The
Ascension Island
Newspaper

Internet Edition

Index Page

About The Islander

Ascension Island Links

Ascension Island Visitors Book

Live Web Cam

The Islander - Thursday 06th December 2001

BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT

Congratulations to Angela and Derek Coleman on the birth of their second son

Owain Anthony Rhys

Born on Wednesday 28th November (10 days late) at 12:55pm
and weighing in at 7lbs 1oz

Father Keith Writes:

Advent.
Advent means "coming" At our morning service last Sunday we lit the first candle on our Advent Wreath.
On each of the three Sundays between now and Christmas we shall light another one, and then, on Christmas day, the fifth candle, tall and white and strong will be lit. This is to signify our belief in the coming of God in Christ to dwell among us 2000 years ago in Bethlehem.
The candles are symbolic. As we light them each week we make the prayer that "Christ will come" During this time of preparation we think about the sins of the world, and our own sinful ways, and pray for "the light of Christ" to come into our hearts and minds.
We invite you to join in this preparation.

To find time in all the busyness of buying presents and wrapping them, of writing cards and sending them, all the fun of the parties and so on to give yourself a little time for quiet, a little time for prayer. One of the prayers we shall use as we light our Advent Candles is this:

Jesus, Saviour of the world, come to us in your mercy:
we look to you to save and help us.
By your cross and your life laid down you set your people free:
we look to you to save and help us.
When they were ready to perish you saved your disciples:
we look to you to come to our help.
In the greatness of your mercy loose us from our chains:
forgive the sins of all your people.
Make yourself known as our mighty saviour and deliverer:
Save and help us that we might praise you.
Come now, and dwell with us Lord Christ Jesus

Hear our prayer, and be with us always. May he hear your prayer, and dwell in your heart as you prepare to celebrate his coming at Christmas.

St MARY'S CHURCH- WHAT OF THE FUTURE?

Someone said to me the other day "So you are not being replaced!"
Well, not immediately. Finding a new "Vicar" will take time. We originally intended to leave in May, and gave three months notice in February. Bishop John visited the Island and met with the Church Council in March. When it became obvious that the process would take time we offered to stay "to see the Island through Christmas". We leave on January 4th 2002.

In the meantime Bishop John has placed the matter with the United Society for the Propagation of the Gospel, a missionary Society based in London that has had links with the Diocese for many years. The "search" is in their hands.

When we leave the Churchwardens will take a weekly service of Morning Prayer. They will also officiate at any Memorial Services that are necessary.

The Royal Air Force will send Chaplains down from time to time to minister to RAF personnel, and have kindly offered to take Holy Communion Services when a Chaplain is on Island.

The island has a very unusual history as far as Vicars are concerned; there was one period of over 60 years between full-time priests on Ascension. But the church survived, and people here coped.

I am sure it will be so in the future. But let us hope and pray that you don't have to wait quite that long for my 'replacement'

LETTERS

CHRISTMAS MESSAGES

Broken Tooth Firing Range
We have had to close the whole Range to the public at short notice. I am sorry about this but it is driven by concerns for public safety. The Range will remain closed until further notice. Red flags will fly on the boundary and the access road has been closed. There is no access to Broken Tooth Letterbox for the time being.

Income Tax and Customs Ordinances
The final drafts are now available from employers, the Public Library and this Office. Any comments must be made to Matt Young on 6575 or e-mail adviser.administrator@atlantis.co.ac by noon on Friday 7 December. I would draw particular attention to Part ll of the Income Tax draft relating to Taxable and Chargeable Income and the information contained in Schedules l (Income from Employment) and ll (Allowances). Schedule lll also contains information about gratuities. .

The Met Office Weather Report

Statistics for the week ending Monday 03rd December 2001

	Max (deg C)	Min (deg C)	Rainfall (mm)
AIRHEAD	29.0	22.0	TR
TRAVELLERS	26.4	21.0	1.9
RESIDENCY	24.6	17.0	3.9
GEORGETOWN	29.0	23.0	0.0
ST. HELENA	21.6	15.6	3.2
FALKLANDS	19.5	0.8	2.0
BRIZE NORTON

ASCENSION SEA SWELL FORECAST: Northwest 1 Metre for a time Tuesday then becoming Southwest to South still around 1 metre.

ASCENSION ISLAND: It has been a fairly cloudy week, along with a scattering of showers, though the sun did manage to show its face on most days, particularly on Saturday.

UK: The south saw some mild days with maximum temperatures around 13 Celsius though Hawarden (Flintshire and Colwyn Bay) seeing 17 Celsius on Friday 30th November. Generally Scotland saw much colder daytime temperatures, lowest day max 3 Celsius at Loch Glascarnoch (Highland) on Tuesday 27th and also at Eskdalemuir (Dumfries and Galloway) on Sunday 2nd December. Chilly nights too with frost reported north and south of the border. Coldest night at Bournemouth Airport in Dorset which recorded minus 4 Celsius in the early hours of Tuesday 27th. Rain fell on most days the wettest place for the week was Capel Curig (Gwynedd) which received 1.9 inches on Thursday 29th. Some good spells of sunshine in between the periods of rain sunniest places for the week was Bournemouth AirporC England affected by fog with visibilities less than 100 metres in places.

FALKLANDS: A good deal of dry weather through the week the total of 2.0 mm was spread over only two days, Monday 26 Nov and Sunday 2 Dec with 1.4 mm and 0.6 mm respectively. Generally daytime maximum temperatures were between 11 and 16 degrees but reached 18.1 Celsius on Tuesday 27th and 19.5 Celsius on Friday 30th. No Air frosts were reported, coldest night on Saturday into Sunday 2 Dec with minimum valu 0.8 Celsius. Ground frost recorded on Thursday 29th Minus 2.0 Celsius and on Sunday 2nd Dec Minus 1.1 Celsius.

“METCHAT” ************************ “METCHAT” ************************ “METCHAT” ************************“METCHAT”

Monday was a very quiet day all round, all the metties staying out of the bar for a night, though at least Makem's excuse was that he was working. Fifer described the evening as "I stayed in with a book and a cup of Ovaltine".

Tuesday morning saw Makem getting football abuse off "Chris the Medic" over breakfast. Not too much abuse though, because Chris, although a Liverpool fan, follows the Makem's beloved team too. The evening saw Cornish, Makem and Fifer drive down to the mess bar, (well it was raining rather hard), Fifer doing the honours and sticking to the "twisted lemon" while Makem and Cornish got stuck into the Castles. The strange thing that night was Makem leaving before the bar was shut, this being commented on by the others, but after only an hours sleep that day he was rather tired.

Wednesday was a fairly quiet day, but at least some of the Metties Christmas pressies started to arrive, with Makem and Tractor boy both receiving gifts in the post. The evening saw Makem and Cornish take a fairly late trundle down to the Mess bar for a few quiet beers, but these were well deserved after walking past the MVC, where our ears were assaulted by the murdering of one or two songs. To our surprise we were the first of the "usual suspects" to turn up.

Thursday Lunchtime had most of the mess in stitches over the recorded information message for the Tristar's departure…. Can you really have a final check-in time one hour after the plane departs?….. Rambling Roger had a bit of a funny evening too, he had one rather irate person off the delayed Tristar, trying to find a phone to call and cancel a taxi that he was expecting to be waiting at Brize for him. The evening saw Makem, Fifer and Tractor Boy, all attired in rather loud shirts, stroll down to the mess for a few beers, only to find the mess packed to the rafters. 3 tristar crews, an aero-med team, a TA detatchment to name just a few of those in attendance. We had all expected our shirts to pale into insignificance compared to some of those Lee has sported over the past few weeks, but to our amazement Lee was wearing a very plain, very ordinary polo shirt. To say that the conversation that followed was a bit on the rambling side is an understatement. It started with a Toblerone, ended in San Marino, but got there via Swizerland, the Alps, Rome, the Vatican and Andorra. (Well, we metties do have to think laterally some of the time). Killer (Sarah) took a lot of convincing before she would believe that Fifer was not the Tristar driver who had just brought her back from MPA. One of our number then got rather embarrassed during the latter stages of the evening when Paul, of the TA det introduced him to one of his colleagues, Louise. His introduction went something like this…."Louise, this is (named withheld to protect the guilty), he is one of the met men and fancies the pants off you"…….much reddening of faces ensued to say the least, even though the guilty one claimed he had only enquired as to what her name was. The evening ended with the long stagger back up to Knob Hill, the metties being accompanied by Killer.

Friday evening saw Happy hour in the mess bar, as usual it was very well attended. Makem arrived at the mess after work to be greeted by verbal abuse before he even got into the building. Thanks much Muttley, welcome back. Entry to the bar found Killer in the middle of a game of Pigs. The squeals that could be heard did have a striking similarity to the noises made by animals of porcine origin. Chris the Medic provided the evenings floor show, showing all present her sunburned legs, unfortunately Chris, if you do that while wearing a skirt you tend to reveal far more than you would expect. After a quick shower and change of clothing, Makem returned to the bar to join Fifer, Tractor Boy, Falling Phil, Rambling Roger, RMP, Scribbly, Lee and Nigel for a lot more beer and board games of various sorts. One of the more serious discussions that took place revolved around the cost of festive chocolates in the various 'stores' around the island, the consensus being that they are outrageously overpriced. Poor Rambling got a fair bit of stick from our military brethren about his hairstlye, this being likened to a rug/hedgehog/crash helmet. Tractor Boy also managed to get the place in stitches by commenting on how much he liked queens (ooh err missus)………. The passing away of George Harrison saddened the evening's proceedings a little, as most of us there grew up during the Beatles era, but fortunately we did not have any recordings of their tunes to kill. Tractor Boy decided that as he was at work the following morning he would leave early (Working is after all the curse of the drinking classes), leaving Makem to accompany Fifer back up to Snob Hill. He had already started to do his Bryan Adams impression, singing "Summer of 69" before he got out of the bar. Makem,(who at this point was expecting a rather staccato journey back), was quite surprised to find that Fifer could indeed multi-task (i.e. stagger and sing) and although there was a brief stop for a chat with Mum (who had just dropped of Chris and Killer), the walk home was quite uneventful. (Unfortunately Fifer's recollection of this part of the evening was somewhat hazy come Saturday morning.)

Makem, Rambling Roger and RMP were to be found sipping nothing stronger than warm, sweet tea at 9 am on Saturday morning, but at least we were up (in body but not in spirit). Falling Phil appeared shortly afterwards, bright and breezy as ever, claiming that he had forgotten to switch his alarm off. Falling and Rambling then went of to Georgetown to sample the delights to be found in Reflections. Fifer finally surfaced at around 10am, looking somewhat the worse for wear, but recovered in time to go to work for the afternoon. Makem spent the rest of the afternoon festooning the basha with lights (now that it's December it is deemed to be acceptable) and doing more personal admin. Fifer, and Tractor Boy paid a another visit to the mess bar during the evening, but they swore the only had quiet beers. Cornish on the other hand followed the quiet beers with some very, very noisy ones (after all he did miss the previous couple of evenings), actually stacking beer for consumption after the bar had closed.

Sunday morning saw a very shabby looking Cornish, suffering from the after effects of far too much beer the previous evening. When asked what time he had got back, he declared that he didn't know at what time he had left the bar, but he did remember that Rambling Roger had accompanied/guided him home. His powers of recuperation kicked in sufficiently through the morning to allow him to partake in the weekly GROGS ramble during the afternoon. The evening saw all the off duty staff remain out of any drinking establishments, no doubt recovering from the previous three nights of partying.

On Sunday 2nd December we had a very good turn out of 58 players for the Ray Beano Challenge Cup. This was a Two Team Texas Scramble played to Stapleford. The competition was sponsored by the American Legion and was combined with the 6th Annual Chilli cook off.

The weather conditions were cool with thick cloud to start, however the sun broke through and by mid morning it was hot and humid.

We had a record 16 two's scored over the 18 holes of play and the teams were, Lyn Leo and Sidney Benjamin 3 two's, George Thomas and Jeffrey Joshua, James and Joyce Bennett had two two's and the following other teams all scored one two: Patrick Moyce and Kenny Wensel, Fiona Bennett and Cara Young, Alex Turner and John Billingsley, Tony Green and Ian Thomas, Jack Whitaker and Myrtle Joshua, Patsy and Melvyn Moyce, Tony Joshua and Raymond Cranfield, Mark and Julie Anthony, and Patrick and Ollie O'Dean.

Carrie Augustus was awarded trophies for lady nearest the pin on par 3 sixth hole and for the longest drive for the ladies on par 4 ninth hole. Fiona Bennett won the chip off for nearest pin on the ninth hole.

Sidney Benjamin took the trophy for nearest the pin for gents on par 3 twelfth hole and Richard Joshua had the longest drive on the ninth.

In third place on 43 points were Lyn Leo and Sidney Benjamin and in second place after a playoff over two extra holes were Andrew and Helena Bennett, who lost to Patrick and Ollie O'Dean both teams having had 44 points. Major Jim Fisher, US Base Commander, presented the trophies. Congratulations to all the winners.

The Annual Chilli Cook Off took place after the golf presentation; however, this is likely to be reported elsewhere in this paper. The American Legion provided a delicious lunch and once again we would like to thank them for sponsoring this very popular competition.

Next Sunday, 9th December there will be a Two Team Texas Scramble competition starting at 8.30am. This will be followed by the AGM and the election of officers to serve on the new committee, so I hope we will have an equally good turn out. I would again appeal to all members to take this seriously and consider and nominate person/s you wish to serve on the committee for the next term.

Remember the club cannot function without a committee and it is every member's duty to see that a full committee is elected. The list for election of officers to serve on the committee has been posted on the board for some time and so far there is just one nomination for Vice Captain. The club can only continue to function if you as members do your duty. Whilst it might seem unlikely, in the event that a committee is not elected next Sunday the club will close until such time a full committee is elected.

Golfers do your duty, be there on Sunday, 9th December to vote for the person/s you wish to serve you on the committee at One Boat Golf Club.

Please sign list which is posted on Club Notice board for the competition, lunch will be provided.

Finally, a full set of Dunlop clubs in a black/red bag complete with a Trolley has gone missing from one of the Port cabins at the Club. If anyone has borrowed these clubs, will you please contact Steve Malia, or me (my telephone number is 6211 home or 6119 work).

HASH TRASH

Hash Hares: Rat Boy, Limp Sausage, Fruit Bat, Fido, A-Drain, HKP, Ivor, Fugitive, Rug Rat, Puff Grannie, Miss Trunchbull

Hash Hounds: Fugitive, Skipper, Fruit Bat, A-Drain, Miss Trunchbull, Limp Sausage, Twin Peaks, Fido, Rat Boy, Rug Rat, Rusty Head, HKP, Wyle E. Coyote, Barley Buckeye, Exocet, Chief Longpole, The Vamp, Mortica, Radar, Chief Bald Eagle, Divining Rod, Tit Pecker, Weigh Back, Northend, Peg Basher, Hot Pants, Dog Shite, Mr.Bean, Wooly Back, Orville, Tinky Winky, Puff Grannie

Today won't be like other hashes. Today won't be a simple 45 minutes of running around. No, today is completely different and unique. It is the second All-Day-Hash. With loads of planning, mapping, coercing, and all out begging, a day of 'Fun & Run' is about to begin. We gather on the US base to be transported, to the NASA site, the start of this day's torturous trail.Photos are taken to help with relative identification of the bodies. The hares for Leg 1 are Rat Boy and Limp Sausage. They begin by the telling of the dangers.

ON-ON seems to be in the opposite direction of where we SHOULD be going, as all start the run towards White Horse. A bar check brings in the stragglers as the FRB's scatter in all directions looking for the true trail. A wager between HKP and Chief Bald Eagle is discussed challenging that the Chief would not be lead astray.(me thinks he doesn't trust me-hehehe) The ON-ON is found and the pack is off. Some of the Newbees see us as a mad bunch and vow that IF they survive, they would not do this again. ON-ON is now UP-UP as we have circled the Land of the Lost and climb the other side. An O check gives all a rest at an old abandoned NASA building. Down the road now leading to North East Cottage and the first leg is complete. Drinks are consumed and bodies rested as Fruit Bat and Wyle E.Coyote give the hazards of Leg 2. Following the trails of old and going up gives a view of 'The Rock' not many have seen before. A brief stop at Garden Cottage and up the stairs to the top. From somewhere in the past, a visit of two well known hashers, shows some that One Hung Low and Come See Moon are still with us, if not in body at least in shorts.

Once at the Marine Barracks, nibbles and drinks are gobbled up to get ready for Leg 3. Hazards are given by A-Drain and HKP as wire(wya), HKP, hidden rocks, thorny bits, HKP, and loose stuff. The ON-ON is sounded and the wager between HKP & CBE is discussed again as the first of many back checks is found(that's one). Thru the gates and around the hill and CBE shoots off to the right to find he has been duped again(that's two). A grassy hump gives a soft place to park as Rat Boy and HKP roll about to burn some unwanted energy.

ON-ON is shouted and down we go over hidden rocks, disguised holes and tall grass. A bar check sends some in each direction with the true trail straight. Down some more, over good bouncy rocks and some thorny bits. Down into a tangle of trees and bush where another bar check stumps the lot(that's three CBE). Up a small amount to one ridge of Middleton's and to a circle check and a wonderful view of a great down. All are instructed to go to the tree with the bag. From here along a goat trail and to the Bullock's Pond caren where an ice chest SHOULD BE. Roly Poly was sent to the next stopping point to retrieve the chest from there to quench our thirsts. It seems that a certain group of poofs removed the cool box and, with some guilt, dropped it off on the side of the road to be recovered by Roly Poly on his way back(me thinks these thieves need a talking to by CM). Now to Leg 4 where Fugitive and Ivor tell a tail of more rocks, dust, and wire. ON-ON towards Spoon Crater and down to the shooting range. Another back check brings the wager with HKP and CBE to four(4). An O check brings in the Knitting Circle and gives some a rest.

The Divining Rod is starting to show signs of age as he looks for shade and crashes down. Off again towards the Big Fans, the ending of Leg 4, and the beginning of Leg 5. The Ladies now have a chance for revenge and we are told of a 95% flat hash back to the Patio. ON-ON and UP-UP only to find a back check waiting for the FRB's(that's five). Down to where they make little ones from big ones and off towards Table Crater. Along some dusty roads and a pipeline, then down the asphalt to where the food and drinks were. Great Hashes hares and a BIG THANK-YOU to Roly Poly for playing Hash Taxi for the day. As all consume liquids to replenish the fluids lost throughout the day, Ivor mans the cooker and has help from Skipper. To all who brought foods, another big thanks and to Mr.Bean and his merry misfits for joining the 'Fun & Run'. As the nite wears on, a large group of reprobates and malcontents are brought forth to be chastised and given proper names, and welcomed into the fold.

With such names as Dog Shite - for always being under foot, to Peg Basher and Weigh Back, to Exocet - you can see him coming but there's bugger all you can do about it. We now can party into the nite and most do!! Thanks to Fugitive and Ivor for returning the next morning to help with the clean-up.

SHOOTING COMPETITION

On Monday 26th November 2001, The Swarm Taekwondo Club held a sponsored Board Breaking Competition at the Travellers Hill Gym.

23 Students took part in the various events, showing some outstanding performances in the Board Breaking Demonstration.

Thanks to everyone for their support and sportsmanship. Well done to all students and congratulations to all the winners. Thanks to Nigel Ord for his kind donation and to anyone else who donated to this event.

The Swarm Taekwondo Club Ascension Island held their 3rd grading on Saturday 1st December 2001 at the Travellers Gym. Congratulations to all 25 students who took part, of which 4 students graded for the first time. They did exceptionally well achieving their Yellow Belt. Special congratulations to Julian Moyce who doubled graded to Blue Tag.

Students demonstrated the various patterns required to achieve their next Kup. Patterns consist of set moves which include all the various techniques such as kicks, punches, blocks and strikes. These test the students memory and physical ability. Self-defence against knife attacks, release against grabs and Board breaking were also demonstrated by the students.

The Club also held their Christmas party later that evening at the Green Turtle. A good night was had by all dancing well into the early hours. Thanks to Tony Green and Harold Henry for the loan of the club. To Deborah, Junior and Renee for preparing such a superb meal. To Freddie and Sid for providing the disco. To the bar staff who kept the drinks flowing. To everyone who helped getting the place ready, without your help things would not have been possible. And finally to all our guests and anyone else who helped in anyway. Thanks for such a good night.

EDITORS : Adam & Julia Henshaw
The New Islander Office, Fort Hayes, Georgetown, Ascension Island.
Tel/Fax 00 + 247 6327

E-Mail: editors@the-islander.org.ac

Internet Team: Richard Thomas, Laura & Mark Handley, Gavin Yon

Deadline for all contributions is 6.00pm on Monday

Aaron seeing how many boards he can break	Jason performing an elbow strike	Russell performing a jumping side-kick
BOARD BREAKING RESULTS
Highest Board Break Using Front Kick
Junior Male Winner:	Julian Moyce (51cm above own head height)
Senior Male Winner:	Leroy Thomas (66cm above own head height)
Senior Female Winner:	Helena Bennett (21cm above own head height)

Breaking the Most Boards put together
Junior Male:	Jonathan Stamp (Total of 4 Boards)
Senior Male:	Jason Moyce (Total of 6 1/2 Boards)
Senior Female:	Cheryl Roberts (Decided on Speed Break)

Breaking as many boards as possible in one min using Front Kick:
Junior Male:	Julian Moyce (54 Boards)
Senior Male:	Gavin Yon (56 Boards)
Junior Female:	Carly Thomas (42 Boards)
Senior Female:	Christabel Beard (55 Boards)

Breaking as many Boards in one minute using Combination Technique:
Hammer Fist & Full Turning Kick
Senior Male:	Mark Johnson (42 Boards)

Punch & Side Kick Combination
Senior Female Winner:	Cheryl Roberts (42 Boards)
Junior Female Winner:	Kirsty Anthony (41 Boards)

Speed Breaking
Junior Male:	Jonathan Stamp (15 Seconds)
Senior Male:	Barry Francis (16 Seconds)
Junior Female:	Nirella Lawrence (18 Seconds)
Senior Female:	Christabel Beard (17 Seconds)

The Islander - Thursday 06th December 2001

BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT

Congratulations to Angela and Derek Coleman on the birth of their second son

Owain Anthony Rhys

Born on Wednesday 28th November (10 days late) at 12:55pm
and weighing in at 7lbs 1oz

Father Keith Writes:

St MARY'S CHURCH- WHAT OF THE FUTURE?

LETTERS

THANKS

CHRISTMAS MESSAGES

The Met Office Weather Report

Golf News - From One Boat Golf Club

HASH TRASH

SHOOTING COMPETITION

SWARM TAEKWONDO CLUB - ASCENSION ISLAND

BOARD BREAKING RESULTS

The Islander - Thursday 06th December 2001

BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENT

Congratulations to Angela and Derek Coleman on the birth of their second son Owain Anthony Rhys Born on Wednesday 28th November (10 days late) at 12:55pm and weighing in at 7lbs 1oz

Father Keith Writes:

St MARY'S CHURCH- WHAT OF THE FUTURE?

LETTERS

THANKS

CHRISTMAS MESSAGES

The Met Office Weather Report

Golf News - From One Boat Golf Club

HASH TRASH

SHOOTING COMPETITION

SWARM TAEKWONDO CLUB - ASCENSION ISLAND

BOARD BREAKING RESULTS

Congratulations to Angela and Derek Coleman on the birth of their second son

Owain Anthony Rhys

Born on Wednesday 28th November (10 days late) at 12:55pm
and weighing in at 7lbs 1oz