks of rain on Friday. On Saturday, further rain in the north, but becoming dry in the south, however, periods of heavy rain spread to southern parts Saturday night and spread north though Sunday, giving the wettest day of the week to Herstmonceaux with 32.4mm.

FALKLANDS: Mainly dry for much of the week with variable amounts of cloud and sunny intervals. A period of strong N'ly winds affected the islands on Wednesday, and again on Friday. Outbreaks of light rain spread in Friday night and early Saturday. On Sunday, periods of heavy rain fell, giving a total of 18.4mm that day.

“METCHAT” ************************ “METCHAT” ************************ “METCHAT” ************************“METCHAT”

Much of the week was a fairly quiet affair, with only Wednesday evening providing an alternative to the "usual suspects" usual shenanigans in the various bars around the island. This saw the massed ranks of Metties, plus a couple of the Snob hill mob, waiting outside the terminal building for the arrival, albeit for a short time, of Lord Crowle of Camborne. Alan duly slipped out for a quick beer with the chaps, catching up on all the island gossip in the process, before just as quickly and anonymously slipping back in again for the flight northwards. He asked us to pass on his felicitations to all whom he met here in his previous tours and looks forward to seeing you all again when he returns in January next year.

Monday evening at work was supposed to be a fairly quiet night. All was going well, that is until the power died at about 9-30 pm. Computers of course don't work well on batteries, these tending to only last for a few minutes before they run down. Due to a lack of light, Makem re-deployed into Operations, (at least Leanne had a kettle and was able to make hot drinks), and made some attempt to notify the UK of what had happened. Ops and Commcen had also suffered with the lack of power, but mostly due to the restoration of the supply, which saw fuses popping all over. Gordon and Al Mack turned up to assist in trying to get things running again, but Al nearly had to have a change of trousers when we attempted to get things in Met running again. A rather large bang, followed by the distinctive smell of electrical burning, had us both checking for fire and smoke, but none was to be found. Eventually, during the early hours of Tuesday, power was restored, thus allowing at least a semblance of a nights work to be completed.

The week culminated with the Sgts and Officers mess Christmas draw on Friday evening. The only missing "suspect" was Stan Vesta, who decided that a quiet night in watching videos was his best bet, so that left Makem, Boggy, Jonesey, Martin, Lyndon and Falling Phil to uphold the Snob Hill mobs reputation at these events. It was obvious from the start that it was going to be a notable evening as we entered the mess, Lyndon was to be see bent over a chair, apparently doing rude things, though it must be said that all he was doing was innocently inflating a blow up chair with a hand pump. After a rather splendid meal, for which our thanks go to Andy, Nev and Aidy the chefs plus of course not forgetting the mess staff for all their hard work, the drawing of the raffle tickets took place. Now, to those in attendance, it may have appeared to be a bit suspect that table "six" was at the front of the room, and that seated around it were six of the chaps from the Snob Hill mob. At this point all from that table would like to point out that it was the table that was lucky, not its occupants, all will be revealed. All of this may sound a little odd to those that could not attend, but as the draw progressed it became obvious that a rather large proportion of the prizes seemed to be being won by table six. (In fact it was only 33% of the prizes). To make matters worse, Sarah the Mover, was having no luck in her original seat, so deciding to ride the luck of "six" she came and joined us and of course immediately won, not just once, but twice. (Sarah then spent much of the evening in a loving embrace with Joneseys newly acquired "puppy"). The PMC, aka Boggy's dad, tried more than once to evict members of our small group, but only after we had won more than our fair share of the goodies. Poor Lyndon, who had given up his "lucky" seat to assist with the draw, was the only one of the original table that did not win a prize, proving the theory that it was the table, not the people, that was lucky . Just to prove it wasn't a fix after all, Fergus managed to stroll away with the star prize, a rather nifty digital camera.

All then retired to the bar for further drinks, some singing, idle chit chat (though as the music was fairly loud there was not a great deal of this) and what vaguely passed for dancing. Later in the evening we were joined by Joyce and the girls, Karen subsequently giving Makem regulation amounts of abuse, just for being there. It was after 3 am when Makem, that last of the "mob" to leave, took the long stroll up the hill, but at that stage the party was still going reasonably well. Our thanks go out to the PMC and the mess committee for an excellent evening, but especially to Chris, Lyndon and Josie for the "entertaining" draw.

Saturday saw a rather subdued Makem and Martin take a trip to Reflections for coffee, this being much needed by both of them. The hope was that it would make us feel a little worse for wear, but by lunchtime things were going rapidly downhill again. A very quiet afternoon followed, before Makem made his way into the office for his night shift. As this is the last time this year that Metchat will go into print, all of the Met Office staff would like to take the opportunity to wish all everyone a very merry Christmas and a healthy and prosperous New Year.

Makem.

STOP PRESS….latest odds from Ladbrokes on Ascension having a "White Christmas"……..absolutely none, "not a chance" said a spokesperson.

THE EXILES CLUB

CONGRATULATIONS! Thomas and David and all staff would like to thank most sincerely all the children who entered "The Exiles" Logo Competition. We were all very impressed with the high standard and the attention to detail and the imagination that went into the entries. We are very pleased to announce the Winners - every entry was a Winner - it was a hard decision to pick 1st /2nd /3rd. 1ST PRIZE KELLY LEO £50 2ND PRIZE LEROY K FOWLER £25 3RD PRIZE RYAN KNIPE £15 OTHER WINNING ENTRIES CHRISTIANE M ANTHONY CHARLOTTE BONES STEPHEN ANTHONY NIRELLA JEREMY BONES WELL DONE TO ALL

From The Archives…

Memoirs by 'a Sometime Resident' (circa 1870) - Part 4

Some of the scenery at the Mountain is beautiful, and for boldness cannot be surpassed. On the shoulder, facing northwards, is situated the Mountain Hospital, which affords accommodation for eight officers, six subordinate officers, and about twenty-six men. All the patients are generally convalescents, who, after undergoing a course of treatment in the Garrison Hospital, on their arrival from the coast, are sent up to this cooler region to recruit their shattered health by breathing the fresh invigorating mountain air. The Gardens, the Pass, and the Peak offer inducements for exercise such as the Garrison cannot present, to those who are seeking to recover their strength after a severe attack of sickness. The Mountain Hospital is very substantially built, in the midst of grounds laid out most tastefully. It is surrounded with shrubs and large quantities of the aloe plant, which, at certain seasons of the year, are very green, and make this the most attractive part of the island. Those who die here, or at the Mountain properly so called, are buried in a piece of consecrated ground known as Monkey Rock Cemetery, from the supposed resemblance the front of the rock bears to the face of a monkey.

At the base of the Mountain, facing north-west and south, are what are called respectively Dampier's Springs, Middleton's Springs, and Palmer's Springs. At the two last the cattle from the Mountain are watered. Dampier's Spring is supposed to be the place where Dampier first discovered water on the island; but, when we remember that he beached his vessel on the south coast of the island, and that between him and this spot lay the Green Mountain, which of course he would require to pass, we are inclined to the opinion that the place where water was first found was at Palmer's Springs, as this would lie almost directly in his course when making his way to the Green Mountain.

Instead of retracing our steps when leaving the Mountain, we turn to our left at the foot of the Ramps - a zigzag road - and proceed to Wideawake Fair. This is a comparatively level piece of ground, surrounded on all sides by hills, with a few wretched shrubs - such as the castor-oil plant and the Madagascar rose - scattered about. Myriads of a peculiar kind of bird congregate here three times in two years. When they are away from the island no one knows where they go, as they have been seen in no other spot. They are a species of sea-swallow, somewhat smaller, than the magpie. They are of a uniform colour - white breast, throat, and belly; black head, back and legs (web-footed); wings, black and white. These birds come to the island to lay their eggs and rear their young. Each female bird lays one egg in the sand, and this she guards and watches with the most jealous care, fighting for it even to the death. As we approach the Fair, the noise from the screaming of the birds is so great that it is difficult to hear each other speak. The birds are very tame, and fly around us so close that, in self-defence, we are compelled to knock down the poor helpless things with our sticks, often injuring them, sorely against our will It is permitted to all the residents of the island, and to all the sailors of merchant ships of any nation lying in the anchorage, to go out to the Fair as often as they wish, and bring in any quantity of eggs, which are excellent for making omelettes and for using in the manufacture of puddings and cakes. A few dozen of birds are occasionally killed to be stuffed, and sold amongst other curiosities of the island. Their breasts and wings make pretty ornaments for ladies' and children's hats. There are the most stringent orders against firing a gun or any other firearm in the Fair, lest the birds should be frightened, and transfer their residence to some other place.

How the name "the Fair" originated is not known. It is said that a number of passengers landed on one occasion from a ship, well supplied with money, fully determined to make extensive purchases at the Fair, having been persuaded by their more experienced fellow-travelers that they could buy at the place whatever their fancy chose. On their arrival they could see no booths, or other signs of what are generally the concomitants of an English fair. So they returned, their stock of money undiminished, but their tempers considerably sharper than when they set out.

We have now surveyed the island, and our reflections turn naturally on its advantages and disadvantages. Its advantages were great when it was the headquarters of the West African Squadron. It was easily reached from any part of the coast, so that when sickness of an infectious nature broke out in a ship, all she had to do was to make her way to Ascension, which being virtually a ship, could, at a moment's notice be turned into a large hospital. Here, too, an available staff of medical men was kept, so that when the surgeon of any of the ships fell sick or died, all that was necessary was to come to Ascension and supply the vacancy. The island used to be a convenient calling-place for homeward-bound ships from India and China, because, when they rounded the Cape without visiting Cape Town, they came up with this island more easily than St. Helena. Here they could get provisions much cheaper; though, when they required water, the quantity that could be supplied was very limited indeed. Formerly, merchant ships were allowed to call here without expense; but now they have to pay harbour dues, at the rate of three-halfpence per ton of their measurement. For whatever provisions they require they have to pay double the Government price, together with twenty percent in addition, to defray the expense of freightage. This change was brought about in deference to the wishes of the St. Helena merchants, who greatly complained that, so long as merchant ships could be supplied with stores here at Government charges, and had no harbour dues to pay, they would not visit their island. Again, the expense of sending out stores was enormous, as ships charged very heavy freightage for Ascension, because there was no chance of bringing home a cargo from it; they had always to go elsewhere - either to the West Indies, to South America, to the West Coast, or to St. Helena -and often they sought for a freight for months in vain. Another disadvantage was the great expense of keeping up the establishment. It is calculated that it cost £25,000 a year. Every one on the island - man, woman, and child - was maintained at the Government charge; so that many who were content with the necessaries of life were able to save all their pay, and put it by till their return to England. Officers, Petty Officers, non-commissioned officers and their families were brought to the Island regardless of expense by transports if one presented itself at the time, or otherwise by mail steamers; not many years ago all passengers travelling by mail boat had to go as far as Cape Town and there transferred to a vessel that dropped them at their Island Home.

All this has now changed. The Cape of Good Hope has been made the Headquarters for both the Cape and West African Squadrons so that the necessity that formerly existed for keeping up a large establishment had ceased and it has now been materially reduced. Officers who now wish to have their families with them can gratify their desire by paying their passages there and back and paying also their subsistence whilst resident on the Island. At present there is no more than a third of the population that resided on it some three years ago.

End. ** Museum Opening Hours: 1100 - 1300 hrs every Saturday**
www.heritage.org.ac

Exclusive Interview with Santa Claus

In an amazing stroke of luck the Ariane Team managed to get a exclusive interview with probably the worlds busiest man (at this time of year)....
the one and only Santa Claus.

Islander: Firstly thank you Santa for granting us five minutes of your time, in what must be the busiest time of year for you. S.C.: Ho Ho Ho, my pleasure Ed, as you have been a good boy this year then well I thought it would be alright. Islander: What with only a week or so to go until the big day, you must be getting quite nervous? S.C.: Ho Ho Ho, no not really, if you have been doing the job for as long as I have then you know when to start getting the reindeer ready and when to pack all the presents into the sleigh. Islander: So this was a trial run for the reindeer, then? S.C.: Yes, I was giving the boys (reindeer) a time trial, the Atlantic crossing is quite long, and we were doing well so I decided to give the boys a pit stop and they just love to munch on the "Mexican Thorn". Islander: So any surprises in store for some people this year Santa? S.C.: Well, it would be unprofessional of me to say who exactly but lets just say that I am quite partial to the glass of whiskey that the children leave for me on Xmas Eve, but with the tax on alcohol here......well need I say more, Mr Henshaw!!!!!!!!! Islander: Oh right so it will be back to Milk and Mince pies then? S.C.: Yes, but it repeats on me, not what you need when your working non stop Xmas Eve.

Islander: So Santa, after delivering all the presents to all who have been good, how do you relax and celebrate Xmas? S.C.: Well, its about 6am when I return, and every year Mary has had a huge fry-up waiting for me, bacon, eggs, fried bread, mushrooms etc, but this year, as you can see the suits a bit snug, so muesli is on the menu. After that it's a quick nap till lunchtime and then the Turkey & Stuffing. Then I have to plan for next year. Islander: Well Santa, on behalf of everyone, thank you for doing a marvellous job and keep up the good work. S.C.: It's been my pleasure, and remember that you all have to be good all year round, including you Councillor Caroline Yon, selling Venison, Rudolph is not happy!!!

Hash Trash

Hash number: 931

Hares: Frank'n'Furter

Hounds: Yeti, Titpecker, Budweiser Belly, Pirate, Chicken Hawk, The Major, Psycho Pig, Bloodsucker, Mr Bubbles, Baywatch Babe, Batman, Bart Simpson Wilson,, Hardcore Heidi, Skipper, Morticia, Uncle Fester, Eeyore, Woodswrecker, Mandy, The Fugitive, Stud Muffin, Billy Graham, Range Rat, 100 Watt, Puff Grannie.

The briefing was short and sweet. There would be thorn bushes, loose rocks, thorn bushes, loose rocks and thorn bushes. Not mentioned in the briefing, but there was going to be a botany lesson. For some, the revelations and realisations of the previous night a slow amble downhill was in order, for the less imbibing 'Friday Nighters' it was a race to see who could get into the thorn bushes first.

So it began, thorns, loose rocks, thorns and loose rocks. A trail was lost for a while and when eventually found it was through the thorn bushes, down some loose rock to a circle. On-on over the loose rocks to the side of the Riding School, the bar check showed us the route was left and on-on over the loose rocks, up the sides of gullies, down the sides of gullies, along gullies, up gullies. Another circle check in the bottom of a gulley and then it was on-on to the botany lesson and a smoke break for some. Was this the indigenous spurge? There were far too many thorn bushes for so many people to hang around in, so all followed the Hash trail back to the venue.

For most people Friday night was now out of their system and it was time to start again. There was still some unfinished business to perform, the circle of friendship was drawn and welcomed into Hashdom were Bloodsucker (who had escaped nameless for five weeks) and Range Rat. The mini Hashers taking particular delight in the dousing. Good Hash F n F.

Next Hash venue: The junction of the NASA Road and the track to the Pines
Hares: 100 Watt & The Major.

Golf News - From One Boat Golf Club

On Sunday 15th , 14 Teams took part in our Christmas Novelty game which, also was held to say farewell to Brian Legg and his family who shall be leaving us on the 17th December for St Helena. Farewell and good luck.

The 2 ball pool was shared between 2 teams. Myrtle Whitaker, Kathy Stevens and Fred Bennett who recorded 2 2s and Choppers Benjamin, Marty Joshua and David Beard were the other 2 ball winners.

The Gents longest drive went to Ian Thomas, Lady's longest drive went to Marieanne leo. Nearest to the pin for the Gents, Nicky John, and the Lady's nearest to the pin goes to a new member Kim Wyer.

There were some good scores carded on Sunday, however, 3 teams were on 50 points in first place. On a count back in 3rd place were Brian Henry, Marieanne Leo and Norman Thomas, 2nd place were Jimmy & Joyce Bennett and (Paddy the dog) and our Winners were Darren Bedwell, Robert Bedwell and Andre Henry. Well done to all.

I would like to take this opportunity by saying thank you to George Thomas, Julie Yon, Prudy Peters and Sharon Thomas for giving up some of there time to put on a wonderful Sunday lunch. Thank you all kindly.

OB.CAPT
MC

www.the-islander.org.ac

EDITORS : Ed Jones, Andy Roberts & Jon Black
The New Islander Office, Fort Hayes, Georgetown, Ascension Island.
Tel/Fax 00 + 247 6327

E-Mail: editors@the-islander.org.ac

Internet Team: Alan George, Rob Dunstant, Laura & Mark Handley, Richard White and Gavin Yon

Deadline for all contributions is 6.00pm on Monday

All articles © copyright 2000 The Islander Newspaper. All rights reserved.

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