The Islander Newspaper, Ascension Island - Thursday 6th September 2001

Ring Ring. Ring Ring It's the Vicarage phone.
Two rings. Three possibles. A friend ringing from the UK? Unlikely. Someone jabbering away in French who will be most impolite when I tell them it's a wrong number? Or someone from the Base.
"Hi there. How are you today?" It's the Base.
"Will you kindly do the Invocation at the Change of Command?" asks Maj Philipe
"Of course", I say. And after I've found out when and where begin to wonder what to say.

It's a great honour to be asked. Last year I had to ask "What's the 'Invocation'?" Now I know. Obvious really. The Change of Command is taken very seriously by the American Air Force. By the time you read this the Command of Ascension Auxiliary Airfield, Ascension Island, will have been handed over to Major James D Fisher under the watchful eye of Colonel Samuel W.Francher, the commander of the 45th Logistics Group at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, Florida.

And under the ever watchful eye of God. That's where I come in. I lead the prayers asking God's blessing on the new Commander. I invoke His presence to watch over the work that lies ahead. It is a good way to start a new Command. A good way to begin every week. Every day, every task.No fancy words are needed. A quick prayer is all it takes.

LETTERS

A TOURISTS VIEW OF ASCENSION

You published a dialogue between Johnny Hobson and J Brock in your issue of 2nd August, which we picked up while on island. Anyone reading that article, and the other information on Ascension based web sites, might like to consider another view - that of a visitor - before making any firm plans.

The first thing a visitor needs to know is that it isn't a good idea to arrive on a Sunday. Georgetown looks as if it has been struck by a neutron bomb. The buildings and vehicles are there but there is no sign of life.

After walking up from the pierhead through this ghost of a town, assuming you arrive from the luxury of the truly excellent RMS St Helena, you find the Guest House. By now somewhat warm you look in vain for a cooling drink, in the fridge of your room, in the communal fridge, anywhere, but there is none. Eventually you track down the ice machine on the adjacent premises - cold water is better than nothing. Now for food - but where? After reading all available brochures you work out where the Mess is, but that's serving a three course meal centred on chicken curry and that's too much, as is the price of £5 a head. Where can you get a snack? Well, there's the Exiles Club, but that's closed down permanently, and Reflections is closed because the owner is off island and no one can be bothered to open the place while she is away. And the Volcano Club .. but that's out of town. But hey, Saints Club sounds good value and it opens at noon, so let's go there. But that isn't open either, well, not until 13.00, an hour later than the advertised time.
At last, four hours after hitting town, a drink for the parched throat and a very good fish cake on a roll. Excellent, enough to restore the spirits. Maybe this place isn't so bad after all.
Next morning, who wants to pay £5 a head for breakfast at the Mess when all we eat is cereal and toast? The shop opens at 08.30 and we can get all we need, apart, of course, from toast. Bread as that isn't delivered until 11ish - just as well we didn't come in on Saturday.
Now for the exploration of the island, the beaches, the walks, the diving, the fishing we have read about and looked forward too. Having read the brochures in lieu of anything else to do on Sunday we realise we must have a car because there is nothing within walking distance of the Guest House. And is there a car available? Quite simply NO!! Turns out we should have booked one when we booked our accommodation three months ago. Pity no one told us. Well, what about a bus, a taxi. NO!! there is no need of such things on the island. Can we hire the AIS people mover which should have brought us up from the pierhead and which sits idle most of the day? We're happy to pay the drivers salary and a bit for the hire. NO!! It is not permitted.
So how do you access the wonders of the island - well you can't, and that's it. Welcome tourists. But there's always the excellent Museum, isn't there? If we can't see anything, at least we can learn all about history of the place. Well, yes, but only if we are in town on a Saturday between 11.00 and 13.00 as it turns out.

At that stage I would have said that I'd never be back, but then the wonderful Young family came to our rescue - Jimmy, Buffalo and Patsy, thank you again!! They heard about our problems and with the help of their friend Cedric Henry managed to find a car for us to use for the last couple of days of our five day sojourn. And what a difference that made. We dived, we swam, we walked. What a contrast between Green Mountain and Lady's Hill! And how about those volcanic "bombs" on Lady's Hill, and the porcelain at Devil's Riding School?

We only visited three Letterboxes, got our stamps and signed our names, and would love to finish the course some time. BUT next time we'll pack our own emergency rations and make damn sure that we have a car!!

VICTOR SPENCER BENNETT
1948 - 2001

Victor Spencer Bennett who passed away on Sunday 2nd September 2001 at the age of 53, was born on St. Helena on 12th February 1948. He first came to work on Ascension Island in 1966 for Pan Am at the tender age of eighteen. After a year with the company he returned to St. Helena and came back to Ascension within the same year (1967) to take up employment with M.P.B.W. (Ministry of Public Buildings & Works). He was first employed as a gardener in Two Boats and later transferred to the Power Station. Victor spent 11 years working for M.P.B.W. who over the years evolved to P.S.A. (Property Services Agency).

In January 1978 after the withdrawal of P.S.A., the BBC took over the running of the Power Station and along with many of their staff; Victor transferred over and was employed by the BBC as a General Assistant. In March 1997, privatisation on BBC World Service saw Victor being employed by Merlin Communications International Limited.

Victor has spent all of his adult life on Ascension, in total 35 years. Over the many years he has become a familiar figure in the community. Victor will be remembered for being a keen 'squid' man, having spent many a lunch break on the rocks just off the Power Station. He was regarded as a father figure to the 'boys' at the Power Station and also had a good memory of life and people back in the 'old' days. Another of his keen interests was ships and he even got the nickname of 'shipping Major' amongst his colleagues. Staying with shipping, Victor was also heavily involved with the construction of Merlin's recreational raft. He even had the honour of having this craft named after him ('Victoria')

His work colleagues, especially at the Power Station will sorely miss him as well as the many friends he has made during his life on the 'rock'. Victor is survived by his family on St. Helena, Ascension and Falkland Islands.

Colleagues,
Merlin Communications

THE DARWIN AWARDS

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honouring those who accidentally kill themselves in really stupid ways. Named in honour of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

SOME AWARD WINNING PERFORMANCES FROM THE PAST.......................

(August 1969) On August 15, 1969, Hurricane Camille claimed 143 victims along the Mississippi Gulf Coast.. Most were guilty only of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, unlike twenty who perished while attending a beachfront "Hurricane Party."
Despite evacuation warnings delivered by earnest emergency teams, their festivities continued unabated. The party-goers defiantly declared that the concrete foundation and the second-floor location of their party provided plenty of protection from the impending hurricane. Their confidence proved to be tragically misplaced when a 24 foot wave slammed into the apartment, destroying the building and subjecting the party goers to gale-force winds and violent ocean surges.
Most of these hurricane worshippers were killed. A few survivors were swept miles away, cheated of a Darwin Award by the capricious hand of fate.

(March 1993, Florida) A 24-year-old salesman from Hialeah was killed near Lantana in March when his car smashed into a pole in the median strip of Interstate 95 in the middle of the afternoon. Police said that the man was travelling at 80 MPH and, judging by the sales manual that was found open and clutched to his chest, had been busy reading.

(21 December 1992, North Carolina)
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, when, awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear

Rattler Got Your Tongue?

(1992, California) Snakes flick their forked tongues in the air to "smell" the world, collecting molecules then pressing the tips into small olfactory pits. An inebriated twenty-year-old man took umbrage when a wild rattlesnake stuck out its tongue at him. Tit for tat! He held the snake in front of his face and stuck his tongue out right back at the rattler. The snake expressed his displeasure at this turn of events by biting the conveniently offered body part. The toxic venom swelled the man's face and throat, choking him to death.

A college student once dressed up as Dracula for Halloween. As a finishing touch, he put a pine board down the front of his shirt, so he could "realistically" stick a knife into the board and pretend he was transfixed with a killing stake. He didn't consider the strength of the thin pine board when he tapped the knife in with a hammer. Propelled by the force of the hammer, the sharp knife tip split the soft pine and buried itself in his heart. He staggered from his dorm room into the party, gasping, "I really did it!" before succumbing before horrified friends.

SOME CONTENDERS FOR THIS YEAR....................................

(March, Delaware) Two I-95 toll collectors were involved in a friendly snowball fight when one reached out to scoop some snow from a passing tractor-trailer rig. Manning a tollbooth is not the most interesting job, so it's only natural that collectors would engage in some freestyle entertainment. But scooping snow from a moving vehicle is not the safest of sports. The toll collector's hand caught in the rig, and he was pulled from his booth and dragged to his death.

(July 16, 2001, United States) An assistant plant manager for Blacklidge Emulsions died when he used an acetylene torch to cut a hole in a 10,000 gallon tank of asphalt emulsion. He was attempting to visually survey the amount of emulsion that remained in the tank, but "no safety precautions were taken before the cutting operation began," stated an OSHA representative. "[His} attention was twice called to a warning sign on the side of the structure which stated the contents were flammable or combustible. In complete disregard of safety procedures," he continued, the erstwhile manager "lit an acetylene torch and began cutting, causing an explosion that blew him 93 feet away………………………………………..More next week

Health Tip of the Week

WHAT IS CHOLESTEROL AND WHY DO WE NEED IT?

Cholesterol is a soft, waxy substance that is found both in the food we eat and naturally in the blood.
Blood cholesterol is made in the liver- we need some cholesterol because it is an important part of all our cells and some of our hormones too. The liver is encouraged to make cholesterol by the fat we eat, particularly saturated fat.
Our liver makes more than one type of blood cholesterol. Although both are essential in the body, one has earned the reputation of being ''good'', while another type has become known as ''bad'' cholesterol.
The ''good'' cholesterol is called High Density Lipoprotein or ''HDL'' cholesterol. It actually helps to clear up surplus cholesterol from our blood stream and takes it back to the liver
''Bad'' cholesterol is known as Low Density Lipoprotein or ''LDH'' cholesterol. This type carries cholesterol from the liver to the blood vessels.
All of us have a certain amount of both types of cholesterol in our blood at all times. The more ''good'' HDL cholesterol and the less ''bad'' LDH cholesterol we have in our blood, the better it is for our hearts. And the less overall cholesterol we have in our blood the better it is for us.

WHY IS HIGH BLOOD CHOLESTEROL BAD FOR THE HEART?
High blood cholesterol is bad for the heart because it increases the risk of heart disease. Any extra cholesterol that is present in the blood will be transported around the body as ''bad'' LDH cholesterol. It is when this cholesterol is deposited in the arteries around the heart - the coronary arteries- that the problems start to occur. As the fatty deposits in the arteries start to get bigger the blood vessels become narrowed. This makes it more difficult for the blood to move around the body and subsequently the heart has to work harder. Too much pressure on the heart can cause the muscles to ''wear out''.
A thrombus (or blood clot) may form at the same place in an artery that is also affected by the build up of fatty deposits. This may then block the passage of blood through the artery, which in turn will stop oxygen reaching body tissues. If this occurs in the coronary arteries, it prevents oxygen reaching the heart tissue- this can result in a heart attack.

HOW DOES DIET AFFECT BLOOD CHOLESTEROL LEVEL?
The liver acts as a regulator, making cholesterol when we need it and decreasing the amount it makes when we don't. The total amount of fat and saturated fat we eat are the most important influences on our blood cholesterol due to their effect on the liver. A diet high in fat, particularly saturated fat, causes the liver to make more LDH cholesterol.

DO I NEED TO HAVE MY CHOLESTEROL LEVEL TESTED?
Not necessarily. Unless you are particularly concerned about your cholesterol level, you can seek advice from a doctor.
Some people suffer from an inherited condition which results in high blood cholesterol. This condition is called Familial Hypercholesterolaemia and people suffering from it require medical and dietary advice.

WHAT CAN I DO TO KEEP MY CHOLESTEROL LEVEL DOWN?
It has been recommended that we cut down on the amount of total fat in our diet as well as modifying the type of fats we consume. We should try to eat less saturated fats and try replacing them with more unsaturated ones.
Polyunsaturates are especially important as they are thought to play an important part in lowering the body's total blood cholesterol level. Certain polyunsaturates (omega3) found in oily fish, such as herrings, mackerel and salmon, can also reduce the tendency of the blood to clot. The best oils to use, ie, those low in saturates, are sunflower, soya, olive and corn. Monounsaturates have a neutral effect on blood cholesterol - they neither increase or decrease it. They are very good used as a replacement for saturated fats though- try using olive oil when you cook instead of butter.
It is also important that we eat plenty fibre-rich starch carbohydrates such as bread, pasta, potatoes and rice as well as plenty of fruit and vegetables. They provide us with fibre, vitamins and minerals- and very little fat Some foods contain a particular type of fibre called 'soluble' fibre which, as part of a low fat diet, may help to lower our blood cholesterol. Good sources of 'soluble' fibre include oats, peas, beans, lentils, most types of fruit and leafy green vegetables such as cabbage.
Liver, offal, eggs and some types of shellfish, eg, prawns, are high in cholesterol,

ASCENSION ISLAND: This week saw the end of a record breaking August, the wettest on record, with nearly 9 mm more rain than the previous maximum recorded rainfall. This was followed by a drier but fairly cloudy start to September.

ST. HELENA: Gary Thomas reports - The relativity cold, wet and windy conditions continued this week reaching a near gale during mid-week, gusting to 42 kts, resulting in a couple of power-cuts in some areas of the island. Sunshine has become a rare occurrence and the whole island will very much welcome some improvement soon. Mean Temp 15.1 deg C, Sunshine 21.5 hrs & mean Wind Speed 17.8 kts. P.S. There will not be a summary from Gary for a while as he needs to take a break.

UK: Hot and dry during the first half of the week, but thundery showers mid week brought a cooler, northerly airflow. Conditions stayed mostly dry though with patchy drizzle crossing the country at the weekend.

FALKLANDS: It's been a fairly mixed bag of weather this week with some light snow around the middle of the week, becoming a little warmer with strong and gusty northerlies towards the end. Settling down to a brisk westerly wind by the weekend.

August saw the records tumbling as far as rain is concerned. At the airhead, 30mm of rain was recorded, this being two and a half times the normal (12mm) for the month. It was also close to being 50% higher than the previous August record. Travellers hill figures for the month were 84mm, this also more than twice the 38mm that normally falls there, and 35% greater than the previous wettest August.
Figures from elsewhere on the island also showed similar patterns.

The week began with a rather unnerving barracuda encounter for locum Liz and Mystic, fresh off the tristar and eager to get some snorkelling in. All was going smoothly when they started following a fish they hadn't seen before. The tables soon turned however when the fish began to follow them and opened it's mouth very wide to reveal a full set of sharp looking teeth (perhaps it was just showing off its fishy dentition, 'specially for the dentist). It wasn't a very large fish, but it looked like it could do some damage so they retreated to the beach, shadowed all the way, and decided to do some sunbathing instead - while the barracuda patrolled the shoreline. That was Monday; the fish got bigger by the day however and by Friday it was six feet long and had severed a limb! Who says we're prone to exaggeration! The said severed limb was however massaged gently back into full working order in the bar on Wednesday evening, and without any pink mouthwash - one believes that the medicine used came from a green bottle instead.

Now there's a surprise! Nick, the gazelle, could be accused of exaggerating a wee bit too this week. He has been hitting the gym recently (gym not gin) and came in to work one day announcing that he was officially dead. Sceptical looks from colleagues who had never heard of a talking corpse before brought on the explanation. While running on the running machine he had been keeping an eye on the heart rate monitor and was rather alarmed when he noticed it had reached new and uncharted heights for a person his age. Later when working it out he realised the machine had been registering a heart rate that should have meant total collapse and he had lived to tell the tale. Poor lad, he probably had the machine set to Ks instead of Ms!!!

The Makem is now getting fully into the Ascension way of life (oh, I'll do it tomorrow). After a couple of weeks of protesting how hot it was when we switched off the air conditioning, he finally admitted to having felt a little cool in a strong wind the other night. Hasn't taken him long to get weathered in. He has also succumbed to the Ascension Island falling over thing, tumbling into rocks while staggering along the wall back to his basha, but, bar a few scratches, no damage was sustained.

It was goodbye to some of the movers this week who have provided us with so much entertainment, the new crew have quite a reputation to uphold/overcome! There've been no reports of first night injuries yet but they have a whole month to make up for that. Also departing for less rocky pastures was telemech Natalie, the combined leaving bash in the VC being well attended.

Gary (ops) was given two new aliases while there, someone being convinced he was Lee Evans the comedian, visiting the island as part of a CSE show. Josie (prom) also pointed out that he looked a lot like Paper-Cut Pete from Mad magazine!!!

Sunday evening saw a gathering of the Ascension Island, Travellers, walking group and guests. The venue the C/mess bar, the occasion… well that was never fully worked out although there was talk of falling Phil falling yet again and maybe it was to give praise for his safe return. At any rate a quorum having been assembled there was much sampling and intelligent talk. Intelligent? Yes, it may seem an oxymoron to you but the subjects ranged from football to….. football via chilli-vodka and bananas, with any inflammatory remarks being quickly fanned / extinguished by our professional anti-pyrotechnician. What was all that about bananas anyway? - ask the ladies, bananas are supposed to be good for them.

And, a final (last) message from Don the ex-Ascension highlander…. You can tell the Taekwondo folks that the farewell card was great, gave me a good laugh. Thanks! But there were some sticky moments because of the card. The metal staple with which they attached the condom to the card (must be some kind of Catholic contraception method) set off the magnetic archway at the airport and there was much embarrassment after they finally tracked down the source of the bleep!
Thanks lads !
Cheers, DON

Ps Thanks also to Merlin and all others responsible. Or should the headline read
Civilisation Reaches Ascension
We now have RADIO 4 live and radio 5 live, so to speak.
BFBS2 on 97.3
All together now….
Hallelujah !

Apology
An apology is owed after some spurious info was fed to me last week. I now know that Phil Sharp does not work over in MT. The comment about the two Phil's in last weeks edition still holds true however, due to the fact that a large amount of gin had been consumed, and as far as I am concerned I could see two of Mr Marlow.

THE GREEN TURTLE

THE WAY WE WERE..........................

Stephen Fowler takes an archival amble throught some of the back-issues of The Islander

30 Years Ago (1971)
Tom Harman-Smith, who founded The Islander some 4 months or so ago; is still the editor.................... Issue number 7 of the paper reports the sad death of 22 year-old Sgt Charles Larry Shelton of the US Forces, who is found dead in his barrack room after choking on vomti following a drinking session at the VC. Dr Newlander reported that it was likely that he had been dead for some 2 or 3 hours before he was called..............................Three hundred or so islanders visit the Ashpit NASA facility at the invitation of Station Director Jeff Speck, to see pictures of the surface of the moon. For some it is the first time they have ever seen television...............................The new Base Operations Manager is Thor Thessem. He returns to Ascension for his third tour of duty.............................The Shop Manager, Nick Britz writes in to deal with the many complaints received about the high prices of fruit and vegetables arriving on the Charter Plane. He explains that this is due to the fact that all these goods are from either France or Italy, as both England and South Africa, the normal sources of supply are between seasons at the moment...........................On the sports field, the hero of the Cable + Wireless sports day is Gavin Young from the Clerk of Works Department Arthur Williams wins the Hobbah Cup for the 100 yards flat race for the HL Club with a time of 11.7 seconds. Puddy Crowie is the popular winner of the shot putt with a throw of 32 feet 7 inches.......................

25 Years Ago (1976)
The Islander is compiled and edited by John Hudspeth and Rose Waddy, and printed by Nelson Bull and Eric Wilby.........................The Cable and Wireless Earth Station celebrates its 10th anniversary. It had originally been constructed to serve as a data link as part of the Apollo launch project for NASA…………The PSA bus timetable is published in The Islander; there are 7 buses a day doing the rounds to Two Boats, the Base, and Georgetown, except on Sunday when there are only 5…………….As so many people have recently arrived on island via the British Caledonian Charter, and also the MAC flights from Stateside, The Islander publishes some general information for the guidance of the newcomers; petrol on the island is 35p per gallon, and can be obtained by buying vouchers from Brenda Thomas at the Administrator's Office. The Post Office is run by Postmaster Donald Constantine assisted by Peter Harris. Car tax is £2 per annum and a driver's licence is 50p for the same period. Asst Supt John Parker is assisted by Sgt John Fuller at the Police Station. The Senior Medical Officer is Mr. Graham Pyper asssisted by Dr. Rose Waddy. The American Doctor is Dr. Bill Newlander. Mr. Ernie Riddiough is the Environmental Health Officer………………

20 Years Ago (1981)
J Brunton and S Newman are responsible for The Islander during this period....................... Issue no. 528 of the 4th of September announces that Ascension Hash number 1 is to be held on Saturday the 5th. Dave Miller, Paul Wallace and Eunice Pryor will be the first 'Hares'. There will not be a bbq after this first Hash, as everyone has to get away to get ready for the Charter Dance at the Senior Mess in the evening............................On the Tommy Turtle page, it's Happy Birthday to Dion Yon, Sharon March and Suzanne Joshua............................HH The Administrator Mr Bernard Pauncefort has decided to form a "Blue Train Club" on the island. Anyone who has travelled the thousand mile trip on the Blue Train from Pretoria to Cape Town is eligible for membership. Please contact either HH The Administrator or Okkie Fouri..................................The tanker 'FULGUR' operated by Shell and registered in Monrovia arrives with a cargo of 3492 tonnnes of gasoil for the English Bay Power Station. Mooring and hose connection takes, from daybreak to noon, and then she spends 10 hours discharging. The next delivery is in March of next year.................................At the annual Sports Day, the stars are Tom Stiggons, Melvyn Moyce, Brian Yon and Bob Shackleton. Thanks to Bill Bryden, Norman Shacklady and Ned Abell for their judging.............

UNLEADED FUEL and LEAD REPLACEMENT ADDITIVES

The US authorities announced 2 months ago that they will no longer import leaded 4 star from November 2001.

Ascension Island residents, worried that the disappearance of leaded petrol at the end of this year could curtail the use of their cherished cars, motor cycles and historic commercial vehicles, can take heart. The Federation of British Historic Vehicle Clubs has endorsed four lead substitute products as adequate for all normal driving.

The announcement, made at the FBHVC's annual conference 3 years ago at the Heritage Motor Centre, Gaydon, Warwickshire, UK, marked the completion of an extensive programme of testing at the Motor Industry Research Association (MIRA). This was intended to measure the resistance to valve seat recession afforded by commercially available lead substitutes, for which no standard test existed, despite the great claims made for these products by their manufacturers.

The FBHVC commissioned an extensive programme of testing for valve seat recession by MIRA.The tests used a Rover A-Series engine (which is particularly prone to valve seat recession) and a set of new cylinder heads and valves, which were generously donated by the Rover Group. Twelve lead substitute products each underwent identical 70-hour test programmes at MIRA, including 20 hours' accelerated wear testing at full throttle and full load. For reference purposes, tests were also made using leaded, unleaded and low-lead petrol.

The results of the test showed that unleaded petrol caused the most valve seat recession (VSR) at 1.00mm. The four lead substitutes gave considerably more protection, and had to pass the benchmark of 0.30mm. But ordinary leaded petrol was still the best, producing recession of just 0.001mm.

At the end of some 1000 hours' testing, independently reviewed by a technical assessor representing the RAC, four products were found to have passed the demanding tests. These are:

Each is now entitled - provided that it is marketed in the exact form in which it was tested - to carry the FBHVC endorsement. However Ian Edmunds, who heads the FBHVC's Fuels sub-committee, emphasised at the time that "historic vehicle" owners should not mix lead substitutes but should choose the product which most closely suits their requirements and stick to it.

But, is this going to give "classic" car owners the confidence to use these products? Well, for £130 you can still buy an unleaded cylinder head. The same amount of money will buy you enough protection from Superblend Zero 2000 to take you 22,000 miles on unleaded petrol.

So here's a question for the purveyors of fuel on Ascension (i.e. Percy's Pump owners).

"Given the average age of the vehicles on Ascension has any provision been made to buy in a stock of petrol additives prior to the introduction of unleaded petrol ??"

HASH TRASH

Hash Hares: The Fugitive & Skipper
Hash Hounds: Frank-N-Furter, Fruit Bat, Rat Boy, Miss Trunchbull, Limp Sausage, Wyle E. Coyote, The Major, Soon Come, Gilligan, Rug Rat, Mrs Motivator, Rusty Head, Road Runner, Maurice, Brent

The on-on is missed by most, and a scramble begins to find the starting point. At last, located further ahead than thought permissible by some, we dared to go where no man wanted to go before. A brief of the track ahead, included mention of bars, circle checks and a "bird check".

Soon Come is confused, then a C17 moves down the runway and he starts to smile but is given the no, no, the woman fidget nervously, then the wideawakes are heard and all is clear. On-on to the first bar, Limp Sausage, hugging a hangover tries a chicken run with the C17. The Fugitive smiles, Frank-N-Furter sighs as the on-on is not up. As the sea edge, The Fugitive considers a down down for those interested in the bird check. All is forgiven and a start back to the second circle is underway.

The FRB's are in for a surprise, the knitting circle is to lead. After a swift change of roles it is announced that the path will split. A Good stretch around a hill leaves those in need of a good run in need of a good rest. The munching and gulping starts, and after a short rest the inevitable is announced. The Circle of Names (what circle..) is drawn by Rat Boy and four newbees enter to be anointed and welcomed into the fold as Rug Rat, Mrs Motivator, Rusty Head and Road Runner.

Next Week's Hares: Soon Come and Limp Sausage from the KLINKA KLUB and not Garden Cottage as announced last week. Please bring something to put on the BBQ afterwards.

Receding hareline:
22 September: Rat Boy and Bone Head Live Hare (come and help us catch them)

On Sunday 2nd September 2001, we had 16 players take part in the competition for the Antiquary Cup, this was a stapleford played over 18 holes. The weather conditions were excellent with plenty of cloud cover throughout the morning.

Three players holed out in two to claim share in the two-ball pool, they were David Beard, Fiona Bennett and Martin Cranfield.

The top spot in the stapleford went to Andrew Bennett with a very good 43 stapleford points, Andrew plays off a handicap of 11, I think a small adjustment is due.

In second place just three points behind was David Beard on 40, David plays off a handicap of 13. Two other players worthy of mention are Patrick Moyce and Alex Turner both on 36 points.

The next competition will be monthly Medal this will be on Sunday 9th September 2001, tee off 8.30am, please sign list on Club Notice Board.

EDITORS : Ian Andrews
The New Islander Office, Fort Hayes, Georgetown, Ascension Island.
Tel/Fax 00 + 247 6327

E-Mail: editors@the-islander.org.ac

Internet Team: Richard Thomas, Laura & Mark Handley, Gavin Yon

Deadline for all contributions is 6.00pm on Monday

	Max (deg C)	Min (deg C)	Rainfall (mm)
AIRHEAD	26.8	20.8	7.5
TRAVELLERS	25.0	19.0	22.7
RESIDENCY	22.5	15.9	34.6
GEORGETOWN	28.0	20.5	6.4
ST. HELENA	18.8	12.8	25.6
FALKLANDS	7.2	-0.8	10.3
BRIZE NORTON	28.7	9.8	0.4

The Islander - Thursday 6th September 2001

CHERYL ANTHONY RECEIVES MBE

Father Keith Writes:

LETTERS

A TOURISTS VIEW OF ASCENSION

VICTOR SPENCER BENNETT
1948 - 2001

THE DARWIN AWARDS

Health Tip of the Week

The Met Office Weather Report

THE GREEN TURTLE

THE WAY WE WERE..........................

UNLEADED FUEL and LEAD REPLACEMENT ADDITIVES

HASH TRASH

Golf News - From One Boat Golf Club

The Islander - Thursday 6th September 2001

CHERYL ANTHONY RECEIVES MBE

Father Keith Writes:

LETTERS

A TOURISTS VIEW OF ASCENSION

VICTOR SPENCER BENNETT 1948 - 2001

THE DARWIN AWARDS

Health Tip of the Week

The Met Office Weather Report

THE GREEN TURTLE

THE WAY WE WERE..........................

UNLEADED FUEL and LEAD REPLACEMENT ADDITIVES

HASH TRASH

Golf News - From One Boat Golf Club

VICTOR SPENCER BENNETT
1948 - 2001