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The Islander - Thursday 03rd May 2001


30 YEARS OLD

"The Islander" Newspaper reaches its Thirtieth Birthday

Conceived during a booze up in the now closed Exiles Club, "The Islander" was started by Tom Harman Smith on the 30th April 1971. With the words "it'll never last" ringing in his ears, the first trial issue, as seen on the front page of last weeks paper, hit the streets at the princely sum of 10p or 25c.

The paper has changed little over the years with the advent of computers and Xerography taking over from the typewriter and "banda machine". The most significant leap forward has been its publication on the Internet, meaning that the paper can now be seen world wide within days of it being published, as well as the live web camera on the pier head.

Most important of all though are the teams of volunteers who edit, print and collate the physical hard copy, and the Internet compilers who transfer the data to the World Wide Web.

However one theme has been consistent in "The Islander" - we can never get enough volunteers, for as soon as a new face appears, a familiar face will leave. We have vacancies for editors, printers, collators and Internet compilers, no experience necessary as full training will be provided.

Contact any of "The Islander" team or drop a line to the post box at the Administrators office with your contact details.

For a potted history of the Islander see inside for more details.



Father Keith Writes:

PARISH CHURCH OF ST MARY THE VIRGIN. 
ASCENSION ISLAND (Diocese of St. Helena)

Parish Priest: Fr. Keith James - +247 6431
Church Warden: Mervyn Isaacs
Church Warden: Cheryl Anthony

Dear Friends,

I suppose my favourite view on the whole Island is looking down from what used to be NASA Site towards Letterbox on South East Head

Whenever I'm taking visitors on a tour of the Island that's where I head for, and we walk those few extra steps to see the full splendour of the Devil's Ink Stain languidly running down into the sea. It's the colour that catches the eyes especially on a sunny day. Ginny and I have recently been going to art classes at the school. Both of us have messed about with paints and drawing a bit in the past, but never taken it at all seriously. But since we've been attending here we find that we actually look at things differently. What we used to look at and see as just bare grey rock is suddenly transformed, and if you look hard enough it is quite amazing how many different colours there are in almost anything you really look at. Of course painters have always known this. The last Art Exhibition I went to in the UK was by the artist Lucien Freud; his portraits contain just about all the colours you could think of, and then some. The skin of the faces of his subjects is a mass of different colour which produces just the right effect.

Last Sunday we heard in Church how Jesus asked his friend Peter not once, not twice, but three times "Do you love me? "Of course," said Peter the first time. By the third time of asking he is naturally more than a little irritated!.
What Jesus was really challenging him to do was to take a fresh look at himself.
To examine if you like the "colour" present in his love. To look beyond the surface to see what it was made up of, what was really there, and whether it was genuine.
Maybe we need to look at ourselves a little more closely from time to time to see what we are made of, to ask what others see when they look at us.

Or we might perhaps look for that splash of colour in what might seem a hum-drum job or a rather boring existence.
The bright colours are there if you look for them.
And if you want a bit of extra colour in your life this week why not go to the Pantomime?
Put a bit of sparkle into your life
Enjoy it!!

God Bless you and keep you,

Fr Keith & Ginny.



NOW WE ARE 30..............


"In this bar in March 1971, it was agreed that an Ascension Island Newspaper should be started. It was also said "Don't bother, because it will never continue when you leave".

So reads the small plaque in the corner of the bar of the old Exiles Club, which was placed there on the occasion of the 1000th issue back in 1990.

The founding editor was island dentist Mr. Tom Harman-Smith, (pictured right.)

On the occasion of the 500th issue back in December 1980, he wrote to The Islander, and said; "As Founder Editor I shall always remember that a major reason given to me for NOT starting it was that 'no-one will continue after you have gone'. For the 1000th edition, I shall fly out and distribute it personally."

He was reminded of this promise 10 years later by editor Molly Rideout, and true to his word, arrived on the island to deliver the 1000th issue to the shops!

BEFORE THE ISLANDER - A BRIEF HISTORY OF NEWSPAPERS ON ASCENSION ISLAND.....with thanks to Sue Edgar

The first newspaper published on Ascension Island was a single sheet called 'The 877 News". This appeared on the 21st of August 1942 and was described by the British Government Representative as; "A sheet of world news, articles and nonsense columns." This was edited by US Army Chaplain W.E.Capricorn, assisted by Mr M.M.Baker of the Red Cross. Published daily for the US troops, over 4000 copies were printed. The name was taken from the Army Post Office number for Ascension, still on the war-time secret list. The name obviously lacked a certain "pizzaz" on the newspaper stands, and a competition was launched to think of a better one. The prizes of a flash-light and 3 gallons of fresh water for a bath were offered to the winner. The paper was expanded to a double-sided sheet named 'The Wideawake News', but this was changed to 'The Daily News' on the insistence of the US censorship authorities. A few months later the paper was again renamed as 'Task', and had grown to some 8 pages with cartoons and news reports, both about island life and the wide world outside. By March 1944 it required the skill of 75 servicemen to produce each weekly issue.

After the war, the sound of pounding typewriters and the scratching of pens ceased. There were several attempts to produce a newspaper when the island was again invaded in the 1960s. Appearing at irregular intervals, The Klinka Times was a fairly scurrilous rag full of innuendoes, which only made sense to those with an ear for scandal. This said, it prepared the ground for the next paper.

The Islander was the brainchild of the dentist, Tom Harman-Smith. The first issue of The Islander appeared on Ascension on the 30th of April 1971. It was produced using the Cable & Wireless facilities by kind permission of the General Manager, Basil Leighton. The project nearly sank without trace when the Cable & Wireless Head Office mandarins had cold feet about allowing people to print a newspaper on their equipment, which might be used to criticise The Administrator, or (perish the thought) Cable & Wireless. The second issue was postponed until these difficulties were overcome.

On the occasion of the publication of the 1000th issue of The Islander on the 2nd of November 1990, the Administrator of the day, His Honour J.J. Beale wrote;

"Why has The Islander survived? Because it fulfils a need. What is that? To be a shop window where people can seek public support for ideas and events, where they can advertise their chattels and their opinions, and where our own local news can be circulated and recorded in a lapidary style.......Communications are important. World news is brought to us by the BBC - newspapers are imported for us by AIS - gossip spreads fast by word of mouth, feeding on itself, often to the discomfiture of those concerned - but The Islander, a community newspaper produced by the voluntary efforts of so many over so many years, fills what would otherwise be a gap and has tried to serve our local needs from the days of it's origins.

HERE'S TO THE NEXT THOUSAND ISSUES!"


IN THE BEGINNING In issue no. 45 of 1972, Mary Stebbings recalled the night it all started.

"I think the island needs a newspaper", said Tom, and being well fed-up and agreeably drunk, I offered to assist with any typing. One week later, on Wednesday 3rd of March, a group of seven met at Tom's house - John Clouse, then Head of Bendix, Sue Mortimer, Frank Byford, Tom's wife Carol, Mary McMahon and myself.

Almost the first thing we decided on was the name of the paper - in fact I think that was the only decision of the evening, but somehow it made it seem more real. I had also risen from typist to sub-editor, though with little idea of what this actually entailed. That first evening we discussed possibly office sites, (could we take over the Administrator's Board Room?), the sort of equipment we would need and how to get it (write to the Daily Mirror for a second-hand printing press?), and the frequency of publication, weekly, fortnightly or monthly? (Tom wanted a weekly, the rest of us inclined to less frequent issues.) We all left with a list of questions, the answers to be found by the next meeting - how much equipment would cost; who else could be conned into joining us; where the office could be; what sort of equipment existed on the island, and so on.

By the next meeting, at the end of the month, an impressive looking list of Editors was produced for News, Sport, Features, Children's Page, etc. and I found myself further promoted to Assistant Features Editor. Some sort of pattern was beginning to emerge, and by the next meeting we had decided that the obvious course was to produce a trial issue, for which Cable and Wireless had kindly agreed to lend equipment and paper, and to see the reaction from the island.

That's history now, and after an intensive fund-raising campaign which included a fish-fry at PanAm Beach, a tremendous record marathon broadcast from Volcano Radio, and many individual donations (both private and from organisations), issue no. 2 appeared on Friday, 2nd July, produced in an office kindly provided by the Base Authorities. Not a week had been missed since then, and The Islander is now established as part of the life on Ascension."


"THAT LETTER"

The Islander has always been (and still is) happy to receive and print letters. The identity of the author can even be withheld, provided that the name and address is supplied to the editor. One such letter was received in 1975, which caused a huge reaction, and too many replies to print. In fact, its publication almost led to the closure of the paper. We won't reprint the letter here - it caused enough trouble last time; if you want to see a copy, it forms part of the Islander commemorative display in the Georgetown Gallery, which opens on Saturday the 5th of May. You can judge its contents by the reaction of the then-Administrator H.H. Geoffrey Guy, who wrote a letter to the paper the following week;

"There has been widespread concern and indignation amongst both the British and American communities on Ascension over the anonymous letter published in the last issue of The Islander. No-one who attempts to create disharmony between the American, British or St. Helenian communities on Ascension is a welcome member of any community here and I am to advise that the publication of this anonymous letter may lead to the prosecution of both the publisher and the author under the Race Relations Act....... The Islander performs a most valuable service to the entire community, on whose support it depends and which I do very much hope it will do nothing to forfeit."

Yours faithfully,
G.C. Guy, Administrator.


Tug: Men Missing Mystery.

Back in October 1974, Ascension was involved in a rescue operation.
"On Saturday, news came through that an ocean going tug - 'El Cabalo Grande' - was in trouble somewhere close to the island. It was reported that two of the tug's crew, the Captain and the First Mate, had gone missing, presumably lost overboard. The remaining crew members were unable to navigate the boat and requested assistance to help them get to Ascension.

The crew of the tug gave their position as being south west of the island. This proved to be incorrect as there had been no sun or star 'fixes' taken for three days due to cloud cover." Accordingly the aircraft that was searching, for the boat, was looking in the wrong place. It took 3 days to locate the vessel and talk them in to Ascension.

This incident was a major scoop for The Islander, and was later investigated by the F.B.I. who had suspicions about the assertions of the crew that the Captain and the First Mate were simply "washed overboard."


"Wanted - One Editor, Dead (drunk) or alive"

So the headline rang out in August 1974. One of the recurring themes of The Islander is the frantic search for new editors each time someone leaves the island. Below we print the names of all of the editors against the year when they first answered the call! As ever, we are still looking for editors - if interested in joining the team, then phone Ian Andrews on 6301 (h) or 4622 (w).


1971 Tom Harman-Smith 1982 Dave Honeyball
Christine Watkins
1995 Kate Abbott
1972 Ronald A Malin 1983 Ruth Dryden
Kyla Turton
1996 Phil Brooks
Catherine Thomas
1973 Peter Stebbings 1984 Judith Howard
Sue Bell
Terry Blackband
Norma Mebus
1997 Debbie Morris Stephen Fowler Caroline Parker
1974 Roger Woolven-Allen
Peter Lee
1985 Rick Burns
Dave Parsons
Joe Phillips
Dave Hitch
Tony Dawe
Alan Kimber
Jacqui Murdoch
1998 Tony Jenkins
Bill Cooper
Kate Hayward
1976 Rose Waddy
John Hudspeth
Ken Pickup
1986 Keith Sedgwick
Fiona Ratcliff
Sue Edgar
1999 Penny Peters
Adrian Fowler
Ian Andrews
Priya Sukhtankar
Caz Burns
Dean Collis
Karen Green
1977 Christine Watkins
Chris Royal
Linda Gibson
Glynis Harper
1987 Siobhan Creighton 2000 Philip Stevens
Sharon Andrews
1978 Len Thomas
Pati Higgins
Bill Walker
Nick Crispin
Irene Cox
1988 Barbara Boughen 2001 Adam Henshaw
Julia Henshaw
Mel Flanagan
Diane King
1979 Macy Guppy
Peter Field
Lyn Demille
Margaret Higgins
Mike Higgins
Vera Keohane
1989 Chad Huntley
Ann Whitla
   
1980 S. Milburne
M. Payne
D.L. Stemp
R. Whitla
D. Mills
1990 Kate Carpenter
Molly Rideout
Brenda Satherley
Vicky Steadman
Beryl Fleet
Sue Grey
   
1981 J.Brunton
B. Daly
S. Newman
Jean Shacklady
1991 Fr Nicholas Turner
Sheila Hobbs
   
    1994 Debbie Butler
Kitty George
   

 


LETTERS

From the Editors:- Ian Andrews

Thirty Glorious Years Happy birthday to The Islander newspaper. Thirty years old this week and still going strong.

However we will still need volunteers to fill the gaps that our transient population produces. A quick glance at the list of editors in the article shows how many we can go through.

Indeed out of the current five teams, (myself, Penny Peters and Adrian Fowler, Tony Jenkins and Philip Stevens, Adam and Julia Henshaw, and yet to edit solo Mel Flanagan and Diane King), three teams will no longer be doing the Islander after the summer (if not sooner in some cases).

So please if you fancy having a go get in touch and we will give you a free, no obligation, try before you buy go at editing the paper.

I think that's all for now.

Ian Andrews

 

 

 

 

Letters to the Editor can be sent to
editors@the-islander.org.ac



To All Islander Readers/Helpers Past and Present

And they said it wouldn't last.........30 years after Tom Harman-Smith stood by the corner of the Exiles Club bar and came up with the bright idea of an Ascension Island Newspaper and against all the odds the Islander is celebrating another birthday.

Things on Ascension have changed beyond virtually all recognition since that first issue in 1971. The Falkland's War brought Traveller's Hill Camp and the RAF, PSA ended and AIS was formed and dis-banded, Turner's pulled out of Two Boats signalling an end to the Ocean View Club, CSO closed then opened again but the Senior Mess bar eventually had to admit defeat, Two Boats shop closed, the Exiles Club closed, the Farm closed and the Governor's Lodge was burnt down - but still they were happy times!!

At such a time of change as we have now on Ascension with a new Government and the promise of democracy next year, the role of the Islander Newspaper will become even more vital in ensuring that the people of Ascension have a forum for discussion and dissemination of information. Challenging times ahead for our brave editors. 30 years is a long time to be in business and the production of the Islander over this time has involved a cast worthy of a Hollywood epic production. It would be impossible to name everyone but from all of the current Islander Team to all of those who have given time to print, collate, edit, deliver, take photos for or just buy the paper, thanks a million and here's to the next 30.

Best regards and happy reading

Caz Yon
Chairperson


 

From: Catherine Thomas - ex Islander Editor

Dear Editors,

I thought I would send you a few lines on the occasion of the Islander's 30th Anniversary. Within a couple of days of arriving on the island in 1995 I joined the Islander team as a collator. I was soon 'promoted' to distributor, delivering the paper to the shops, clubs and messes - a great way to get to know people.

I took over from Sue Edgar as editor in September 1996. Sue and I produced two or three issues together before she left and then I was on my own. It was a pretty daunting prospect. I had hardly ever used a computer before I started, but, like many editors before and after me, somehow I muddled through. I was editor until August 1997 when I left the Island and Debbie Morris moved into the editor's chair.

One of the first stories I covered was the opening of the wind farm on Donkey Plain. Other notable events included the arrival at the Airhead of an enormous Antonov aircraft en route to the Falklands in January 1997 and the visit of the Endeavour Replica the following month. Every so often, usually just as I sat down to a meal or stepped into the shower, I would be summoned to the pierhead to photograph a record breaking tuna or shark and on one occasion a sail fish. I'm not complaining - our freezer was always full of delicious tuna in those days.

I loved meeting all the new babies and I enjoyed covering the Island's weddings; but when I started we only had a Polaroid camera and couldn't always get in-date film for it. My dread was that I wouldn't get even one useable photo of someone's Big Day. The Islander's first digital camera was bought at my husband Colin's suggestion. He'd had enough of all the tension and trauma!

It is not that long ago that I was editing the Islander, but at the time I never imagined that within a few years I would be able to sit at my computer in Wales and read the highlights of the latest edition. Some things never seem to change though and I notice that the editors still have to remind people to inform the Islander about what is happening on Ascension. Also there is still that deadline to be met, which means it is time for me to draw to a close and email this.

I hope 'The Islander Team' has a great celebration - you deserve it.

Here's to the next 30 years.

Best Wishes,

Catherine


Wedding on Ascension

Pictured are Lesley Green and Jim Woodward from the Falklands married at the Residency on Saturday 21 April 2001

Jim is a teacher in one of the remote settlements of West Falklands, and no stranger to Ascension having holidayed here several times

Many Congratulations to them both

Geoffrey Fairhurst
Administrator




The Met Office Weather Report

Statistics for the week ending Monday 30th April 2001.

  Max (deg C) Min (deg C) Rainfall (mm)
AIRHEAD 30.6 24.4 0.1
TRAVELLERS 29.0 23.6 1.0
RESIDENCY 28.0 19.3 2.5
GEORGETOWN 32.5 25.0 0.5
ST. HELENA 23.3 16.4 36.4
FALKLANDS 12.1 -1.4 28.6
BRIZE NORTON 15.4 3.3 19.4

 

ASCENSION SEA SWELL FORECAST:
Generally southerly at around 1.0 - 1.5 metres.

Sea temperature around Ascension Island:
27.0ºC.

ASCENSION ISLAND:
Sunny intervals, isolated showers and with a gusty wind.

UK:
Another cool week with a chilly northerly breeze for the first half, becoming milder but showery during the second half of the week with the odd rumble of thunder

FALKLAND ISLANDS:
It's been a fairly quiet week with reasonably light winds apart from a stormy day on Thursday giving cold conditions on Friday.

“METCHAT” ************************ “METCHAT” ************************ “METCHAT” ************************ “METCHAT” *************************

Ian Lisk has left the building, and handed over responsibility of Metchat so without further ado, we welcome Judith to the team and she has a week to think up a nickname/alter ego.

Quite a lot to report on in only a 7 days, for example the missing million$, a novel idea on how to celebrate the opening of the new cold store and a worrying case of anti-environmentalism.

We are getting our white landrover fixed up at the moment and there have been contributions from staff, both past and present so there was a sum set aside for repairs and maintenance. Everyone knew this slush fund existed but when quizzed, Caveman couldn't remember where it was kept and no one else knew it's whereabouts either, so it went missing for all of 48 hours. There was talk of Ascension taking on the mantle of an offshore banking haven, a place so secure for money laundering, even the rightful owners of their cash couldn't find it. Interpol and the Revenue would have no chance. Suffice to say all is now well with the mystery solved and Inspector Cluseau can rest easy in retirement.

There were a few worried faces during happy hour at the mess recently when none of the Met Office actually showed up - happy hour of course being almost a hallowed ritual for us. Nervous glances were exchanged at the bar; did we know something they didn't ? Was the Island about to blow? A Typhoon coming in suddenly perhaps, or were we just lightweights now the old boys had gone? Some were so concerned that they were compelled to comment when we arrived at dinner, with MT Man the most vocal. Well I can put everyone's mind at rest, we didn't actually miss happy hour, we just re-located it to the golf club with Nick and I merrily running up Gary's bar tab from 5pm onwards. It was happy hour after all !

Later that same evening, we ended up cleaning out the old barbecue outside our basha and had a good fire going which sterilised the grill. You may well wonder why we came all the way to Ascension, with night time temperatures of 25C, just to sit in front of a fire. I did too but it was surprisingly relaxing, just like going to the beach and listening to the waves. Nick did a good job at keeping the flames going but he became a man possessed when he discovered that palm trees provide an easy source of fuel around their base. It was all could do to stop him actually damaging the tree and I had to lecture him on the folly of non renewable energy sources, global warming etc etc, but to no avail. He even had a go at one of the branches when I wasn't looking and now has the cheek to resent his new nickname - Eco Vandal. We eventually tried cooking on the barby but at such short notice, the best we could get at the local delicatessen were some "Big Value Hot Dogs" in brine. For big value read high fat and sawdust content, but we survived with no ill effects so far.

Some proper food on Wednesday with an Indonesian night at Reflections in Georgetown, now that was big value and very tasty too. Our supplies guru Nigel had a furrowed brow however when someone suggested christening the new cold store by holding a barbecue inside it. By this stage the cocktails were taking effect and no one was making much sense. It was the start of an active social whirl with a race night at the MVC on Thursday and then quiz night in the mess on Friday followed by karaoke at the MVC. Our quiz team "Nightmare on Nurofen" (given the presence of the medics) came runner up by ½ a point, sickening some and amusing others. The boys from the Maersk were there too so it was good to repay some of their hospitality of last week. We will draw a discrete veil over our karaoke exploits at the MVC but it was good fun too. It is a mystery how we cram so much in and provide such a top notch service at work, but we manage somehow. Any suggestions on a pseudonym for Judith will be most welcome too, but keep them clean please. That's all for this week, over to Judith then for the next installment.


 

9 Parachute Squadron
RERhine Barracks
ALDERSHOT
Hampshire GU11 2AX
Aldershot Military Extension: (9)4222 4223
Civil: 01252 349223
Fax Number: (01252) 349283

Editor
Ascension Island Newspaper

Reference: N/A23

Date: Apr 01

BRITISH AIRBORNE ENGINEER DIVERS AT WORK ON ASCENSION ISLAND

A team of 14 Royal Engineer Divers from 9 Parachute Squadron RE has just arrived in Ascension Island. They will be undertaking a number of diving tasks around the island for the following two weeks. They will be working principally in the Georgetown and English Bay areas. Much of the work they will be undertaking will be underwater survey work around the pierhead in Georgetown and English Bay to provide information for the planning of improvement works to the harbour and beach facilities. However they will also be marking safe swimming areas off Comfortless Cove and English Bay to improve safety for recreational swimmers in these areas.

However to give you a little background to 9 Parachute Squadron and its Diving Team. 9 Parachute Squadron was formed in 1946 from a post war amalgamation of all the British Airborne Engineer Squadrons. Since then the Squadron, consisting of approximately 150 men, has been the only airborne Royal Engineer unit in the British Army. Following the Second World War the Squadron has seen service in almost every conflict involving Britain, including the Falklands War of 1982. Most recently, the Squadron spearheaded the NATO push into Kosovo in early June 1999 and spent much of last year serving in Northern Ireland.

Every soldier in 9 Parachute Squadron has to complete P Company (the selection course for British Airborne Forces) and the Basic Parachute Course before he can join the unit. Thereafter only the most committed and skilled soldiers are permitted to undertake the Royal Engineers Diver Course, which lasts a further 6 weeks and will allow the soldier to join the Squadron's Diving Team.

Members of the Diving Team look forward to meeting you as they travel around the island on their tasks. Do feel free to buy them a beer if the opportunity arises!!


 

LOST FOR WORDS

The 1st Ascension Island Cub Scouts would like to gratefully thank the generosity of the following personnel/groups/community

THE FAT BOYS SLIM
MR ROGER TULIP (SATEC) AND MR JAMIE THOMSON (TURNERS). As you all will know, its hard to lose weight, these two GIANTS not only lost 1½ stone in 8 weeks but also raised a massive £710.83p. Roger, Jamie and all that donated moneys, THANK YOU.

MRS DEBORAH THOMAS
For organising and running the cubs sponsored skittle's match, which amassed a huge £391.06. Debbie, those who turned up on the night and all those who dug deep, THANK YOU.

JRC COMMITTEE
To Cpl DONNA TRENHOLME and all JRC members who donated £28.70 towards the cubs funds from their many quiz night's, THANK YOU.

UKMAMS
A big THANK YOU to the first UKMAMS section on the Island for their generous donation of £88.83 raised during a recent horseracing night, THANK YOU.

SPECIAL THANKS
Go to the Scouts, for the fabulous Easter break camping night and their continued support of the cubs.

FINALLY
In SEPT 2000 the Cub's funds were a lowly £160.34p, now it has swollen to a massive £1850.43 (once last 2 donations are received and paid into the bank). The aim of the Leaders is to add their share to a desperately needed vehicle for the Scouts movement and with your continued support we would like to make that aim a reality.

Many thanks to everyone

Yours in scouting

Mal, Karen, Ian, Ali, Kim, Alex, Andreas, Corrie, Jaylee, Jerrylee, Lesley-Ann, Michael, Stephen, Shane, Shaun, Ricco and Richard.




By the Headteacher -
Mrs Betty Joshua

SCHOOL PAGE


www.ais.co.ac/school/

Some Pictures from the School's Swimming Gala 2001



Hash Trash

 

SPECIAL HASH TRASH

Hash #849

21 April 01

Hash Hares: The Major, Ivor the Engine, Morticia, The Vamp, HKP, A-Drain, Rat Boy, Frank-N-Furter, Limp Sausage

Hash Hounds: Skipper, A-Drain, Pants, F-N-F, Miss Trunchbull, Fido, Limp Sausage, Twin Peaks, The Major, Rat Boy, Ivor, Thunderthighs, Crystal Tips, Beany Baby, HKP, Morticia, The Vamp, Soon Come, Johnnie, Bob, Bud, Paddy

Hash Helpers: Roly Poly, Chef Rumblebelly, Yeti Confucius say, "He who hash, have no common sense.

"And as the wise K'ung-Fu-tzu has said, all common sense was left behind (as if any of us started with any). Today's hash starts at the NASA site at 12noon. YES, at noon and the pack is STILL eager to run. With the group gathered, photos were taken to aid in body recovery and identification. The first of many on-on's is sounded and off we go. Thru brambles and thorns and over crab traps the pack bounds with hours and miles to cover before the end is near. Bar checks bring confusion as some go their own direction. The Major is heard giving directions of "Go this way. No, this way." Our four-legged Divining Rod gets lost and Chief Bald Eagle is seen and heard shouting for this wayward hasher. An 'O' check brings all back together and our blonde friend is seen dripping from his find. Down into the Pines where the first section of today's madness is completed.

Miss Trunchbull finds some sense and departs muttering something about crazy people and strange planet. "?" After some needed liquid and minor rest, the second adventure is about to begin. The on-on is given and up-up we go. And up. And up. AND MORE UP !! Finally, we reach a flat area to rest and Soon Come states he will be staying right where he is and hides himself in the tall grasses. More up to the old catchment basin to find buffalo land mines.(It is here Rat Boy improves his footwear with one of these mines ) Around the catchment and down the farm road to the car park where round two ends. A group of Mud Men trudge thru and give US a strange look.(doesn't the RAF believe in soap?) More hashers arrive and some just disrobe. After more liquid is consumed and the hazards for part three are stated, the on-on is sounded and away we go. Around Garden Cottage and along the path for a bit until it got boring. Then the hares for this section decide to venture off the beaten path and head down. Oh what fun this is skiing along to find Twin Peaks parked in the trail with no indicators or parking lights. (WOMEN DRIVERS!) After the jam is dislodged, down some more. Rat Boy and Morticia try a new technique of joined rolling. This amuses Soon Come to the point of sliding on his own. Fido also shows off some Olympic skills with a new event of Horizontal Running. One of the newbees(we'll call him Fruit Bat ) wanders around aimlessly in the shadows mumbling "Can't see in the dark." Down to the base of Monkey Rock where grumbles of "Why are we doing this?" and "Who's idea was this?" With no reply, the pack continues on to Dampier's Flat. Around and around and down and down we go with some sheep chasing and rock hopping thrown in for pleasure.

A relief to see the ice chest at Butt Crater generator building. A few worn out old hashers take their leave as Roly Poly's Hash Taxi Service arrives. Part four gears up with the hares issuing the hazards and problems. Thru the dust and prickles to an old wally(Crab Valley) for a bouncing good time. An 'O' check at a red marker gives some a beautiful view of the large puddle. On-on over some lava flows and loose rock slows all but a few hardy ones to a mere trot. Fido's dress code with socks pocking thru trainers puzzles some. Over a ridge to see a sight for sore eyes, legs, feet, back and a few other parts; a Rover. As the fires are lit and foods are being prepared by renowned Chef Rumblebelly, the first of the survivors of today's event stumble in. Fido takes a nap, F-N-F wants to continue, The Vamp and Divining Rod test the water for coolness, and all others begin to rehydrate.

Phooey mans the bar, Ivor takes control of the kitchen, and the party gets started. Some leave to remove bits and pieces of Ascension from their bodies. Others just stay and eat and drink. The food starts to filter in and continues late into the evening. A hearty thanks to Roly Poly for the Hash Taxi Service at each stop. A second thanks to Chef Rumblebelly for his cooking talents. Also to all who helped with the day's event. All went well and fun was had by all. A truly sick bunch !!!

Next week's hares: The Major and Soon Come from Sugar Lumps.

Hash Scribe - Hong Kong Phooey


 

Hash number: 850

29th April 2001

Hash Hares: The Major & Kum Soon

Hash Hounds: A-Drain, Twin Peaks, Penguin, Fido, Frank-N-Furter, Bud Morticia, Ivor the Engine, Butch

As this was his first time to lay the Hash it was generally decided to wait for Kum Soon (appropriately named) who eventually arrived.

Only those who could still move limbs were present for today's hash! The sight of the monstrous hill infront bought back quite painful memories for some. The on-on was declared and off all set towards Bullocks Pond. A-Drain filled in the little book upon arrival at the Letter Box, and the only way was up (again) once up on top fields of green grass, a sight we are not normally used to here on Ascension, it almost made one want to Yodel. Down to refreshment and eats. Upon sight of Fido's legs, it was agreed not to follow behind Fido in future hashes as he only leaves a trail of destruction behind him. And where was HKP? - Absent due to heart ache (which kind) or was it because he was cooking for 18 that very night, I can now report that he excelled himself in the cooking department. Although I wasn't actually present, a little birdie told me that some of the Hashers couldn't quite make it past Two Boats Club without popping in for one or more liquid refreshments, nice one boys. Good Hash Kum Soon.

Next weeks hash: Frank-N-Furter from Devils Riding School

Hash Scribe: TP



Golf News - From One Boat Golf Club

On Sunday 29th April 2001, 58 players turned out to play in the President's Cup, this was a two team Texas Scramble (stapleford) played over 18 holes. The weather was hot and sticky but this did not deter play for some teams as we had some excellent scores for the day.

There were a number of prizes awarded and in the ladies categories we had: -

Longest drive on 18th hole - Christine Scipio
Nearest pin on 6th hole - Kathleen Stevens

Gents:-
Longest drive on 18th hole - Math Thomas
Nearest Pin on 16th hole - Lawson Henry

Two ball winners were: - Pam Henry & Norman Thomas Ian Thomas & Melvyn Moyce Fiona Bennett & Eric Crowie Kathleen Stevens & Lawson Henry

For the stapleford and in third place on 43 points were Betty & Richard Joshua, also Pam Henry & Norman Thomas. In second place also on 43 points and after countback were Julie Anthony and James Bennett. (Apologies to Julie and Jimmy for recording their final score incorrectly).

In first place on their own with a very good 45 points were Martin Joshua and Andrew Bennett. Congratulations to all the winners.

We enjoyed a very good barbecue lunch provided by the President Mr George (Dover) Thomas, which was cooked by Fred Kenny. Thank you George for a very enjoyable President's Day.

The next competition will be the monthly medal which will be on Sunday 6th May, starting at 8.30am, please sign list on Noticeboard.

Lawson Henry
Captain



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