The Islander Newspaper, Ascension Island - Thursday 10th October 2002

This was the acclamation we shared together at the Harvest Family Eucharist yesterday and it echoes the enormous thanks that I want to express to everyone who came. The 'Rainbows' appeared for the first time and presented their flag at the altar together with the Guides with the Union Flag and their own banner.

We were overwhelmed by the "goodies" that were brought as gifts to go to The Haven at Jamestown when the boat comes in - the altar was surrounded by them!

At long last, this year's confirmees were also presented with their Bibles signed by the Bishop of St Helena - a gift to help them remember the promises they made on that occasion.

The singing with 'George's' help, was great and it seemed that we were all intent on celebrating LIFE - which is what Harvest time is about. The gospel reading was of Jesus telling his friends not to get too hung up on what they look like, or what they wear, or what they eat; after all, the birds and flowers around us are lovely - much more splendid than King Soloman in all his magnificence - but, says Jesus, you are much, much more valuable than these. You have a special worth that has been given you by God. So live as if you are precious and valuable and be responsible for your life and the life of your Community.

That acclamation was used again at the Grotto Service on Sunday evening too; perhaps we should all use it each day as a reminder of just how great is the life we have been given.

1ST ASCENSION GUIDES' TRIP 2002 - PART SEVEN

Today the 14th Aug the girls are soooo excited that they are off to Drayton Manor Theme Park.

We arrived at 10:15 after an hour-and-a-half drive. Approaching the area in the distance all the high rides could be seen much to the delight of the girls. All the while they were sleeping but they did came awake on hearing what could be seen. We queued for our tickets only to be told after 15 minutes of waiting that we were at the wrong car park. We had to drive off to the opposite direction to the car park for groups. A further wait of 45 minutes before Fiona could get her serve.

Eventually tagged with blue a strip around our wrists for identifications we made our way through the gates and to the rides. As usual Carly, Dayna, Teri & Vetannie were off on their own heading towards the roller coaster. The others could not decide what to go on first, but tried a mild one to begin with - the Mexican Hats. Once they had swivelled we all wondered off towards the burger bar. With stomachs filled to capacity we made our way to the zoo. Here we were in stitches with the antics of the monkeys. They were really showing off - picking tics out their mum's body and when they had finished she turned around and stuck her bottom up in front of my video camera much to the delight of others!!! Red faced I wondered into the snake aquarium. Seeing a snake so close for the first time and looking like an eel brought to mind the meal of fry eel and sweet potato back on Ascension!!!

The day was ever so hot that anything cold would just do the trick. Looking us straight in the face a few yards away were gigantic ice creams for sale at only £2.40. Betty, Bessie & Myself rushed towards the stall to buy ours. Roberta & Natasha did thought to do the same but decided against it and bought something smaller.

Once all the Guides found one another they went on the Storm Force 10. Thinking it would be 'a piece of cake' at the time they had no idea what the ending would be like. Down they came on the water chute and with some crying for fright and others screaming - there was Vetannie crying not for fright but because her hair got soaked and it became curly again after spending £10 at the hairdresser's the day before to colour and straightened it. This was really hilarious!!

Betty, Bessie and myself chose to go on the chairlift so I could video the entire ground below. This was great fun - and Betty did it in style as she talked on her mobile the whole of the ride when her niece rang.

Nirella and Carly tried one of the newest rides called the Maestron. This is a wheel that swings to and fro high into the air. All you can see from the ground are legs and hear screams. Penny, Nirella, Mashay, Dayna, Teri, Vetannie & Carly went on the Apocalypse the tallest of the rides. Here their photo were taken as they came thundering down. You can just imagine the expressions on their faces. Shock Wave (roller coaster) was experienced by Kirsty, Mashay, Nirella. Dayna,Teri & Carly, while seated in the shade we could actually hear our girls screaming above the others. How embarrassing!! The Sky Rider was next with Nirella, Teri, Penny, Vetannie & Carly. The girls checked out the Haunted House but came out with their hair looking normal and said it was not scary at all!! The Dodgem Cars was driven too and I bet some cars still has the dents left in them. Poor Roberta only tried the Mexican Hat ride. Both her and Natasha did not attempt any rides as they felt 'sea sick' just watching the others.

We can never leave a place without the girls trying out a new restaurant. With hands filled with French fries, gigantic ice creams and glasses of slush puppies we made our way to the bus and was on our way to Kinver once more. Again they all fell asleep before we reached our home!!

Thursday 15th Aug. The day of departure has dawned upon us. Up bright and early today to shower, pack the rucksacks, clean the chalet and then we were off to Merryhill Shopping Centre. The girls only had 4 hours to do their shopping, in which, if anyone knows a Saint, we all needed 4 days or weeks!! The girls were not too happy when the time came to leave the centre as they did not have enough time to shop for items they so much wanted. All the same, they did visited the shops that are seen advertised in the books and can now say they bought something from there or just walked in through the door.

Back in the bus we were short of someone - Vetannie was missing. We had to be in the bus by 14:30 but Vetannie got lost and came out scared stiff at 14:50, thinking she would not find us!! Back at the chalet we packed our shopping away, got dressed and were on our way to Brize Norton.

Yeeeess! Homeward Bound at last!! After 3 weeks of none stop movement we were ready to board the Tristar. It took us 3 hours to reach Brize. After which time our bottoms were numb!! Tara Sim & Danielle Anthony met us there, while Patrick, June & Daryl sat in the lounge to wait on us. What a lovely reunion once again for us. No-one wanted to take their rucksacks to be weighed thinking they were overweight. Thank God - we were well under. With those out of the way our family and the rest of us got on the coach and rode to Gateway House. Here we were made comfortable in the dining room with cups of tea and whatever you wanted to eat.

An hour later after saying farewell to everyone we made our way through to the departure lounge in the Terminal. At 11:59 the announcement to move on out to the Tristar was heard. Once seated the plane departed at 00:30 hours. We just could not believe that, 'we had been there, done that and on our way home'. Our plane journey was brilliant and those snakes were very comfortable. With three weeks of early rising we all slept almost the entire 8 hour flight.

It was so lovely to land and see our families at the Airhead waiting. I guess they were wondering if everyone had come back!!! We very proudly wore our Unity Camp 2002 T-shirt, neckerchief and name tag. We were complimented on how smart we all looked.

Our International Camp and Trip 2002 has now ended. I do hope you all enjoyed reading about us. We wanted to let you all read how thoroughly we enjoyed ourselves, seeing new things and meeting new friends. If the £11,000.00 had not been raised we would still be dreaming about it. With the help of all who generously gave donations and help in any way - that dream came true.

Many, thanks once again, everyone. We may be hosting the Falkland Island Guides next Easter - watch this space!!!! No, we will not be made to fundraise!!

Cheryl
Guide Leader

Island Rumblings

“METCHAT” ************************ “METCHAT” ************************ “METCHAT” ************************ “METCHAT” *************************

After a fairly quiet start to the week, things livened up for the Makem and the Metties from Wednesday morning, with the arrival of Makem's better half from the UK and Doug's replacement McNick, visiting this island once again for an extended holiday. The both arrived fit and well, but rather tired, from the long trip down.

Stan Vesta took The Ayatollah Susan (As she who must be obeyed, is known) on a whistle stop tour of the island during the afternoon, showing her the varied attractions of the island and the metropolis that is Georgetown. She was suitably under-whelmed by the shopping facilities, (but then having two of Europe's largest indoor shopping centres within twenty miles of home means any shopping facility has a lot to compete with), but no doubt will get used to then anyway, as she doesn't have any other option. Wednesday evening saw Stan Vesta, Makem and the Ayatollah venture down to the VC for tea, then it was off to a quite busy mess, for a few beers with Martin, Nigel, Doug and McNick. It emerged during the evening that McNick had arrived towel-less, so after much frantic phone activity and scrabbling around in the laundry, a drying implement was found and delivered to a rather sweaty Metman.

Thursday saw Makem and the Ayatollah make a quick tour of the bits of the island that Stan hadn't got around to on Wednesday, this included trips to E Bay, Comfortless Cove and the Nasa Site, along with a trip to reflections for coffee. Most of the morning's conversation went something like "oh this is such and such, with Susan's reply being "Yes! I know, Stan told me yesterday". I must say that it is nice to be able to once again sit in Reflections and while away a couple of hours of a morning supping coffee and watching the world amble by.

Postie and our own Chris made a speed attempt on Spires Beach during Friday afternoon, the pair making the descent in around one and a half hours. They excelled themselves on the ascent however, completing it in a little over 50 minutes, with Postie assuring us that Chris was absolutely knackered by the end of the walk. Stan Vesta, Martin, Jonesey and the Ayatollah Susan attended the quiz night in the Mess Bar on Friday evening, their team finishing the evening in an admirable third place. (216 again taking the honours on the evening). Fortunately for Susan, she will not be here in November (of course that is assuming the Tristar is not delayed!!!) to compete in the Dew Pond run sans 'bare bum', having lost a bet with Stan over the picture round. I think Susan thought she would be totally safe in making the bet as she should be at home by that point, but who knows, planes have been delayed for a few days before. Watch this space…….

Saturday saw Makem making preparations for Sarah and Doug's leaving Barbecue at the Met Basha's. Sarah and Susan contributed the floral displays, with Makem in charge of setting up the lighting. Makem's brain was obviously not functioning at full capacity, as he could not understand why the balloons we had tied up kept bursting. Susan, who's scientific knowledge is not that extensive, explained that the sun was the cause and that full balloons placed in the sun continue to expand and subsequently burst..…..Surely a trained met man should be aware of things like this?….A good turnout by the Snob Hill Mob and various invited Guests, including Tony (captain of the floating barbecue palace), Sarah H(visiting to ensure all the health and safety aspects of the barbie were adhered too), the Quiet Assassin, Ken (MT Control) and Ali Mac (comcen), ensured a decent send off for both of them. Sarah, Postie and Martin took copious quantities of photographic evidence (to be published at a later date) and to Sarah's surprise, she discovery that her new digital camera can record video and audio clips (evidently these caused some embarrassment the following morning when she replayed them). The party was still in full swing as we went into the early hours of Sunday morning, Martin and Woolley being last to leave just after 3 am.

Sunday saw a late and rather subdued start for the Makem, who was rudely awoken by another failed French phone-call. It makes you wonder how much these incompetent dialler's spend on failed calls to Ascension, when they really want a Paris number. So if the guilty parties are reading this, dial more carefully. Makem completed the clear up operation by lunchtime, then spent an afternoon hammocking on the basha with a cold beer. The evening saw a trip to the VC for Stan, Susan, Jonesey and Makem for a meal, where we also met up with Chris, Postie and Sarah. Sarah admitted to having felt a little shabby on Sunday morning and had failed to make it to the dive she was supposed to be doing. The food took rather a long time to appear, though Stan was obviously privileged as his took only minutes to arrive, the others having had to wait nearly an hour for their grub. Makem, while waiting for his order to appear, made comment to Moira, (one of the girls who look after the guys on Snob Hill) that as her ticket number was some way down the queue, she may want to phone the office and tell them that she would be late for work on Monday morning. This of course led to her company falling about the table in hysterics, raising some disgruntled eyebrows in the café. Afterwards a quick visit to the Mess saw the usual suspects gathered once again for a few beers, before Makem, Susan and Stan called it a night and left really early (Yes! Makem and Stan leave a bar before 10-30 pm…...).

Jonesey made comment earlier on Sunday evening about his typing skills, and this is a good candidate for "comment of the week". He likened his personal talent on the subject to "being akin to a three year old chimp with learning difficulties"…..(How many D's and B's are there in Potato, Dave!). Another potential "comment of the week" was made on Friday evening at dinner, when Jo (movers) stated that due to her lack of height "she would have to slide right under the table to be able to surprise someone (with a kick)". This had Makem, Jonesey and several others in stitches, with Jo going a suitably crimson colour. Sorry Jo but as you are now into your final few days on the island, comments like that deserve to be published.

Hash Trash

Hash number:No 920
Hares: Skipper & The Major
Hounds: Mama 3 Bones, Billy Graham, Mr. Bubbles, Batman, Bart Simpson, Pirate, Chicken Hawk, Budweiser Belly (aka BB), Barry Tone, Baywatch Babe, Phil, Kim, 100 Watt, (Apologies to the person whose name I don't know).

The hash assembled at CSO One Boat, waiting for this weeks physical endurance, Skipper was late but the distant tones of an air horn told us that he was on his way. Good job too, he had the beer. Talking of beer, BB had the stuff coming out of every pore in his head, and announced that he didn't think that he was going to enjoy this weeks hash.
A quick explanation of the guidelines of hashing, and a clue that there would be great views, the pack was off. Pity that the gusting wind had scattered the hash all over the golf course, so the hounds generally followed the hares up to the first circle check. On On and the mini hashers told us the way. Bar checks and a couple more circle checks brought
Lady Hill ever closer and of course those spectacular views, and then it happened onwards and upwards. Comments like 'Why are we doing this' 'Do you call this fun' were soon forgotten as the views of One Boat Dump and all the tees of the Golf Course were revealed. The previous comments were replaced by 'This was why we came here' !!!!
From now on the fun began, at the top of a gully the race to the bottom started. From out of the dust came the pack, filthy. A good wash down with a garden hose would not have gone amiss. At the collimation pole the On On was given and at last the home arrow found. A remarkable turn of speed by the thirsty FRB's found them washing down the dust first. Which, as the evening went on, became washing down the dust with enthusiasm.
The more serious side of Hash life had to begin, the circle of friendship was drawn and another Sorry Soul was accepted into Hashdom, welcome Budweiser Belly. The welcoming ceremony was particularly enjoyed by the mini-hashers. If BB had been on fire those mini-hashers would have put out the flames. All good things must come to an end and eventually all went home to stand under the garden hose.

Next Hash venue: Butt Crater
Hare: Mr. Bubbles

Hash number: 921

Hash Hares: The Major and Mr Bubbles.

Start Point: The BBC Hut opposite the Range.

Hash Hounds: Skipper, Elmer Fudd, Lazy Boy, Puff Grannie, Barry Tone, Hardcore Heidi, Goat, Miss Trunchbull, Limp Sausage, Twin Peaks, Billy Graham, 100 Watt, Rug Rat, Rusty Head, Yeti, ISO Man, Vampirella, Bug Boy, Life Preserver, Batman, Bart Simpson, Baywatch Babe, Budweiser Belly, Pirate, Chicken Hawk, Woodswrecker, Scooter, Raey, Rob, Aden, Liz, Nicole, Debbie, Alex.

The hounds gathered, the Newbees welcomed, the fire lit and the on on sounded. A short bound to a circle and another to a bar check, Twin Peaks headed out into the undergrowth to come up with a false trail, as 100 watt found the route for the rest to follow the shining light. A circle and a false on on from the Major left the hounds spread across the ground tussling with the thorn. A circle and a back arrow and then another bar check, Goat leading several enthusiasts the wrong way before an on on to another circle. 200 yards and another giant size circle check, allegedly one already in place from a previous sojourn, or possibly the weight of the hash bag and the distance to home not matching. On On again sounded by the Major this time in the correct direction and some evil aloe to negotiate, Chicken Hawk took a spectacular tumble rose undaunted as we all continue until a circle check by the road. The party gathered and a few concerned looks were exchanged, the next stage lead further away from the beer and the food. A few yards later and another back arrow unusually, brought general relief. Now it was time for the party to split with the Knitting Circle heading up the road for home and the FRB's into the wilderness. The pack reassembled at the start and the nibbles and refreshing beverages were consumed with glee. The Major convened the circle of friendship and welcomed a sorry sole into our midst on good advice from a close associate, Goat was welcomed to the pack, I'm sure revenge will be sweet next time round.

Hash Scribe: Hardcore Heidi.

Next Week: 100 Watt and Budweiser Belly
from the Generator Building on the NASA Road.

Last weekend 19 Golfers took part in October's Medal play. 5 Golfers holed out a 2; namely Fiona, Norman, Dover, Patrick and Whitie.

There were a few outstanding scores handed in, but not good enough to compare with these names that are about to be mentioned…Our Runner-up was Darren Bedwell who shot an outstanding nett 67. Our Winner was Errol Lawrence who shot an excellent nett 63. Congratulations to Errol & Darren who are first time winners in the Medal play.

The 2002 Ascension Open starts this Month, Qualifying Rounds on 20th & 27th October. The Flights will be played on Sunday morning 3rd November and the 1st Championship Round in the afternoon. Final Championship Round on Saturday 9th November.

Lets have a good turnout for this event. Sign up by noon on Sat 12th Oct. See you all there!

EDITORS : Marie & Sherilyn Anthony
The New Islander Office, Fort Hayes, Georgetown, Ascension Island.
Tel/Fax 00 + 247 6327

E-Mail: editors@the-islander.org.ac

Internet Team: Laura Handley, Gavin Yon, Richard Crowie, Richard White

Deadline for all contributions is 6.00pm on Monday

Early Birdy Catchy Wormy... You have to be up and about early to get the best rumblings these days. Two Little Birdies don't believe in lying in and missing the juciest bits of news. This week we have a massive scoop regarding the rats on the island, along with a few other tasty morcels of gossip. Enjoy...	Removal of Rats from Ascension Islanders will be pleased to know that an Island Steering Committee was recently set up to investigate the destruction of the Island's rat population. Tenders were sought from several agencies/individuals with experience in the field. Below is a list of those approached, with notes on experience and the thoughts of the steering committee where appropriate. Two Little Birdies are pleased to be able to bring this information to the attention of islanders... Mr P Piper: CV: Successfully and humanely removed thousands of rats from the town of Hamlyn. However, contractual disputes resulted in Mr Piper exceeding his brief and impounding the town's children as a bargaining tool (much to the relief of Hamlyn's Saturday shoppers). Comments: Whilst the success of Mr Piper's methods cannot be disputed, the ongoing contractual/legal problems are a significant stumbling block. Sir B Geldof: CV: Successful leader of 70/80's Irish Punk band 'Boomtown Rats'. Comments: Strong contender by virtue of the fact that there has been neither sight nor sound of any of the other 'rats' for nigh on 20 years. An initial response from Sir Geldof: 'I am keen for this contract, and feel that I will get on with the Ascension Island Government like a house on fire. I have a tried and tested solution, it's a rat trap. I intend to work every day of the week except Mondays, since I don't like Mondays'. MB Games: CV: Extremely successful, humorous, and humane 'Mousetrap' could be adapted to similarly trap rats. Comments: Whilst this group is considered a strong contender, some members feel that the solution is somewhat over-engineered, especially considering the difficulty in obtaining parts. The little ball that rolls down the crooked staircase is always going missing. Mr James Herbert, Horror Author: CV: Early career established after writing about the population explosion of a violent and hardy strain of rats; and the authorities' eventual extermination of the vermin. Comments: Wouldn't get out of bed for less than a £1.5 million advance. Anyway, the whole 'mutant animal horror' genre has been dead in the water for a decade. Don't call him, he'll call us. Top Cat: CV: Streetwise alley-cat, with a dependable gang of buddies. Comments: Whilst the bane of Officer Dibble's life, not a single rat was ever seen on TC's territory. Sworn enemy of rats. Prepared to sort out the mice at no extra charge. Two Little Birdies will of course update you if there are any further developments...
These Boots are Made for Walking A Georgetown source has learnt that the Ascension Island Walks book is in the process of being updated. Better directions for walkers and possible inclusion of photographs are reported to be in the pipeline. Sounds good to us.
A Close Shave for the Boys It seems Jo Tribble (DAMO) had a different agenda from others at a recent meeting of RAF and Serco staff. Jo, who will have just left the island when this hits the streets, was very interested in the legs of the male attendees at the meeting. Seems she was checking out if any of the guys shaved their legs! Much giggling followed! As if the guys in shorts didn't have enough to worry about, what with spindly legs and knobbly knees! Thanks for that Jo, and all the best stateside
Little Green Men No, not from Mars, but from the Emerald Isle. The NAAFI was the location where an apparently heated debate on Leprechaun dress sense took place last week. Stef insisted that yellow hats were de rigueur, whereas Spike (an authority it seems) pointed out that the little wood-elves would be laughed out of the fairy-ring if they wore anything but green. Those listening to the discussion were staggered at the passion in both Stef's and Spike's arguments. Makes you wonder what else these guys believe in... Green cows on Green Mountain perhaps?
Two Little Birdies are extremely pleased to see that Reflections has re-opened. We will now have another place where we can sit and watch the world, and you, go by. More fishcakes for us please... Mmmmmm!
So, another week of rumbling comes to a close. Seems that wherever you go, and whoever you are with, the gossip and news always gets back to us... Let the Rumbling continue... Two Little Birdies

	Max (deg C)	Min (deg C)	Rainfall (mm)
AIRHEAD	27.9	19.8	1.2
TRAVELLERS	27.0	18.0	7.1
GEORGETOWN	28.5	21.0	0.1
RESIDENCY	25.1	15.8	21.1
ST. HELENA	18.9	13.8	11.0
FALKLANDS	12.2	-1.0	6.3

The Islander - Thursday 10th October 2002

The Ascension Island General Election

Father Brian Writes:

GIRL GUIDES' CAMP

SHELCO PUBLIC MEETING

Island Rumblings

The Met Office Weather Report

Hash Trash

Hash Trash