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The Islander - Thursday 24th October 2002


 

NOMINATIONS FOR
ISLAND COUNCIL

The first General Election on Ascension Island will take place on
Friday 1st November 2002.

Twelve people have been duly nominated for the Island Council, contesting the seven
seats. They nominations are (in alphabetical order):

SURNAME FORENAMES ADDRESS  
ANDREWS
FRANCIS
HENRY
HENRY
HENRY
HOBSON
JOSHUA
MILLER
SMITH
SUKHTANKAR
THOMAS
YON
Eric Nicholas
Larry R
Lawson Arthur
Harold Hugh
Iva Ingrid
Nicholas John
John Frederick
Keith Henry
Glyn
Raxa
Peter James
Caroline Jean
Bungalow C1
Bungalow 223
Bungalow 3
Bungalow 30B
Bungalow 3
Bungalow 7
Bungalow 57
Coconut Block 4
Basha 11A
Bungalow B31
Bungalow E2
Bungalow 49
Two Boats
Georgetown
Georgetown
Georgetown
Georgetown
Georgetown
Georgetown
Two Boats
Travellers
Two Boats
Two Boats
Georgetown

C E Harris-Cranfield
Returning Officer
Administrator's Office, Georgetown, Ascension Island
19 October 2002

 



From the Editor:- Marie & Sherilyn Anthony

Hello All

We're back again in the Editors chair, but much relieved to see the return of Richard.

The Island Council Elections is excitingly approaching and as ever the 'Islander' will keep you updated. However, do remember to VOTE, your vote counts!

We would like to say that are pleas for help at the 'Islander' is slowly bringing some interested people forward.

Lots to read in this Edition, hope you enjoy it.

Happy Reading……..

 

 

 

Letters to the Editor can be sent to
editors@the-islander.org.ac

"Why I am standing for Council" - Johnny Hobson.

I have thought long and hard before deciding to accept nomination to stand for the new Ascension Island Council.

I have lived on the island since 1986 and feel I have a grasp of many of the issues that the future will bring to the island. Most of all, I care a lot about what happens here on the island and to it`s community.

I have my own ideas on many matters, however, I am conscious that there are other opinions on the island on such matters and would make a point of seeking as many of these as possible, aiming as best as possible to represent them. I don`t have all the answers - don`t even know all the questions, but am willing to listen and learn from as many opinions as possible.

I think it equally important that a Councillor should be easily approachable for people who may want their help with problems etc.
Over the years here at work, in the community, on committees and most recently as a Lay Advocate speaking for people in court, I feel I have helped in this role. I`d like to think I`m a fairly easy person to talk to and seek any help and advice from that I may be able to give.

I have expanded below on a few of the things that I feel will be important to the immediate future of the island.

Education

It`s often said that the future of any community lies with it`s youth and Ascension is no different in this aspect. I feel strongly that the education opportunities for our school children should receive the maximum investment possible. We need to address the issue of further education opportunities for the school children from 16 onwards.
There will be over 20 young people leaving our school in the next 2 years alone, many of whom have the ability to gain further skills and qualification which may well be a benefit not just to themselves, but also to the Island community should they decide to settle here.
Such a programme should be properly funded and not rely, as it does currently, on charity or "one off" payments.

Finance

After some heated debate and much lobbying, the option for the new Island Council to have responsibility for financial matters was "won over". This is a very important opportunity and one which musn`t be wasted. There are undoubtedly people who think that it is unwise for the council to have such power. We certainly don`t want to see anyone able to say "I told you so". This is why, I feel it vital, that enough councillors should have experience in financial matters to make this very important responsibility of the new local government a success. I have had considerable experience and insight in the operating of some of the Island budgets and currently working for AIG, have a knowledge of the overall budget as well as that of the Dental Department. It is important to know how to debate finance issues with officials.

Home Ownership

The government intends to allow "residency" or permanent right of abode on the island. This is all very well, however, without the opportunity to buy your own house, it really doesn`t mean much. I would like to see as many folk, only if they wish, to have the opportunity of buying their own house on the island. This could be achieved various ways,

a) By the companies selling off the existing housing stock to current residents, should they wish to buy. The purchase price being suitably attractive as an incentive to allow as many folk as possible the opportunity to buy.

b) The sell-off and subsequent conversion of buildings such as Bates and Evans, the existing Administrator`s office after the move to the Islander Hostel, Ocean View Club, Mountain Cottages.

c) The immediate building of new housing for sale and rent on plots already designated. I have already been looking at a South African company who provide good quality prefabricated houses at very attractive prices. Their website is www.coldcor.co.za for anyone interested in finding out more.
Funding for these units could be found from the sell off of existing housing and redundant buildings.

The Farm, Red Lion and Mountain amenities.

Anyone who has visited the old farm area recently will have seen the sorry state it is in. Although a farm producing vegetables and meat etc would be great to see again, realistically I doubt whether this is possible without considerable investment. AIS lost £45,000 in it`s last year operating the farm and both tenancy experiments failed to work with the high operating costs one of the major problems.
Rather I would like to see, at least in the short term, The Red Lion in use as a Hostel for the School, youth groups, community etc. It is ideally situated and a good size to suit this purpose whereby groups of school children etc could spend "field trips" away, much as they do elsewhere in the world. This would prevent the present building falling further into disuse but yet still allow it to be available for further development at a latter date should this be desirable.
The home farm area would then be converted into an amenity public park. It would be levelled and lawned with picnic tables, swings etc put in place.
The existing Red Lion Cottage could be given over to a husband and wife team employed to look after the park (mow lawn etc), run the hostel, keep the Tunnel clean and clear at each end and possibly keep The Dew Pond and Elliot`s paths clear.
The top terraces would still be available for limited market gardening.
The other cottages could be either sold off or leased.

Conservation, Sports Fishing and External Commercial Fishing Licences.

At long last Ascension has a Conservation department that is looking out for the best interests of the Island. There is much to be done in working out strategies for conserving the many varied landscapes, flora, fauna, marine life etc that we should be treasuring. These issues will all need to be addressed as hopefully other employment opportunities become available whether they be military, telecommunications, tourism and leisure or whatever. I feel it is really important that Ascension continues to have it`s own independent conservation officer(s) who are looking out for it`s best interests. It has become clear that Ascension is potentially one of the last best sports fishing grounds in the world. This will need to be guarded jealously and protected from over fishing. Likewise, the issue of external commercial and sports fishing licence revenues will need to be addressed in the light of Ascension funding itself.

Small Businesses, a Bakery!, and Fresh Fruit & Vegetables.

These are issues that I suspect many people would like to see movement on sooner rather than later. I feel that the Government should have a responsibility to help with the start up costs of setting up small businesses, such as a bakery. In some cases it would be unrealistic to expect individuals to fund all these costs themselves and expect to recover their investment in a reasonable time. Rather encouragement should be given, such as with a bakery, to go into partnership whereby the premises and major equipment is funded by Government.
Only this way, I suspect we`ll all get "our daily bread" and at the same time encourage more local enterprise.
Although the provision of fresh fruit and vegetables should be the responsibility of the shop management, I think that the local government should at least help with exploring avenues whereby this can be brought to the Island more regularly for all it`s residents.

The Two Islands.

I don`t admit obviously to knowing as much about St. Helena as others, although I have spent 2 holidays there, the last for 6 weeks during 1998, however, I do agree that on common issues the two islands should work together. I do feel, however, that a strong healthy Ascension Island will in turn be good for St. Helena and this will be best achieved with the two islands working as equal partners on common issues.

Tourism

I feel this has the potential to create significant employment on the island. If and hopefully when, the airhead opens up to commercial air traffic in the not too distant future, it will be important that the island has some strategy in mind as to how tourism may develop.
I don`t think anyone wants to see our island turned into another "Ibiza" type resort, however, with proper planning and regulation, we have the potential to develop many aspects of the island such as Retail and Catering and Leisure facilities.
I feel we have a golden opportunity through making the island ready for tourism, to "clean-up" whole areas of the island that have been left littered with the debris of past projects - fuel tanks, aerial masts etc.

This new first new Council is going to be really important in helping set out much of how things may be in here in the future. Should I be successful in being elected to it, I would strive to bring the enthusiasm and effort that I think I`ve shown in other aspects of my life here on the island. I admit that I wouldn`t always be able to get things done, but it wouldn`t be for the lack of trying. Please, if you think you`d be happy for me to be a councillor, make your opinion count and vote on the day.

N.J.H.


Apathy

The British Government and especially the Governor of Ascension now know that the residents of Ascension are indeed serious about self-government and the introduction of true democratic processes. That signal was clear leading up to the creation of the Island Council Ordinance. The refusal to accept and accommodate the offer, from appointed officials, of just fringe control in the running of our affairs within a democratic system on Ascension inspires confidence in the future. Crucial now to the unfolding process, is the formation of a reliable and effective Island Council functioning primarily on commitment and vision, and each one of us on the Island eligible to vote, is responsible for its creation.
Each voter has a duty to take an interest in this journey, and help chart the direction we take by ensuring that the right people are elected to best represent and serve all the people of Ascension.

Shelco/Arup conducted an impressive presentation of their proposals for St Helena at the public meeting on Wednesday night. Shelco's " three- legged stool" proposal-Airport, Airline and Hotel/villas/cottages/golf course -is hugely attractive. As a potential major inward investor, Shelco's plans are skillfully designed to maximize their business interests to generate and secure returns. The combined package also seems set to benefit St Helena's economy, create much needed employment, discourage St Helenians from leaving home and improve access. Naturally, some St Helenians without hesitation or question will accept the appealing proposals.
Taking into account that some "60% of St Helena is rock and barren", minds should seriously focus on one "leg" in particular (the villas/cottages/ golf course) and the valuable prime land it could well occupy at Broad Bottom. Apparently, at around £6000 per acre for some of the very best land in St Helena, Shelco has the option of buying 450 acres "tomorrow"if they decided to do so; and they hope some of the property could eventually be sold internationally on the open market. How would it all really impact future generations of St Helenians? Although the vast majority of St Helenians are industrious, there is hardly ever prime land for our people to purchase. Understandably, the much needed air access and associated development will have negative and positive consequences for our island and people. To help ensure that the final decisions are genuinely in the long-term interests of St Helenians, we may want to reconsider these important issues and openly make our views known; DFID and the St Helena Government have fortunately provided the window of opportunity by suspending talks with Shelco.
There will be a fresh start: Innovative proposals for Air Access for St Helena will be invited from the worldwide developing industry. Shelco remains interested and will submit their proposals.
To help stimulate public discussion and debate, please can I extend an invitation for Shelco to respond/challenge this article through the Islander.

C Leo


Voting

I can remember back to the first time I paid attention to elections. The election was between a peanut farmer from my state and a vice president turned president. The peanut farmer won, but that's another story.
What's important is the political process that I witnessed. For the first time I knew every vote counts. Ever since then I've voted no matter where I was, no matter the forum. Local, state or national, I vote in them all so I can make sure my vote counts. I am a strong supporter of the voting process. I try to encourage others to get involved, to read and find out the details of what is at stake so they can make informed decisions. Not all candidates have your best interest at heart but it is up to you to find out for yourself.
The island of Ascension is transitioning at this very moment right before your eyes and some of you have a chance to make history because you will be a part of something that has never happened here before. Please take advantage of the opportunity. If you don't think voting matters just look back in history. There are several examples for all to see.
Please vote!

Major Fason


1st ASCENSION GIRL GUIDES

GUIDES & SATURDAY CLUB CAMP

 

Last Friday 18th - Sunday 20th October the 1st Ascension Guides and Saturday Club went on a joint weekend camp at the Garden Cottage. On arrival the Guides pitched their tents on the lawn whilst the Saturday Club chose their bunk beds. Once the tents were positioned, Kirsty, Dayna, Teri, Vetannie and Stacey went down to the Monkey Rock Cemetery to pitch their tent - yes, that was their bed room for the night!!!!

The tent was pitched in through the gate just at the foot of the graves. Although the girls looked and sounded brave I kept wondering how long will it take for them to knock on Mr. Kettlewell's door for a bed for the night!!! I was scared stiff myself and kept telling to hurry with the tent as it was getting dark - I have not been in a cemetery 8 p.m. in the evening before and this felt weird and with Halloween nearing all scary visions kept creeping into mind.

Back at the Cottage the others were eating their supper of chicken pilau under the supervision of Bessie, Linda, David and Robert. That evening wide games were played and for once when the lights were put out at 22:00 hours the boys and girls settled down and were asleep without dashing about up to 3 a.m. like previous times. Shaun A who slept in the bedroom with Robert because no bunk beds were left had Robert on the ball switching the light on 3 times as Shaun thought he heard a mosquito, then a moth and finally a fly!!! Eventually he settled down. I on the other hand had no worries sleeping in the tent with Suzanne.

The next morning I went to collect the girls at the cemetery only to find the tent was moved more to the bottom fence and was in shape of a lopsided triangle and not a dome shape!!! Apparently, when they reached the entrance the night before no tent was where they left it. Spooky thoughts and hair on end they managed to locate it - UP THE TREE!! They did not had enough stakes for all the loops and decided to put rocks on it but it was not strong enough!!! In the DEAD of night they had to re-pitch the tent. On the ride back to camp all I heard were how 'cool' it was to be brave enough to camp in there with the dead!!! They were awaken early morning by the cockerel crowing up in the mountain, I thought I was hearing things too when I heard it but it definitely was the master at work doing his early morning call. After all these years I thought he had died but perhaps it's his son. Our wake up call at the cottage was the huge sheep outside our tent baaing away!! It's a shame we can not catch sheep anymore because that would have been out mutton curry lunch for the day!!!

The same 5 Guides took on the task of organising activities for the other children. This is something they need to achieve for their Look Wider Certificate. They had some doing plastiroc models and others doing models out of different size pipe cleaners. The next activity was a scavenge hunt. They did really well to entertain 20 children. The cubs who are in the Saturday Club also went off with Lenny to talk to Cubs all over the world over the Ham Radio. Two o'clock we all went off to Dew Pond and what a lovely muddy time we all had. The best time we have ever been there to return with mud covering ourselves. Well, we did had a hint of how muddy and wet it was when Paddy returned with Johnny H from there!
Our evening was rather wet but we managed to have a sing-along inside until 22:30 hrs.
Sunday, the rain drizzled almost half the day but once it stopped and the sun shone the tents were dismantled, cheese burgers and peaches and jelly were served then a cricket match and football match were played before cleaning and leaving the cottage at 16:30 hours. A great time was had by all. What a lovely way to begin their holidays now they have a week to chill out before school starts.

Here's to next one...................!!!!

Cheryl

 

PARISH CHURCH OF ST MARY THE VIRGIN. 
ASCENSION ISLAND (Diocese of St. Helena)

Rev. Brian Birchmore
Lay Minister: Jane Randells
Church Warden: Mervyn Isaac
Church Warden: Cheryl Anthony

This is the day that the Lord has made We will be rejoice and be glad in it!!

This was the acclamation we shared together at the Harvest Family Eucharist yesterday and it echoes the enormous thanks that I want to express to everyone who came. The 'Rainbows' appeared for the first time and presented their flag at the altar together with the Guides with the Union Flag and their own banner.

We were overwhelmed by the "goodies" that were brought as gifts to go to The Haven at Jamestown when the boat comes in - the altar was surrounded by them!

At long last, this year's confirmees were also presented with their Bibles signed by the Bishop of St Helena - a gift to help them remember the promises they made on that occasion.

The singing with 'George's' help, was great and it seemed that we were all intent on celebrating LIFE - which is what Harvest time is about. The gospel reading was of Jesus telling his friends not to get too hung up on what they look like, or what they wear, or what they eat; after all, the birds and flowers around us are lovely - much more splendid than King Soloman in all his magnificence - but, says Jesus, you are much, much more valuable than these. You have a special worth that has been given you by God. So live as if you are precious and valuable and be responsible for your life and the life of your Community.

Rejoice over what you have and what you are.......

That acclamation was used again at the Grotto Service on Sunday evening too; perhaps we should all use it each day as a reminder of just how great is the life we have been given.

Have a good week!

Brian Birchmore

The Lessons for next Sunday are:

Isaiah 25 1-9, Philippians 4 1-9 and St Matthew 22 1-14



The Met Office Weather Report

Statistics for the week ending Monday

 
Max (deg C)
Min (deg C)
Rainfall (mm)
AIRHEAD
27.3
 
20.3
 
1.1
 
TRAVELLERS
25.6
 
18.0
 
6.5
 
RESIDENCY
24.3
 
16.5
 
18.3
 
GEORGETOWN
29.0
 
21.5
 
0.3
 
ST. HELENA
21.4
 
15.0
 
2.6
 
FALKLANDS
16.1
 
-0.8
 
0.3
 

 

ASCENSION ISLAND: A fairly unsettled week with a fair amount of cloud and a good number of showers around. There was however some sunshine too, mainly during the afternoons.

UK: A quite unsettled week was had, with low pressure dominating the picture during the early part of the week, before a weak ridge of high pressure established itself during Thursday. However the remnants of ex-Hurricane Kyle had moved into the Southwest approaches by Sunday Highest temperature of the week was 17 Celsius at Jersey on Tuesday, with the coldest being at Carnwath in Lancashire on Sunday night when the temperature fell to minus 9 Celsius. Wettest day was at Lowestoft (Suffolk) when over 2.5 inches of rain fell Wednesday.

FALKLANDS:The unsettled scenarios found in the UK and Asi where matched by those in the far South Atlantic. After a fairly mild start to the week when temperatures reached 15C, colder conditions returned from Wednesday, with temperatures struggling to just above 4 Celsius during Saturday having fallen to minus 1 Celsius overnight. It was however a largely dry week with very little rainfall being measured.

“METCHAT” ************************ “METCHAT” ************************ “METCHAT” ************************“METCHAT”

 

METCHAT

It's been an interesting week, at least for some of the Metties, though also quite sad in some respects. The weather has of course been up to it's usual tricks this week, with far too much cloud around and little in the way of decent sunshine, except that is for Sunday afternoon. Al Mack (commcen) has a theory about the poor weather here, it's all to do with who is forecasting. He reckons that when Makem is on day shift, the weather is fine, but that it always rains when Chris is on duty…….Don't know if we can use this as a forecasting tool yet?
Sunday saw Ascension's second mid-summer day of the year, the first (and next) having been on or around the 20th February. Did you know that as long as you are between the tropics of Cancer and Capricorn (as Ascension is), you will get two days per year when the sun is directly overhead at the local midday (mid-summer).

On the Social side, most of the Snob Hill Mob turned out on Wednesday afternoon to celebrate Sarah's final days on the island. After eleven months of worrying about the PSD, she finally let her hair down with her friends and colleagues during her dining out dinner. Much wine and beer was consumed, along with an excellent meal, which included a Korean version of Chocolate Profritterolls. This involved wrapping a napkin around your forhead oriental style and devouring your desert without the use of any eating irons or hands. There are several pictures now in circulation of the mess that accompanied the dessert, not least some of them showing chocolate sauce smeared around the mouths and faces of those who partook. All of this was of course accompanied by tales of Sarah's derring do during her stay on the island, plus some comments about her diving skills and the hours she (didn't)spend sunbathing. What still puzzles all of us is how can you spend eleven months here and still leave as white as when you arrive. Falling Phil was unfortunate enough to be captured on film, as well as video, falling (thus his handle in this column). The unfortunate chap tried to tie up his shoelaces, but his foot slipped from the chair arm, sending him and said chair crashing to the floor. Fortunately (or unfortunately for Phil) the Postie had the video facility running on his new camera, capturing the event in all it's gory details, and Makem was also able to take advantage of the aftermath with some stills. A fairly quiet evening was had by all, particularly Stan, who having been at work, returned to find that all of the usual suspects had all turned in for a very early night.

Thursday morning saw Stan, Makem and the Ayatollah Susan take a trip to the golf course, primarily to introduce Susan to the joys of the game. Although she got off to a rather nervous and quite hit and miss start, by the end of the session she was managing to hit the ball first time on most occasions. Susan now understands why I refer to the game as "Swish *!%$ it". Afterwards we retired to Two Boats club for a cold drink or two before heading back to Snob Hill. The evening saw all of the Usual Suspects gather in the VC for a final farewell to Sarah, and to say hello to her replacement Amanda, who henceforth in this column will be known as Tinny. (With a surname to match a well known and much loved popular South African brand of beer what else do you expect). Also accompanying us where Ian (PSD) and his wife, plus Mandy (PSD too), who seemed to manage to upset the Postie without trying too hard. Makem didn't help the occasion by trying his best to embarrass our Forces Postmaster, but at least Sarah got a good send off. A few quick gin and Tonics in the mess bar followed to round off the evening.

Friday was a fairly slow day all round, Makem and Susan making the trip to the great Metropolis to get in some supplies. Things livened up during the evening though with the Octoberfest in the Mess. Accompanying the Snob Hill Mob for the evening where Bill, Don, Bob and Joe, the air traffic controllers from CSR. Postie played the perfect barman, once the combined intellect of the group had fathomed out how to open the kegs of beer, keeping the flow of beer going strong until very late in the evening. All there managed to stuff themselves with various Germanic delicacies, from Bratties, to Haslet and of course not forgetting the Black Forest Gateau. Postie again surpassed himself in proving his love for all things chocolatey by devouring numerous pieces of said chocolate cake. However it was also noticed by most in attendance that Jane Randells was being force fed the same dessert not just by Terry, but also by Babs Goddard. Pete and Jane Dunne (note Pete the "E") didn't let the night pass without some ritual mickey taking though, Makem again taking the brunt of the Batman quips.
Postie once again played the hero by taxi-ing several of us home at the end of the evening.

Saturday was a fairly quiet day all round, with several sore heads, though Makem was up early as he was working. Falling Phill brought in his very unwell laptop for some TLC, or should that read TKK. (Totally Knackered Keyboard). The ayatollah Susan met up with the Postie, during the latter stages of the morning, at reflections for coffee, Postie maintaining his love of cakes, though this time it was of the fishy variety. They both then visited Makem at work, forcing him into making them copious amounts of coffee. The evening saw the usual suspects gather in the mess for a few quiet beers.

Sunday saw Postie take several people, including Metman Neil, off for one of his weekly bimbles, this time taking in Letterbox, (this being his 9th visit.). Makem had a really quiet day at work, in fact his only visitors being Brian (commcen) and Susan who again insisted on being fed coffee. The evening saw the usual suspects visit the VC for tea, before retiring to the mess for a few further gins.

Monday morning saw Makem and Susan at the airhead, meeting up with an old colleague who was flying South for the winter. It could be easily misconstrued that Metmen are quite like Geese, in that several of us do fly south during the late summer months to avoid the wintry conditions to be had in the UK, though it must be said that some of us do it more often than others. The morning was rounded of by a flying visit to Turtle-shell beach and coffee at reflections.

Makem


"A MOST GENEROUS GIFT"

By Shelley Magellan
(Extract from St Helena Herald)

"A generous gift" has been presented to the Haven. The community of Ascension Island has generously donated a gift of 10 wheelchairs to the residents.
The idea of obtaining the wheelchairs was initiated by Mr Cyril Leo after Mrs Rose Thomas, Matron of the Haven highlighted the deficit of wheelchairs at the Haven. When Cyril returned to Ascension he brought this to the attention of the people there through the local newspaper The Islander. Cyril told St Helena Herald, "There was an immediate positive response to help improve the situation, and thanks to the wealth of musical talents on Ascension and the generosity of the community £2387 was raised."

On Tuesday a presentation was held at the Haven. Present were Mr Sidney Youde JP, Mrs Ivy Ellick, Chief Administrative Health & Social Services Officer, Mrs Cathy Hopkins, Chairman of Public Health Committee, Mrs Maureen Coutts, Senior Nursing Officer, Mrs Rose Thomas, Matron of the Haven, Mrs Patsy Youde Assistant warden and clients of the Haven.

Mr Youde began by saying how privileged he was to present the wheelchairs, he mentioned all the hard work that Cyril and many others on Ascension had contributed towards making the day possible.
Mrs Ivy Ellick and Mrs Hopkins then said a few words, they thanked everyone for attending and sent a heartfelt thank you to all those who were involved in contributing towards the wheelchairs. They went on to say "it's wonderful to see others thinking about the less fortunate" and that "the chairs would certainly prove to be a tremendous help, as it will certainly make the lives of the staff and clients at the Haven much easier, and rest assure they will be well used".

Mr Cyril Leo wishes to thank "Rose for giving us the opportunity to experience so much enjoyment in the process; Mr Chris Armstrong for free shipment of the wheelchairs to St Helena; Mrs Ivy Ellick for organising the presentation, and Mr Sidney Youde, who spent many years on Ascension, for presenting the gifts on behalf of the people of Ascension."



HASH TRASH

Hash # 923 19th October 02

Hash Hares: Elmer Fudd and Fido

Hash Hounds: Grim Reaper, Fluffy Bunnykins, Rug Rat, Rusty Head, Billy Graham, Skipper, Chicken Hawk, Buzz Light Year, Twin Peaks, The Major, Baywatch Babe, Mr Bubbles, Batman, Bart Simpson, Gilligan, Barry Tone, Hardcore Heidi, Goat, Miss Trunchbull, 100 Watt, Yeti, Budweiser Belly, Pirate, Scooter, Oh that Woman, Spikey, Liz, Debbie, Matt, Fr Brian, Mrs Birchmore

A rather large pack, gathered in the Merlin Mess Car Park, for this weeks punishment. Elmer Fudd, gave a brief talk about the route to come - minus Fido who happened to be working.
The Newbees were enlightened on the traits of hashing and the on, on was given, down the road, over the cattle grid. With the first circle placed near the 'bend' it didn't take very long for the hashers to work out where the route was going. Whilst the knitting circle caught up, the kiddie hashers, decided to dust everybody down a bit by testing the breaking power of their shoes in a nice pile of soft red dirt! The on, on was given up the hill to the first bar check. 100 watt, Goat and Yeti, all scampered off in different directions to find the correct trail. On, on was given as down, through a rocky path, lined with vicious cactus bushes to the second circle. Hardcore Heidi, decided to abandon the hashers at this point, mumbling something about a stomach ache. Billy Graham was also seen going in the same direction, only to come back a few minutes later to say that the Knitting Circle was also going back - not sure why Barry Tone decided to take up knitting as well. The on, on was given through more cactus and more rocks, with the pack now finding themselves, at the next circle, under a large hill, with the bottom bashas of Travellers in full view. Chicken Hawk tried to practice his flying, but misjudged ground level, grazed his leg and needed to be carried on The Majors shoulders. At this point the pack was divided, the runners taking the route up over the hill and the walkers taking the route around the hill to the next circle. Buzz and Chicken Hawk decided they would be joining the runners, but after a few shouts, they headed back down and joined the walkers. At the walkers circle, almost adjacent to the One Boat Dump, the runners could be seen, trudging up and up, and oh yes we just know what was coming next for them……they had to come down. The walkers watched as the runners, made a slow walk, slide, skid, down the hill. Skipper could be seen, taking some of the skin of his behind. Not wanting to watch this rather painful descend, the walkers decided to go on and find the next part of the route, which took them to an arrow, facing the road - which could only mean one thing - we were on our way home - just a few miles up the road. Twin Peaks was firing bullets at this stage. Barry Tone, feeling sorry for the younger hashers, drove down the road and gave them all a lift back. Surely he got something wrong there - they are the bunch with the most energy! A rather winded bunch gathered on the Patio of the Merlin Mess to enjoy the drinks and great food. The circle of friendship was drawn and the pack welcomed Alex as Spikey and Kim as Oh that Woman (something to do with a comment made earlier by Buzz).

Next week's HASH:

Hares: The Major and Skipper
Comfortless Cove

Rug Rat - Hash Scribe




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