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| CHANGE OF COMMAND CEREMONY AT US BASE
On Wednesday the 5th of September, Colonel Samuel W. Francher,
Commander of the 45th Logistics Group at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station,
Florida - presided over a ceremony to transfer the command of the Ascension
Detachment from Major Philippe D. Chechowitz to Major James D. Fisher. |
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Major Philippe D. Chechowitz was born on the 8 June 1960
in Poitiers, France. As an Air Force dependent, he spent his childhood
in France, Spain, California, and New Hampshire. He attended the University
of New Hampshire, graduating in 1982 with a Bachelor of Science degree
in Wildlife Management.
He was commissioned through Officer Training School in 1986, and upon graduation attended maintenance officer technical training. His first assignment was to Mather AFB, California, working B-52G bomber aircraft. In 1989 he transferred to Beale AFB, California, where he initially worked KC-135Q refuelling aircraft and later cross-trained into the Logistics Plans career field. In 1994, as a Captain, he returned aircraft maintenance and helped bring the KC-10A aircraft to Travis AFB California. This tour was followed by an assignment to Souda Bay, Crete, to serve as the Chief of Logistics for an RC-135 reconnaissance aircraft detachment. In 1998, he returned to Beale AFB in California as a Maintenance Supervisor supporting U-2S aircraft. He arrived at Ascension Island in August 2000. Phil's next assignment is to the U.S. Embassy, Chisinau, Moldova, where he will serve as the Chief of the Office of Defense Cooperation |
Major James D. Fisher is originally from Bingo Junction,
Ohio. He entered the Air Force in 1986 through ROTC at Ohio University.
He has also served as a pilot candidate at Hondo, Texas, then Undergraduate
Pilot Training at Reese AFB, Texas. He served in missile operations at
F.E. Warren AFB, Wyoming beginning in 1987. He cross-trained into engineering
in 1992, and served at the Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Depot and
System Program Office, Hill AFB, Utah. In 1995, he was assigned as a space
and missile policy advisor at the State Department, where he was part
of the Office of the Secretary of Defense, State/Defense Exchange Program.
His primary career path is as an engineer with extensive space and missile
experience.
Major Fisher comes to Ascension Island after being stationed at Headquarters Air Force Space Command, Peterson AFB, Colorado, where he served as a Program Element Monitor/Command Lead for the Evolved Expendable Launch Vehicle. Major Fisher and his wife Patricia, who is originally from Steubenville, Ohio, have two children: Christine aged 13, and James aged 10. His wife and children currently reside in Colorado Springs, Colorado. |
| ALL THOSE INVOLVED WITH THE ISLANDER WOULD LIKE TO OFFER THEIR HEARTFELT CONDOLENCES TO THE RELATIVES AND FRIENDS OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO DIED IN THE EVENTS WHICH TOOK PLACE IN THE UNITED STATES THIS WEEK |
| INCOME TAX RATES ANNOUNCED
The Acting Administrator, Mr. Andrew Kettlewell, has announced that the
basic rates of income tax for Ascension will be at the same rates as those
on St. Helena. |
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|
Dear Friends,
Having only been here for a little more than a year, I pray that you do not
mind me addressing you in this familiar tone. I feel that you are all my friends,
you wave and smile as I struggle up the hills and encourage me when I talk to
you. I have been asked to write the letter this, the Battle of Britain week,
as I am a Church of England Reader, licensed to the RAF. I will discuss this
post with anyone that wants to know at another time. I want to talk to you all
about HEROES!!
Who are your heroes? How does someone become a hero? Are you someone else's
hero? Our first heroes are probably our parents, a dad that can play football
with us, a mum that is always ready to listen and to care. Or a teacher who
helps us develop a special interest or talent in us that no one else has the
time or the opportunity to see? A sports person, a pop star or an actor maybe?
A writer of amazing books or lyrics of songs?
The young men that we will be remembering in Church on Sunday were all sons,
brothers and fathers who were just doing their jobs. The all knew what the job
was that needed doing and were ready and willing to do it. Do you think that
they thought of themselves as heroes? Watching Hollywood's version of things,
it looks like it. Watching the newsreels is another thing altogether. Some of
them are shy, others act up for the camera, others just carry on with what they
were doing. They didn't always get things right, they just did their best.
What about all of the behind the scenes support staff? They were the unsung
heroes. Without a good meal inside them, without the knowledge that they could
trust the engineers to patch up their aircraft, these young men would not have
been able to do the amazing job that they did. To the airman arriving back at
barracks at the end of a mission, the lady that gave then a good cup of tea
or made their beds was definitely a hero (should that be heroine?). The person
who navigated back to England, the cook who made breakfast, all heroes.
Do we have the stuff of heroes within us? We don't know until something is asked
of us. One of the heroes we can look to as an example is Peter. Peter the special
friend of Jesus. He was so like us, he said things that were so incredibly stupid,
he did things that really annoyed people. But, he was the one that Jesus took
with him everywhere, the one whom he trusted. Peter became a hero, once he had
been equipped, like those we remember this weekend, he was trained, he learnt
from his mistakes, from an ordinary beginning he became a hero. Do we have what
it takes to be a hero? With training and a recognition of the job that needs
to be done, I believe we have.
May God bless you and all those that you Love, Yours in Christ Jane
| BATTLE OF BRITAIN SERVICE
Everyone is invited to a Battle of Britain Commemoration Service which will be held at St. Mary's Church, Georgetown, at 1700 hours on Sunday 16 September 2001. With the kind permission of the St. Mary's Church Council, the service will be taken by The Rev'd (Sqn Ldr) Adrian Gatrill, the Church of England Chaplain of RAF Leeming, and he will be assisted by Monsignor Anton Agreiter, the Roman Catholic Priest in Charge, The Grotto, Our Lady of Ascension. POST-SERVICE REFRESHMENTS All those attending the service are cordially invited to drinks and light refreshments in the garden of the Station Commander's residence, No 9 Georgetown, immediately after the service. Please be aware that this is will not be of the scale of the Annual Reception which will be held at a later date. |
FROM THE ACTING ADMINISTRATORMr Andrew Kettlewell Press Release from Mr Andrew Kettlewell, Acting Administrator Firstly, on the tax front. Those of you who attended the public meeting will no doubt recall that, whilst confirming that tax would be raised on three fronts - by income tax, by customs duties and by a property tax, Matt Young was unable to give indicative tax rates. There were two reasons for this: firstly Matt was - quite rightly in my view - reluctant to offer half-thought out tax strategies because of the possibly of inadvertently misleading people, especially the employers, many of whom are in the process of preparing next years budgets. The second reason for Matt's reluctance is that balancing of the tax yield from all three components is a complex exercise, and quite frankly, the work which would enable Matt to hypothesise the outcome of various tax models is not yet complete. This is still the case, and the implications of this are touched on below. However, the analysis which has been completed enables us to announce that we intend to adopt the income tax rates which St Helena uses. Proposed Income Tax Rates This means the first £3,000 of taxable income will be taxed at 17%, any earnings above this level will be taxed at 27%. Allowances Allowances which can be offset against taxable income will fall into two categories: personal allowances and dependent child allowances. Each person tax resident on Ascension will receive a personal allowance
of £2,000. Dependent child allowances will be on a sliding scale as follows: £300 for the 1st child, £200 for the 2nd and £75 for the 3rd. Needless to say, the child will have to be a dependent (that is, the parent claiming the allowance needs to be the sole provider of support for the child) and the child will have to be resident on Ascension to qualify. As I said at the beginning the intention is to balance the tax yield from all three components. We also need to ensure that the tax system is fair and equitable, nor should it act as a disincentive for people to work on Ascension Island. Having said all that, the tax system must produce enough revenue to enable the government to offer an appropriate range and standard of services. We have not yet completed the property tax component of the tax system, and if it subsequently appears that the property tax system cannot yield the appropriate contribution to revenue without imposing penal rates of tax it is possible that we will have to adjust income tax rates and/or duty rates to achieve the balance. Training The Tax Officer, Amelia Knipe, leaves the island on 11th September to
go for training in St Helena. Shortly after her arrival back on Ascension
on 20th October, employees can expect to receive their first Tax Form,
the data from which will be used to establish income tax roll for Ascension.
Despite the inclement weather, Gavin George and Len Coleman are keeping very close to the original timetable in surveying Ascension Island. This in itself is quite a remarkable achievement when you consider just how many plots of land there are and just how much rain we have had. The physical surveying work is still on schedule for completion before the Gavin and Len leave on 20th October. A Valuation Officer from the UK will visit the Island between 18th and 25th September. He will collect the necessary data and take it with him to the UK, hopefully to complete the Valuation Roll by the end of October. We should therefore be in a position to complete the modelling of the tax system in early November. The FCO Constitutional Adviser will visit both St Helena and Ascension Island in October and members of the public here will have an opportunity to put their views to him. Draft land tenure legislation is complete and will be agreed shortly. Draft tax legislation is expected to be complete by the end of November. So you can see that there has been progress on most fronts. If the current levels of effort are maintained I am confident that the deadline of 31st March 2002 to complete this whole exercise remains achievable. Andrew Kettlewell, Acting Administrator |
 |
Andrew Kettlewell has been temporarily assigned to Ascension Island as the Acting Administrator during the absence of Geoff Fairhurst. He arrived on island at the beginning of August, and is with us until the 11th of September, when he will return to St. Helena on the RMS. Also with him on the island are his wife, Bernie, and their daughter Katharine, aged nine. |
|
PROFILE OF ANDREW KETTLEWELL
Now 43, Andrew was born and educated in Harrogate, North Yorkshire. After school he went on to Newcastle University where he studied Economics and Accounting. He is currently employed on a two-year contract as the Management Accountant for the Saint Helena Government. This is a new role and he is involved in reviews of the financial, budgeting and tax systems. He also gets involved in business cases, for example privatisation issues and the establishment of commercial banking systems. After graduating in 1980, Andrew started work in Bradford at a firm of chartered accountants in the Ernst & Young group. After 2 years auditing ("yes it is as boring as people say"), he enjoyed a 10-year spell with BT, seeing them evolve from a government owned trading fund to a full-fledged public limited company. He started his BT career at Yellow Pages as a Management Accountant, working on systems development and business planning. He had a two year period as a finance trainer during which time he qualified as a Chartered Management Accountant. He then became the Controller, Financial Analysis for BT's Group Personnel Division, which employed 6000 people and had a budget of £250 million pounds. The last project he worked on at BT was their major redundancy scheme in the early 90's. This was one of the most generous redundancy schemes ever set up in the UK which cost BT over £1 billion. In fact, the terms were so good that he decided to take redundancy himself, and set up as a self-employed consultant in 1992. In 1993, he took a contract with the Overseas Development Agency (Now DFID - The Dept. for International Development), setting up a strategic planning process for the Jamaican Government, also running training courses in budgeting. He stayed in Jamaica for 4 years, and in 1997 went to Belize to manage a £2 million DFID project to computerise accounting and tax systems, and to revise budgeting methodology. In October 2000 he took up his current assignment in St. Helena. And at the end of his 6 weeks as Acting Administrator what does Andrew think about Ascension? "Ascension is a truly unique place and it has been a great privilege to play even such a small part in its development," he says. "I have really enjoyed my time here. We were made very welcome from the moment we got off the RMS and I would like to thank everyone on the Island for that." And for the future? "Of course we must complete the work on the democratic framework, and I still think that this can be done by the end of March. The biggest immediate problem facing the island is a shortage of living accommodation. Almost all of the houses are linked to existing jobs and if we want the economy to develop and new businesses to come in there must be somewhere for the people to live. In the medium term the development of civilian flights to Ascension and the likely construction of an airport on St Helena, I think, are the keys, which will unlock the potential of both islands. I believe that the future of the islands is inextricably linked, economically as much as socially. Structured development does not just happen, it must be driven and we need to work together on the way forward." So what does Andrew think of the "Shelco bid" for the airport construction on St Helena? "I think it is great that we have someone so interested at this early stage," he says. "But with a project of this complexity an enormous amount of planning has to be done to make sure that we get things right. So do not be downhearted if you do not see diggers moving in next month or even next year. I can assure you that a tremendous amount of work is going on within the government to ensure that we make the right choices for St Helena's future. And the more bidders we have the better!" Report / Interview by Stephen Fowler |
|
| THE WAY WE WERE...........
29 Years Ago (1972)
19 Years Ago (1982) |
LETTERS| From the Editors:-
Stephen Fowler
In this quiet little corner of the world we are often isolated from world
events, but watching the horrendous images on the TV from the United States
this Tuesday, only the coldest of hearts would fail to be moved by the
unspeakable acts of mass-terrorism that were being perpetrated there. The Islander is once again in need of volunteers on all fronts. Please
do come forward if you can help. The Islander has been part of the fabric
of Ascension Island for over 30 years, and will only continue to be so
if people come and help. We wish Major James D Fisher a good tour as the new commander of the American base. The best of luck to Major Phil Chechowitz and we wish him success in his next assignment.
Charmaine, Melanie & Co: We like to say hello to Uncle Rodney Stevens better known as Rodney doggy,
Leanne Wade, Anthony Thomas & Diana Henry thinking about you all &
missing you. Just to let you know there will be a new Bone in the family
soon round about Christmas time. Don't work to hard as we will need babysitters
when on leave. Dear Sirs, In the light of Mr Herbert's problems I thought I might put pen to paper
and offer some advice to travellers. Come on the island, we can do better. But come on you too world, don't be such GROCKLES. Time was when man cut his own sandwiches and filled his own water bottle and if he misread his environment smiled at himself and roared with laughter. Good Lord cannot we walk three miles for a hamburger?(Why would we want to?)If the Lonely Planet and the Rough Guides omit us from their pages that may or may not be something to be proud of but it might tell you something about our life. It's simple, unfrilled, joyous untainted, honest. Friendly? Of course, Larry, buy me an Olly before I punch the wall and say something I'm gonna regret! Moss Scott Dear The Islander Through the efforts of William L. Handy, Jr CSR 4116 Ascension AAF, I
can report the news that the photos he took for myself on 2 sep 01 after
initial observations at the Dewpond by myself back in FEb 2001, is eveidence
for two species of livebearers, coexisting there. Many thanks once again John Harry |
Dear Islander Editors: I just read your paper including your brief write-ups from 30 years past. I sent you an e-mail many months ago and never got acknowledgement of receipt and so I'm resending it in hopes that you will kindly acknowledge receiving it. Hello to all you Klinka walkers and to the staff of the Islander Newspaper. I was the commander of the U.S Air Base there back in 1971-72. I still have my very first issue of the Islander Newspaper that was published on 30 April 1971. I was reminicensing about my tour of duty on Ascension and so I decided I would do an internet search to see what I might find. Happily I found your Islander Newspaper Web Page and have enjoyed reading it. Reading about the ADF happenings brought back many fond memories for me of times spent at the Exile's Club with Brigadier H.W.D. McDonald, who was the Administrator at the time I served on Ascension. We had many grand times together; especially at our weekly KWV meetings. Mr. Basile Leighton was the Cable & Wirless manager, Alex Cruickshank was the BBC Resident Engineer, Geofery Appleby was the Police Superintendent. We had a very relaxed and enjoyable social life on the island and we took turns hosting parties at the various clubs, (Exiles, Volcano, Two Boats, English Bay, BBC Beach club, etc.)around the island. I was a frequent visitor to the Residency for social gatherings and for nothing more than engaging the Brigadier in many games of "Horse Shoes" and Arrows, or as we Americans call them "Darts". We were in the "Hey Day" of the Apollo Moon Missions and Ascension played a key role in tracking the astronauts from the NASA "Devil's Ashpit" Tracking Station. For the Apollo 15 mission we ran shuttle buses up to the station and allowed any islander who cared to visit, to watch our TV sets and see the astronauts bounce around on the moon. At the time there were many St. Helenians who had never seen TV before and so they were amazed to experience their first look at TV. Then when we told them they were seeing pictures of men walking on the moon, they were in total disbelief. They thought we "Crazy Americans" were practicing some kind of "Black Magic". Golf was the favorite sports activity for Brigadier McDonald, so we usually
arranged to get a foursome together two or three times a week to enjoy
a highly competitive match. The losers surrendered a new golf ball and
bought the first round of drinks for the winners. Of course the game was
reviewed, autopsied and verbally played over and over again as we each
took Just prior to my transfer from the island the Brigadier had asked if we could make our large bulldozer available to add another nine holes to the "Two Boats" golf club. I agreed to do this on the sly with volunteer base equipment operators and base labor on the weekends. We began clearing large boulders from about three of the proposed fairways. After that I transferred off the island to my next assignement and I never learned if the additional nine holes were ever completed. I don't know if my successor was willing to take the risk of using U.S. government equipment on an unauthorized and unofficial project. Consequently I don't know if the golf course ever got its additional nine holes. I never informed my superiors at Cape Kennedy of this activity. In this case I figured what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them. I established the "Don't ask, don't tell" Policy long before it became popular in today's U.S. military. A lot has changed since then. I will say that I enjoyed working with
and getting to know the St. Helenians. They are quick eager learners with
a lot of initiative. I am proud to have played a part in giving them job
opportunities that they hadn't had up until that time. There is no doubt
that we could not have operated our Air Base as well as we did without
their help. Well, I am afraid this has gone on too long; so I'll close now. I wish
you all the best of luck. I think your Islander is an excellent newspaper
and its Web page is well laid out. Warmest regards to all. Dear Sirs, I have enjoyed reading about the AScension Island. Before I logged onto your site, I knew that I heard that this island was ysed as a refuelling station for the British during the Falklands War. I have now learned much more from your site. I wonder if you can help me. I picked up a writing email acquaintance through your site. His name is Pip Waller from North Yorkshire, England. I have lost his email address. I wonder if you could help me regain his address so that I can continue to correspond with him. My wife Josephine is from the same city in Yorkshire. Here's thanking you in advance, I am Respectfully FithughL. Whitfield Tempe Arizona, USA
|
| Letters
to the Editor can be sent to editors@the-islander.org.ac |
2,469: One Odyssey Too ManyA small bright dot arced over the relatively flat surface of Lacus
Veris, the Lake of Spring. It grew in size as it flew towards the first
permanently manned Moon Base, officially called Abstention International,
but locally known as Asi. Without disturbing the silence of the vacuum,
the Remote Materials Shuttle fired its retro-rockets to slow its graceful
decent towards landing pad one, and touched down with the smallest of
bumps. Almost at once a gantry, carrying a seemingly ancient crane,
extended towards the already opening cargo bay doors and the unloading
processes began.
|
The Met Office Weather Report |
 |
Statistics for the week ending {date}.
| Max (deg C) | Min (deg C) | Rainfall (mm) | |
| AIRHEAD |
27.3
|
20.0
|
6.2
|
| TRAVELLERS |
24.1
|
19.2
|
32.5
|
| GEORGETOWN |
28.0
|
21.5
|
7.9
|
| RESIDENCY |
22.8
|
15.9
|
60.2
|
| ST. HELENA |
17.8
|
13.2
|
14.6
|
| FALKLANDS |
11.0
|
-0.9
|
5.4
|
| BRIZE NORTON |
20.3
|
7.1
|
6.8
|
Sea temperature around Ascension Island:
24.5 C.
ASCENSION ISLAND:
A damp week particularly overnight but there has been a fair amount of
drizzly showers on the mountain during the day too. As always though,
some good sunny periods at English Bay.
ST. HELENA:
Mean Temp 15.3 C
Mean Wind Speed 14.7 Kts
Total Sunshine 16.8 hours
Gary Thomas is taking a well-earned holiday.
UK:
It was a dry and settled start to the week with some light rain crossing
the country mid week. Winds then picked up to a brisk northerly bringing
cold air and showers for the weekend.
FALKLANDS:
Strong winds and cold air on Monday gave way to strong winds and warmer
air. Winds eased off somewhat towards the end of the week but picked up
again on Sunday with snow showers moving in later.
Well, what a week, we saw Jules and Timmy from ops depart the scene along with Natalie (telemech), but the lovely ladies Tommy and Emma arrived to brighten our lives and of course to party. (For those who have been to the Falklands the exchange of a Timmy for a Tommy must be all too familiar). Plus we had the sad departure back to the UK of Liz the locum after only a few weeks of lightning activity. Of course a good old Asi send off and welcome was duly performed, as usual involving regulation quantities of intoxicating relaxation juice.
Highlight of the week was the quadruple birthday party, in
addition to the new arrivals bash in the VC (did anyone recognise the "Hells
Angel"?). Yes a Mettie gets another year closer to retirement (were
not talking about it but its 39, just a baby really -The Laird). Best wishes
go out to all of them.
Russ, from the other met office (CSR), made a very accurate prediction when
he told me on Friday lunchtime that there are a lot of sharks to be found
in the waters around the island at the moment. Verification of this statement
was seen in the VC on Friday evening, the number of fins on show being nigh
on uncountable. The scene of alcoholic devastation at Travellers on Saturday
morning was not a pretty sight. Gone 10 am and even the movers weren't up
and about. A poor show in comparison to the last lot, I shall have to have
a word with Mark to ensure this never happens again, after all I am an adopted
mover and the high standards already set have to be maintained.
I became an adoptee again this week, this time by young Tommy from ops,
she decided to adopt me as her Ascension Island Dad. (That's ok by me, just
as long as she doesn't expect any pocket money.)
The poor weather that has plagued the island since my arrival continued, the barbie for Rudi's family on Wednesday night was nearly rained off. Those involved though proved that it is possible to have a barbecue in the rain and can never be said to have let a few showers dampen or even dilute their spirits on the night. (I had heard that a certain Mettie abhors diluting his Gordons with much more than a slice of a lemon and a drizzle of tonic - LoM) (that could be slanderous Laird.what tonic)
The last week seems to have become "Insult a Mettie week",
One of our number having been advised to get a bra and a haircut! (and no
it wasn't Mystic), obviously the target of this abuse, who was spotted heading
into Georgetown to check out the price of these very items, needs to work
on toning his pectoral areas somewhat and yes 'I' do need a trim. On the
subject of haircuts, has anyone ever heard of these being used as a pick-up
line.(Oh I don't know Makem - how about, "hey baby how's about giving
me a trim"!).
McNick was accused of being a striking likeness of Wally of "Where's
Wally" fame. Our thanks for all the above insults go out to the main
perpetrator Tommy (with additional helpful comments from Mover Mark) and
all this after she'd been on the island for only two days.
McNick continued his sporting battles throughout the week, Nigel running him very close during their two squash encounters, plus there was a new McNick challenge, he throwing down the gauntlet and taking on Locum Liz and her partner Lee Evans (aka Gary (ops) who incidentally picked up another alias this week, he now answers to Strawberry Blonde or should that be Strawberry Bland) in a testing, titanic, tumultuous, two set, tennis tournament. Nick fought back to a sporting draw, having been down a set. You could say he managed to elbow his way back into the match!
The Laird has been on the island for far to long now, having
been heard to utter the famous phrase/chat up line of "Here Sheepie
Sheepie" (with no mention of trims or haircuts) on a trip up Green
Mountain on Tuesday, He claims it was said for the benefit of Metchat….A
likely story. Luckily he only has about 30 days left here, not that he is
counting, but his daughter definitely is with regular e-mails saying '35
days', etc, etc.
(The truth is that The Laird had taken the Makem up the mountain (to see
the quality of the light) and was in the process of the white knuckle roller
coaster to the bottom and only referred to the Sheepie as a way calming
the Makem's racing pulse.
P.S. Phil(s) We didn't make the wheels scream once - well they don't when
they're off the ground. The Laird). (but Laird you made that comment on
the way up the mountain).
Sticking with the sheep theme, a comment made by Falling Phil and Rambling
Roger about seeing a sheep with "come hither eyes" was overheard
by one of our number in the mess. Guys you have definitely been here too
long..or are you just Yorkshire-men.
The burning question of the week however is what were McNick and the Laird
doing with the baby donkey on the road to Travellers on Friday evening,
having been spotted by the staff from ops, rummaging around in the back
of the Met-car for equipment. (They claim they were just checking the foal
over to ascertain that it was in good health and that the equipment was
in fact a camera.)
That's covers a fair amount of the last week's antics although there's still so much we haven't had time to mention. Sadly there's no space left to talk about Fridays "Happy Hour Lasts an Hour" shocker, the many quotes of the week from Turners Tom, or the 2 people, one male one female, who were spotted walking along the road in the early hours of last Saturday carrying their clothes - your secret is safe with us!
The Makem.
This weeks competition:- How many chat-up lines are there
in the following
"Fancy a date", "I could do with a haircut".
Answers to the editor no later than Monday 5pm.
| Friday 7th saw the gruesome departure bash, originally designed to
be singular but altered to read plural at the last moment. To the great
applause of the ensemble gathered to celebrate the death throes of the
rare Healthius Safetius beast of theGCMS era, the sacrificial devotee
known as "Brian" in a former life, was ceremoniously poured
from the high altar of the Clubus Volcanus. Copious amounts of the bacchanalian
elixir of life were consumed by all and sundry. The sacrificial devotee
was accompanied on his journey down the Styx River to Hades by his assistant,
Scotus Mckayus (A last minute recruit for the ceremony, dragged screaming
from his cave-like dwelling). The haunting voice of the Scotus Mckayus was heard disappearing into the distance reciting that well known Scottish chant: "We're doomed Mr Mainwaring, dooooooomed!". Ancient scribes are working day and night on the translation and an appendix to this tome will be available in hardback. See Mills & Boone, Tribal Death Chants, 1998 £3.20, available at all good bookstores. International détente was observed and United Nations protocol adhered to, by the presence of Techus O Seargeantus Americanus, (a rare beast if ever there was one) and his group of merry followers. Their mating cry of "Make mine a double" could be heard echoing round the hallowed halls of Clubus Volcanus. Cries of "I plead the fifth", to the local taxi company ECILOP POTS & daughter fell on deaf ears. Watch this space 'cause there's nothing on the telly. Available in Braille for the hard of hearing..The Caped Scribe |
Hash number: 869
Hash Hares: Soon Come, Limp SausageHash Hounds: The Fugitive, Skipper, Boots, Bone Head, Miss Trunchbull, The Major, Fido, Rat Boy, Yeti, Rug Rat, Mama 3 Bones, Rusty Head, Elma Fudd, Jim, Mike and John
Through rain or sun the Hash still goes on and on and on………
With an impressive turnout, more 'newbees' and a 'too be named', Limp Sausage got the words of wisdom under way. The on on was given and then quickly retrieved as the beer conditions were invoked by the Major. With Frank n Furter a miss, Bone Head and The Fugitive took over and set the pace, obviously in training for the L---- H----. Rat Boy and Skipper, obviously a bad combination when sorting false trails were of on a tangent at the first bar following old hash and leading the herd astray.
Limp Sausage pulled everyone back on line, well almost everyone, Fido missed and attempted a 'I'm immune to RF' path. The pack followed a cunningly twisting through ash and lava, the FRBs clocking up extra mileage on deviously set detours. Soon Come, bringing up the rear entertained Boots and Rusty Head with monster impressions just in case they got bored. At the last circle check a quick regroup and of in the opposite to the obvious direction, Limp Sausage and Soon Come chuckling. A good try for the last back arrow guys, I'm sure the rain washed away the writing.
Back at the KK we were joined by Gilligan mumbling excuses of large fish on the end of rod would not let go, half four approached and fish and man lost sense of time. Did he also say that the big one got away?
The fire was blazing and the food was soon underway. Great hash to the hares and all who stayed over the BBQ even in the rain to produce delicious grub. An excellent night.
The pack welcomed consistent three time hasher Elma Fudd into the fold.Next Week's Hares: Yeti and Gilligan from the road to NASA. Follow the road until you see the sign.
Receding Hare Line: 22nd September - Live Hare
Bone Head and Rat Boy from the……..wait for it! Fugitive enjoy your leave.
Rat Boy - Hash Scribe
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30 MILE SPONSORED RELAYWell done Tracy W, Liz-ann, Marilyn, Marita, Cara, Jacqui, Cheryl, Kitty, Joyce, Racheal, Helena, Dawn, Rudy, Richie, Suelaine, Sylvia, Christabel and Tracey Y who all took part in the run on Sun 2nd Sept and completed the distance in a total time of 5 hrs 1 min. Thank you to all who supported the event, especially Nick (PTI) for your help and to everyone who gave generously. The total sum raised so far is £800.
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