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The Ascension Island Newspaper |
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To
mark the 30th Anniversary of 'The Islander' paper Sylvia Henry (pictured
right), who is the second longest serving member of The Islander, was
chosen to cut the ribbon and offically declare the exhibition open. The
longest serving member, Mrs Raxa Sukhtanker, was unfortunately unable
to attend the ceremony.
If you would like to see the exhibition or any of the other displays then the Heritage Society at Fort Hayes Museum is open on Saturday's between 10.30am and 11.30am. |
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| On the 4th May 2001, Capt Matt Wilkinson RE handed
over a number of completed diving tasks to the Island Administrator and
to the RAF Station Commander.
The tasks were carried out by the diving team of 9 Parachute Squadron, Royal Engineers and included the marking of safe swimming areas at English Bay and Comfortless Cove. A survey of potential slipway sites at English Bay and a condition survey of Georgetown Pierhead to assess the extent of water erosion to the Pier structure were also completed. |
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Dear Friends,
Well I hope you took my advice last week and went to the Pantomime - those of you who didn't missed a very good show. Thanks to all who made it possible.
And thanks to those who took part and STILL managed to get up in time to be On Parade for the Family Service on Sunday. Well done.
There is nothing so disheartening as arranging something and then finding no-one
turns up. Even worse when people promise
to come and then don't.
I'm sure we need have no fears of that for the Ascension Day Fair. Besides being
a fund raising effort to support the Church
and good causes on the Island it is primarily about everyone getting together
and having fun. We hope to have a few more
things for the younger children this year, pedal cars and trikes to ride, a
"Pinada" for them to have free sweets, a chance to go fishing for
ducks and win a balloon or to "Feed the Clown" and get a prize.(Subject
to deliveries from the UK!) Also this year
we have been requested to "keep it going" a bit longer. Instead of
it being all over and done with by tea-time there will be
a Disco after the Auction, the £1000 Draw will take place during the Disco
at 8.30, and you will be able to have a curry for supper between 9 and 10. (First
come first served!) And just so that those of us who will have been on the go
for the previous
24 hours can get some sleep before the big clear-up next day it will all end
at 11 o'clock. Full programme in Next Weeks Islander.
In the meantime, have YOU offered bottles or books or cakes or whatever?
Please help if you can to make this a really great day out.
It's our last Ascension Day Fair on the Island for we leave in August. I'm sure
that with your help it will be one to remember.
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God Bless you and keep you, Fr Keith & Ginny. |
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| FROM THE ADMINISTRATOR Mr Geoffrey Fairhurst |
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UK OVERSEAS TERRITORIES GOVERNORS' CONFERENCE
The third annual Overseas Territories Governors' Conference takes place at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office from 2 - 4 May. Baroness Scotland, Minister with responsibility for Overseas Territories, will open the Conference and chair a number of sessions.
The Conference provides an opportunity to take stock of progress since the
March 1999 White Paper on Overseas Territories, Partnership for Progress and
Prosperity. The White Paper set out a renewed contract between the UK and
Overseas Territories based on partnership, consultation and mutual responsibilities
and obligations.
Key topics for discussion at the 2001 Conference include good governance, constitutional modernisation, combating drug trafficking, regulation of financial services, external relations, sustainable development, human rights, aviation and maritime issues, environment, nationality, illegal immigration and the public, prison and police services.
The Conference and annual autumn Consultative Council form the twin pillars
of structured dialogue with the Overseas
Territories.
Geoffrey Fairhurst
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REPORT ON OVERSEAS TERRITORIES GOVERNORS' CONFERENCE
A Report for BBC World Service "Calling The Falklands" by Graham Bound (GB) (04/05/01) Governor Lamont is in London. He spent the last three days at the Annual Governors' Conference at the Foreign Office. Donald Lamont (DL) was joined by colleagues from as far afield as the Cayman Islands, St. Helena and Gibraltar and they chewed the fat over issues like the new relationship between London and the Overseas Territories, as laid out in a recent Government "White Paper". But perhaps the most controversial topic to be discussed was citizenship. When I met the Governor earlier today, I asked him whether all the citizens of the Overseas Territories will soon be able to live and work in Britain. DL: It's a legitimate question, not so compelling for the Falkland Islands, as you put it because citizenship is not an issue there. But there were maybe two themes in the discussion, which are relevant to your question. One is the general principle of partnership - the term used in the "White Paper," and we discussed where we were on that. Is it working? Is it a real partnership? I think the short answer is, with known pretences that are perfect or there will be a sudden change but it is to be regarded as a work in progress. (100X did its best with this statement.) We developed the relationship in that sense and in that spirit. There is a difficulty about the promised legislation on Citizenship. It's a combination of a number of factors. There's no inhibition on the - there are no reductions in the Government's commitment, which has been made and which is of particular interest, I suppose, in St. Helena but not uniquely there. It was an offer that was made and will be delivered. But Parliamentary time tables and other priorities have impeded progress on that. GB: But, for the many St. Helenians who listen to us, no particularly strong light at the end of the tunnel yet, by the sound of it. DL: We are coming up to an election and I think there is a consciousness that with a new Parliament with everyone kind of ready to go and there's unanimity of view of the Home Office and the Foreign Office that there is a powerful pressure for the Government to fulfil its commitment. GB: You touched on Partnership and obviously everybody who goes to the conference must speak from their own experience in their own territories. How do you see Partnership developing in the Falklands between the Governor and Foreign Office and the Legislative/Executive Councils and the people? DL: One of the interesting things is that, I think the role played by Governor (not just me) is rather more informal than is the case in other Overseas Territories. This is one of the elements that came back, not only in our exchanges but for the first time this year there was a session for the wives of Governors. I was very struck by that sort of difference in how Governors conduct themselves and go about their business in the Overseas Territories. I think we have (and I say this because it was commented on by Falkland Islands Representatives following a previous discussion in Consultative Councils) was a pretty open relationship and, I think a much more open relationship than in the past between the Governor in the Falkland Islands - I or predecessor - than would have been the case 5, 10 years ago. We have to trust each other and we have to be open with each other. And, that is the best way to do successful business in a partnership. There is always going to be the awkwardness, if you like, that a Governor is seen as (and he is) serving two masters - the master in the UK that is also the head of the Government in the territory concerned and therefore has to communicate that way, too and that's not a straight forward role to play. But an openness and a willingness to discuss openly the issues is the way that one must proceed. GB: You said there that in your experience in the Falklands it is a very open and relatively informal relationship. But there have been, perhaps, little suggestions recently that there is a slightly more paternal relationship developing, again, between the Foreign Office and the Falklands and perhaps one can blame that at the door of the Argentines who now refuse to liase with the Falkland Islanders themselves. Of course, there was an example of that recently with the agreement covering private aviation to the Falklands in which Falklands Legislators and Executive Councillors really had nothing to do with at all. So, is there not some fear, anyway, that the Islands in its relationship with the Government and the Foreign Office is moving back to the old days? DL: I would distinctly kind of hope not. And, I am pretty confident that, no, we are not moving back into some other pattern. The Agreement on Private Aviation is essentially kind of a tidying up of a situation, which removed the anomaly on the Argentine side but it doesn't mark any new policy development, if you like, in terms of advancing the general policy. But we will be open. We will discuss matters with Councillors in the way that has become customary. And, yes, there is obviously a difference in the attitude of the present Argentine Government towards how it conducts business and that's something we need to work on. GB: You led a session which is rather impressively entitled "Small Territories and Globalisation." It's probably not at the top of the agenda of most people in the Falklands but, what did that mean for you? DL: I think the importance of the internet would be one element. We had a presentation from Cable & Wireless. In fact, in general terms, their perception of the future and the relationship with the Overseas Territories because they are active in most of the Overseas Territories and they placed emphasis as a company on the importance of access to the internet and the impact that that can have on different sectors of the economy. From our point of view, I endorse that and express the hope that it would become easier for people in the Falkland Islands to have access to the internet and to overcome the particular band-with that we currently enjoy. We would like to see it expanded so that the speed of communication and access to the internet is faster. |
 By the Headteacher - Mrs Betty Joshua |
SCHOOL PAGE |
 www.ais.co.ac/school/ |
Children's Literacy outcomes.
Did you enjoy Middle One's delightful (but absurd and full of nonsense) poems
last week? I thought they were really good. Next week you can look forward to
reading Middle Two's short mythical stories and perhaps find answers to some
of the mysteries that have been puzzling you for a while!
The work mentioned is all part and parcel of what takes place in our class
Literacy sessions which form a vital part of the daily timetable. You will recall
that way back in 1998, a dedicated hour was introduced to the Primary timetable
and was based on a framework for teaching - the Literacy Strategy. The basic
aim of literacy is to unite the important skills of reading and writing.
'The Hour' continues to be a focused uninterrupted period of the day when teachers
and pupils share fiction and non-fiction texts and develop their enjoyment and
knowledge of a wide range of literature works.
Table chanting? Never!
Numeracy, like Literacy, provides us with life skills, too. Without basic Numeracy
skills, we would all be at a disadvantage.
So, in the same way we set aside an hour of each day for Literacy, we do the
same for Numeracy. Did you chant 'times tables'
at school?? Well, if you happen to walk into a class in this so-called 'modern
day', you are likely to hear children chanting tables
in a similar way, or playing a game of Fuzz Buzz with multiplication tables.
These are basic practical fun ways of learning those very important bonds for
effective computation, and they do work!
Heads down - it's exam time!
Starting this week, our students will start sitting their Standard Assessment
Tests (SATs) in the core subjects of English, Mathematics and Science. Why do
they sit these, you may well ask. Well, during May of each year, Years 2 (seven-year-olds),
Year 6 (eleven-year-olds) and Year 9 (fourteen-year--olds) sit national (British)
tests called SATs. These tests are designed to check that our children are making
progress and the levels prescribed are used as benchmarks to measure our children's
attainment and progress at the end of each key stage. The tests for Years 6
and 9 are sent to the UK to be externally marked,
so we are able to measure our outcomes against those of British schools.
Optional tests, designed for other year groups can be sat in the same core subjects and last year we introduced them to Years 3, 4 and 5. Starting this year, Years 7 and 8 will have a taste of optional tests, too.
SATs are an important milestone in school life. They give useful information
to us as teachers as well as to parents and education authorities. However,
it is important to get them in proportion. They are just one of the ways in
which our school works out how well our children are doing. They are not used
to add stress to our children's (and teachers') lives and in a lot of cases,
children
do enjoy a change of routine when they are taking place!! In our experience,
we have certainly seen a much more focused
attitude and approach by our pupils towards their work and greater involvement
in target setting on an individual basis.
So it can't be bad, can it!!
Moving up the school we have our Year 11s sitting General Certificate in Secondary
Education examinations (GCSEs). These exams come at the end of Key Stage 4 and
their final year of formal education at TBS! On Friday, 11 May, we will say
goodbye to Year 11 as they finish their last official day at school. We will
see them back in school, off and on, over the next few weeks when they return
for actual exam sittings and consultations with teachers as appropriate.
So, to all our pupils - good luck with your SATs or GCSEs and remember YOU CAN DO IT if you give your mind to the task in hand!
And on that note, it's goodbye for this time…..
Betty Joshua
Headteacher
Some pictures taken of Lower School and Middle Schooll for Room 785 on BFBS when they were at the Pierhead. BFPS requested that pupils from Two Boats School went down one afternoon so that they could have their picture taken by Ascension's web cam and get a mention on BFBS.
THE QUEEN WHO KEPT CHANGING HER MIND Due to the photographs not in readiness for the press I would just like to say THANK-YOU to the following people and the full story and photographs will follow in next weeks edition. All the backstage crew - Penny, Clare, Lisa, Patsy-Ann, Patsy, Pam, Jackie,
Olive, Iva, Bessie, Tessa, Julie & Natalie I got a strong feeling I have missed someone from the list above but anyway my heartfelt thanks to you all however big or small your help was. The amount raised was £100 for the raffle and £216 for the sale of tickets. This £316 will go towards our mini bus' maintenances, upkeep and insurance. The raffle winners on Friday evening of the Dolphin Plate - Mario Anthony The raffle winners on Saturday evening of the Dolphin Ornament - Tony
Richards, CSR Cheryl |
LETTERS| From the Editors:-
Melanie Flanagan & Diane King
Hi All, It is 00:45 hrs and yes we are still here at the Islander office. We thought we would have finished 3hrs ago. We've actually finished now after 'going it alone'. This weeks Islander has eventually seen the fraud squad investigating the alleged inconsistencies of Curnow Shipping financial activities. We would like to remind everone about the fast approaching ADF. Also in the Islander you'll see pictures of TBS lower school, at the pier head Web Cam, and they tread the boards for exactly 1 min on BFBS. We would like to thank the members of 9 Para Sqn, for their chrivaly shown on our descent from Cross Hill in 'Penny Peugeot' after doing a photo shoot for them (and they were all dressed in Combats - corrrrr!!). It was nice to know that they had every faith in my car to 'off-road it' to the point that they sped off and left us to defend for ourselves. Bye for now. ( that's if we're not sacked). Mariah & Liz.
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Dear friends, I have been collecting Ascension cards from the beginning, but one card has been elusive. It is the GPT complimentary card (1CAS A). Supposedly 100 or more cards were given away. Do you know of anyone who would be willing to part with this treasure for a good price? It is my hope that someone at C & W thought to put one or two cards aside. Please, I beg you to ask around on my behalf, maybe there are one or two collectors there?? Thanks Eric Schuenemann (Australia) Email: ezzacards@one.net.au My boyfriend Billy Hoffman has been working on Ascension for sometime now as a contractor. I have read your paper often to see what is going on around him. Sounds like there is a lot going on to keep him busy. I was wondering if there was anyway possible that I could have you print this letter so I can tell him that I LOVE HIM AND MISS HIM VERY MUCH. It will mean so much to me and would make his day. Thanks very much Stephanie Wilborn - Patrick AFB FL |
| Letters
to the Editor can be sent to editors@the-islander.org.ac |
I have started writing this 'piece of art' (you might want to strategically place an 'f' in that sentence after you have read it) on English Bay. For the first time since being on Island there isn't a cloud in the sky - could the departure of 'Green Onions' mean a vast improvement on our weather?
Anyway, I have been 'forced' out of my house due to the fact that two very nice men have come to decorate it. Much to the disgust of my sons who feel that their 'etching' and muddy footprints on the wall add to the character of their bedrooms. I would like to think I was going back to lovely pastel greens, blue and purples on my walls, but in my heart of hearts I know it will be good old magnolia!!
April 23 2001 marked the 30th birthday of Mark Handley. So this gives rise to our saying of the week:
'If only someone had told me that the body I loathed on my twenties would be the body I wistfully longed for in my thirties!!'
Now how true is that? Most of the last six months on Island I have spent in the gym attempting to regain my lost figure, and thanks to my faithful friend and colleague Diane, I have lost almost two stone to date. It seems that the disappearance of that two stone has magically appeared on my hubby who would like to think that he is the same weight now as he was twenty years ago!!
Friday saw 'us Two Boats lot' co-hosting a BBQ with Jordie (I like to drink too much) and Karen (I like to constantly wash up) Lawson at Turtle Shell Beach Hut. I didn't see much of Diane due to her youngest son making sure she did some circuit training that evening by having her chase him around the place. It could have possible been due to the large amount of Armarula that I drank. Ian drank lots of 'general anaesthetic' to stop his back from hurting while Laura managed to drink more Armarula than me. None the less, it was a good night with lots of beer and food.
I have today raised some serious doubts about my own sanity. After a hectic day running around both the Airhead and Georgetown, I found myself not only waving to but also shouting ' Good morning' to a donkey!! So I have to pose a question to my colleague:
'Why, after only a short period of time on Ascension, did I do this and even think that the donkey was ignorant in not responding to my kind greeting?'
I would appreciate no jibes or jokes - I know I made an 'ass' of myself!!
Until next time………………………..
Mel
P.S I would like to send my apologies to the poor snorkler who I wrongly thought was my 'diving buddy' and to whom I threw wild accusations at for swimming too close to me and placing a certain part of his body near my face!!
| Dear Colleague,
I answer to your distress call. I myself do question your sanity, but as your friend and colleague I am allowed to say that. You seemed to have been doing lots of Donkey work that morning and also thinking on the hoof for the next Islander edition. ( When we go it alone ). I'm sure it was the stress of it all which makes one do strange things. The lack of Amarula that weekend may also have played a big part in depleting the ole brain cells. I suggest Intravenous access of Amarula daily until this state of mind passes, although I did notice you brought 2 bottles of the milky medicine when you did your weekly shop. |
| Dear Liz & Mel, - Islander Agony Aunts,
Please can you help me… I am a desperate! I'm a 33 year old
man, and a lot of people tell me that I am quite good looking, but
my problem is this: Everytime that I become seriously involved with
a girl, I am dumped because of the smell when I take off my shoes.
I am currently seeing this really hot lady, and don't know what to
do, because she wants to go all the way & although my hormones
are eager, I'm embarrassed about my bad smelling feet. Also I have
been told by a few of her close friends that she is keen on toe-s*?x
(fetish). PLEASE HELP ME!!! I reply to the above question. Good looks are only skin deep and the root of your problem is obviously your feet. May I say that your lady may be too hot to handle(y) anyway as heat and feet do not mix and may make your problems worse. To treat your bad smelling feet - well - have your ever heard of soap and water? This does help immensely and also wearing open toe sandles letting the Ascension air filter around and through your tootsies. The fetish may have magical powers and solve the problem for you, therefore the relationship may survive. I can't emphasize enough the use of safe s*?x (freebies available at the hospital if you are too embarrassed to buy them with your weekly shop). A pack of 10 (one for each digit), then you maybe a 'fungi' to be with!! |
| Wanted Gemini fireman seeks single woman for friendship and cosy nights in with occasional dinning out. Looking for long term relationship to share his 48" chest, 34" waist and 5'11" height. Interested??? Then contact the Agony Aunts at the Islander Office with photograph. |
Hash Hare: Frank'n'FurterHash Hounds: A.Drain, The Major, Kum Soon, Yeti, Twin Peaks,
Butch, Fido, Fruit Bat, Eric.
With 3 'O' checks and 2 bar checks declared off we set across the road. Skating on loose gravel to get to the bottom of this hill and all fours were needed to get up the other side (where's Fido!). Thorn bushes were plentiful, and that's ok if you have long legs! First bar check, with the hash well hidden, scouting for hash in every direction before the on-on was once again declared. Some serious rock climbing and lots of skating on loose gravel. A statement from Yeti "more ups than downs", Just as you think its all over, up again. Our new boy drew first blood and not a scratch to be found on Fido for a change. Lots of huffing and puffing surely we should spot the home arrow soon. TP thinks that F'n'F is making the most of the fact that his aerobics classes have finished. With the cars in sight all thought a brisk run along the road was in order, no chance, the hash lay along the roadside and down again, sight of the home arrow at last and more skating and jumping over huge rock crevices. Homeward bound to much needed refreshments and the usual banter occurred over drinks.Next Week's Hash: Fido
Two Boats Football Field Hash Scribe: TP
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