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The Islander - Thursday 15^th April 1999

VICTORY FOR GEORGETOWN UTD!

Congratulations to 'GEORGETOWN UTD' who won the Knockout Final on Saturday, also to 'TRAVELLERS' who put up a great challenge. Unfortunately there can be only one winner. Thank you to both teams who gave a riveting performance which had the spectators on tender hooks or at least on the edge of their seats! To find out more, full story inside.....

Winners! - Georgetown football team.

CHRISTENING OF BABY COURTNEY

Sunday 11th April, saw a special event for the Nicholls family - the Christening of their daughter Courtney Paige at St. Mary's Church. The christening was conducted by Fr. Keith James and Courtney's godparents are Jean Fowler, Carolyn Nicholls and Eric Joshua. The service was followed by a luncheon at Two Boats Club where family and friends gathered to celebrate Courtney's christening. The food was provided by Donald Arms and his staff who put on an excellent spread, which was enjoyed by all.

The Nicholls Family

Baby Courtney

LETTERS

The Maersks at Clarence Bay.

The Maersk Ascension carrying out her last cargo operation. Transferring all the remaining fuel to the Maersk Gannet who has just returned from the Falklands. As well as fuel being transferred, are stores necessary to sustain the Gannet for her tour as BST or Base Support Tanker.

Maersk Gannet & Maersk Ascension

The Maersk Ascension will leave the Island for the last time this weekend, she will go round the Island (sorry no passengers) and then on to an at present unknown destination. Once again from The Captain and crew of the Maersk Ascension thankyou and a fond farewell.

Captain Neil. Lovesy
Maersk Ascension

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BON VOYAGE..........

On behalf of Ascension Island Services and especially the Marine Section I would like to wish Capt. Neil Lovesey and his crew aboard the "Maersk Ascension" BON VOYAGE and best wishes for the future.

Saints back home have also been privileged to see your ship gracefully anchored in Jame's Bay. We thank you for the great support you have given us over the years and we look forward to experiencing the same working relationship with the "Maersk Gannet"

Cedric Henry - Marine & Operations

SCHOOL NEWS
From the Headteacher - Mrs Betty Joshua

 

Hello everyone!

This week's news focuses on one of the fun events that took place on Monday, 12 April at the Georgetown Swimming Pool. Other events to follow this week are the post Easter Fete on Wednesday afternoon at 1.15pm in the School Hall and the Swim Gala on Friday at 9.30 am at Travellers Pool. We look forward to your support. At the end of all of this we take a well-earned rest and enjoy a holiday break until May 3 (In-service Day for teachers) and we see our pupils back in the classroom the next day (Tuesday, 4 May).

SPLASH GALA This happy event certainly went with a splash and our Lower School children (5-7 year-olds) did very well indeed. They braved the depths and swam widths and relays, did pencil jumps, went water shopping for fruit and pies and generally had a really good time. They were delightful to watch and their enthusiasm was infectious, to the extent that the adults ended the event with a shuttle race (or was that the infectious announcer's doings!).
	Supportive parents and friends clapped and cheered along with Middle School pupils who were having a rest then, but I'm sure were thinking ahead to their turn on Friday morning when they compete at Travellers Pool with the secondary pupils. So, all in all, a very good morning, but of course an event like this needs preparation and organisation and these things cannot be done without people. Therefore, a few thank yous are in order. To begin with we thank the children themselves who, with their teachers and parent helpers, have been practising for the event, and did a really magnificent job. Well done children.
	Planning the programme had not been easy with a number of children going on leaving gaps in House teams. However, it all happened eventually and with the weather at its best, we thank the teachers for their organisation of the day.
Drawing on willing people within the community brings a shared element to any school occasion and we thank parents Cheryl Anthony, Debbie and Nathan Prince, Natasha Stroud, Stella Burke and Olive Green for their input; to Niddy Huxley (who usually makes it quite obvious which House she supports!) for helping generally as well as presenting the ribbons and cup; to Johnny (the man with the golden voice and excellent pool-side manner - not all of the adults would agree with the latter!) for announcing and creating the right kind of atmosphere; to Rob, the PTI for being our life guard and race starter; to Roger Huxley, the Administrator, for coming along and supporting us and rendering a few words at what was, sadly, a last Splash Gala on this fair island for himself and Niddy.	Charlotte Prince demonstrates her "pencil dive"
	Thank you all for your support and to those who took time out from home or work to spectate and cheer on our little ones. Nathan was there clicking away, so do enjoy the photographs that accompany the write-up. Next week's page will have details of the winners of individual and team races from both the Splash and Swim Galas. And on a final note, CONGRATULATIONS to the winning Splash Gala House for 1999 ………HUXLEY!! We will soon have your House name carved on the Hewat Splash Gala Shield.

And that's it for this time!

Betty Joshua
Headteacher.

Father Keith Writes:

PARISH CHURCH OF ST MARY THE VIRGIN.  ASCENSION ISLAND (Diocese of St. Helena) Parish Priest: Fr. Keith James - 6431 Church Warden: Marvyn Isaacs Church Warden: Cheryl Anthony

Dear Friends,

‘He’s got a little list, he’s got a little list’
I don’t know weather Gilbert & Sultan operettas ever made it to Ascension Island, but some of you may remember those words from The Mikado. I believe it was The Lord High Executioner who had the list, so beware anyone who was on it!!
I’ve got a little list.
In fact I’ve got several, because clergymen are sent little lists by all sorts of groups and bodies. Lists of people or places to pray for. I have one for all the RAF Padres, another covering the Anglican Communion - all the churches affiliated to the Church of England throughout the world, listing all the Bishops and their people.
But now I’ve got my own special ‘little list’. You may have seen a copy on your notice board at work. The Ascension Island Prayer List is intended to cover all the various organisations and activities that go on on the island. The idea is that each week a different part of island life and all the people connected with it are remembered before God, first at our Sunday morning service and then throughout the week at Morning Prayer at 08:30am.
This means that every person on Ascension is included; the list covers 13 weeks and so the cycle will be repeated four times a year.
Last week we prayed for The Administrator and his staff, the Police, the Bank and Post Office. Working Alphabetically we move on this week to AIS and all its various branches, including the Hospital and Dental Surgery.

If you would like your own copy of the list so that you can join me in these prayers please phone me at the Vicarage.

ROMAN CATHOLIC SERVICE AT THE GROTTO, OUR LADY OF ASCENSION
Sunday at 7 pm.

God Bless You and Keep You,
Fr Keith & Ginny.

NEWS FROM ASCENSION AUXILIARY AIRFIELD By Maj Jeff Lowdermilk

The vehicle paint booth project on the base is back on track and progressing well. This new facility will be located behind the motorpool and government vehicle gas pumps. All concrete pads have been poured, the steel structure has been erected, and metal sheeting is being applied to the structure. There remains quite a bit of structural and electrical work, but we are hopeful this facility will be completed and operational by the end of June 99.

We are experiencing our busiest month since I have been assigned in supporting aircraft operations. There are two US missions on-going in Africa: Phoenix Giraffe and Exercise Blue Crane. During the month, you will note a number of C-5 Galaxy, C-141 Starlifter, and C-130 Hercules aircraft transitioning through Wideawake Field. Last week, you may have noted a couple of C-5 aircraft broke. One broke and was repaired for a leaking flight control actuator. A second C-5 was broken and repaired when it was discovered an engine fire bottle's nitrogen propellant had been depleted. Once aircrews and passengers unexpectantly stay on the base, we immediately give them a safety briefing applicable to the island. This safety briefing covers driving regulations and road safety, acceptable swimming areas, hiking and turtle viewing tips, fishing safety, sun protection, water and power conservation, and rules governing found artifacts.

The softball standings on the base are as follows:

Georgetown	2-0	Dodgers	1-2
Fire/Security	2-0	SerCo	1-2
Admin	3-1	Airheads	1-3
Bad Boyz	2-1	Hot Shots	0-3

Hopefully, after a busy week of supporting launch operations we can get back on track with scheduled games. However, I hesitate to publish a schedule since there are many other launch operations scheduled for April. If you have questions about games, please contact your coach or Mr Melvin Moyce at extension 2234.

Lastly, I would like to express the United States Air Force's condolences to the friends and family of Mr Raymond "Beano" Young. We pride ourselves on being a formidable power and leader in space operations. Beano was certainly a cornerstone in our efforts for many years, and his hard work and dedication were key to the United States achieving this status. I have heard so many great things about this man that I truly feel envious that I did not know him as well as most of you on the island did. I spoke with Mr Roy Williams about Beano and he told me of his love for fishing, travelling, and all sports. Roy said he will always be remembered for throwing clubs and other antics after making a bad shot on the golf course. Roy continued that Beano was dedicated to his job and had been with the US Base since his teens. He was a cornerstone in all stevedoring operations and is sorely missed there. I think Roy and Beano best sum up this great man. Roy said, "We have lost a dear friend and fellow worker who spent most of his life on Ascension with many of us. He will be greatly missed and will always be a part of our thoughts and conversations." The last thing Roy told me was a phrase Beano always uttered, "I was born a young and will die a young." God bless Beano!

Major Jeff Lowdermilk

 

THE ASCENSION GUIDE TO DINING OUT

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Ever mindful of our duty here at the Islander to keep all our readers up to date on what's happening and where it's at, here is the first of a possible series of articles dedicated to food and drink. At great personal cost, the Islander team will undertake to keep you up informed on the best places to eat out. This week we will look at the island's newest venture but be warned we will be investigating Donald's Mountain Grills, the Snack Bar, and the Chicken Inn. The Exiles Club and anywhere else that serves food.

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The Bistro

Situated in the heart of our capital city, the Coffee Shop already well known for it's excellent cakes and pasties has ventured into the realms of catering with vengeance.

Thursday 8th April was the opening night and was a feast of culinary delights and excellent service. By limiting the number of guests (maximum 20) the hostesses Joyce, Natalie and Tracy, pictured above, with a little help from Eddie, managed to provide almost personal service to each table, ensuring that no-one's plate or glass was ever empty. A lot of hard work had obviously gone into creating the right atmosphere and ambience and it certainly paid off. From the pre-meal nibbles of breadsticks with dips to the dessert of sorbet or ice-cream, the food was excellent. The main course of lasagne was both tasty and filling but for those with more than average appetites seconds and even thirds were readily available. At a mere 6 quid a head it was definitely value for money. Wine, beer and soft drinks were also available for purchase. This reporter plumped for the house red. A cheeky little number raising memories of cherry blossom in springtime and warming open fires in winter with a distinctive bouquet of ferrets and old socks. At least 6 glasses are needed to truly appreciate this feisty little offering supplied by NAAFI but it is highly recommended after that.

All in all a good night out and if the standards continue to be this high some of our other eating establishments will need to keep on their toes.

The Met Office Weather Report

Statistics for the week ending last Sunday

ASCENSION SEA SWELL FORECAST ( based on data available on Monday afternoon) : WSW 1.0 m.

Sea temperature around Ascension Island : PS 27

ASCENSION ISLAND: Most of the week was sunny and hot with low humidities. Temperatures were always above 30C and on Sunday they reached 31.3C, thats almost 90F. On both Saturday and Sunday, the air became very humid with scattered showers around the island. A very warm night occurred Saturday night with temperatures falling no lower that 26C.

ST HELENA: G.T.Reports: A very dry/sunny week and only a gentle breeze. However, the weekend was more pleasant with some cloud cover. Still we eagerly await some rain to at least dampen the dry dusty conditions. Sea conditions were near perfect but deteriorated a fair bit during the call of the RMS on Thursday.

U.K: After a wet start to the week with frontal systems moveing NE across the UK, from Wednesday onwards, many places remained dry and very mild. Winds were mainly light and from a SW'ly direction with temperaturs on Friday reaching a respectable 19C or 66F over many parts of eastern England and Scotland. The weekend became much more changeable as a cooler, showery WNW'ly airflow moved east across all parts of the UK on Saturday morning.

FALKLAND ISLANDS: The first half of the week saw strong SW'ly winds which reached gale force on Wednesday. Temperature struggled to reach 10C and much of the precipitation over the high ground fell as snow. However, by Thursday, the wind swung round to the northwest with some pleasant warm autumn sunshine for the rest of the week. Temperatures reached 20C on Saturday however it still remained fairly breezy.

METCHAT

This weeks article is going to be very brief as our regular writer is now off the island and on her way to St.Helena! Hoorray, Hoorray - No! how could I cheer? I must say Gwen hase been an absolute doll to work and socialise with. Most women in the Met Office don't really party-like Gwen so she's pretty unique in that respect. She certainly beat me for going to parties and staying out late. However, there was a spell over Christmas and New Year when Gwen was ill and of course I took over the trophy!

We must also say goodbye to Roger the dodger who is also aboard the RMS on his way to St.Helena right now. Roger has been a great buddy to work with and will be missed sincerely not just by the Met Staff but by a lot of bar staff!. I 'm sure the profits on Graham's Port will now take a slump as it was an all-time favourite of Rogers. There were quite a few occasions when the Mess Bar actually ran out of Port and he had to resort to Castle. (YUK!)

We now welcome aboard 2 new Met Staff to replace Roger and Gwen. These being John and Neil. John has settled in nicely as he has been here for a week now but Neil is literally jumping straight into the hot seat arriving one day and working the next. If you don't recognise John, just look for the groovy T-Shirts with a Tristar printed on them.

Well I said this was going to be brief and it sure is, so bye for now and Bon Voyage to Gwen, Wayne and Roger.

Simon

Prizes for: 1st, 2nd & 3rd 1st Veteran Male & Female 1st Team of Four Merlin Communications 1999 DEW POND RUN Sunday 18th April Starting at 0800 hrs ENTRY FEE £5.00 (to be donated to charity) Presentation at M.V.C. Bar opens 5:00pm Presentation 5:15pm Followed by Food and a DISCO

BACKGROUND ON CTBT

Readers will have noticed groups of American Scientists wandering around the Island and setting strange looking experiments in out-of-the-way places. I therefore asked them to give a brief description of what they are up to. This is their report.

"The recent Comprehensive Nuclear Test Ban Treaty (CTBT) goes further than any earlier test ban treaty in that it bans nuclear explosions of any size.

In the absence of international trust, an important component of the treaty is global monitoring. The treaty calls for a worldwide verifications system to be established that can detect any nuclear explosions of about a kiloton yield or more. The verification system employs four technologies: 50 seismic stations worldwide to monitor for explosions conducted underground, 11 hydroacoustic stations to monitor for explosions conducted underwater, 60 infrasound stations to monitor for explosions conducted in the atmosphere and 80 radionuclide stations to detect radioactive fallout - primarily from atmospheric or shallow- burial detonation. All four technologies are together called the International Monitoring System (IMS) which is headquartered in Vienna, Austria.

Ascension Island will eventually be a host site for all four of the (CTBT) monitoring technologies. Three stations to be located here (Hydroacoustic, Infrasound and Radionuclide) will be within the International Monitoring System (IMS). The fourth technology, Seismic, will be represented informally by a sensor, in Butt Crater, which is part of the Global Seismographic Network (GSN).

A site survey study to determine the best location for a permanent infrasound station is currently in progress with four temporary sites gathering data on meteorological conditions and low frequency atmospheric noise until the end of April. Infrasound monitoring is for the purpose of detecting the low frequency sound waves that are created by an atmospheric nuclear explosion and which travel great distances. The infrasound survey will recommend the best site on the Island for a permanent station but that station will probably not be installed for a few years yet because of budgetary constraints.

A site survey has also been conducted to locate temporary seismic stations for an experiment in mid-May and for a two-year deployment of a seismic and an infrasound station. This experiment has a number of objectives.

1. to determine crustal structure in the immediate region of Ascension Island.

2. to exactly locate some existing hydrophones around Ascension.

3. to examine how to use seismic stations on Islands to monitor for underwater explosions and;

4. to establish a two-year "synergy" experiment consisting of co-located seismic, infrasound, and hydroacoustic monitoring to gather joint background statistics.

The "J.C. Ross", a British Antarctic Survey oceanographic research vessel, will spend 4 days in the waters around Ascension beginning about May 13^th. The ship will tow an array of airguns that will be fired at various locations around the Island, well offshore and at 20 metre depth. The airguns are typical of those used worldwide for marine oil and gas exploration surveys. The signals will be recorded by 11 temporary seismic stations that will operate for about a week during the shootings.

These experiments will involve scientists from the following institutions: Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, Los Alamos National Laboratory, Scripps Institute of Oceanography at the University of California, and the Naval Research Laboratory (all from the USA), Cambridge University (UK) and the Provisional Technical Secretariat of the CTBT Organisation, part of the United Nations, in Vienna.

You might well ask "Why not ban all nuclear weapons, not just the testing of them". An old Flanders & Swan sketch called "The Reluctant Cannibal" gives a close analogy. A young cannibal questions the morality and ethics of eating people and is given reasons otherwise by the tribal elders such as "People have always eaten people" and "What else is there to eat?" During the course of the debate an elder says "You may as well say don't fight other people" whereupon the young cannibal and the elders all howl with laughter: "Ridiculous". The nations of the world have agreed to ban nuclear testing, but banning nuclear weapons altogether is not on the cards for the foreseeable future.

The CTBT is the culmination of a long string of treaties aimed at limiting nuclear testing. The treaty bans nuclear explosions of any size from being conducted for any purpose. Period! It is expected that the CTBT will help strengthen the Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT), aimed at limiting the spread of nuclear weapons, and will prevent the development of more sophisticated generations of nuclear weapons by the nuclear "have" nations by denying them the ability to conduct actual tests".

And there you have it !!

R.C. HUXLEY
Administrator
7^th April 1999

From the Administrator's desk

As I pen this letter, the Maersk Gannet has just arrived to take over oil storage duties her much bigger sister ship, the Maersk Ascension. For the next few days the two crews will be busy swapping things around before, sadly, the Maersk Ascension sails away for the last time. Her future is as yet uncertain. But I hope that the elegant old lady doesn't end up on a Pakistani mud flat for breaking up. She deserves a more fitting end. So, if there is anyone out there with a cool £1.25 million, then she's yours! We welcome back Captain Jim Podger and his crew on the Gannet and say farewell to Captain Neil Lovesay and his merry band. Readers will be pleased to hear that the Maersk company intend that the vessel which will eventually take over from the Gannet will probably be renamed the Maersk Ascension too.

Talking of ships, I have been in touch with two very helpful Californians, Bob Duncan and Richard Headley. Richard is the proud possessor of the original log of HMS Antelope, which was in these waters on anti-slaving patrols from 1856-59. During that time she captured two American slavers (Jupiter, 70 slaves and J H Record, 191 slaves). The wretched human cargoes were both freed and the ships taken as prizes. HMS Antelope visited Ascension a couple of times and the log-keeper, Master's Assistant E G Jackson, made four beautiful water colours of Ascension as seen from the four compass points. There are various other illustrations and a map. These are now all on show in our Museum. Our grateful thanks to Bob and Richard for taking the trouble to contact me and then to send the pictures. These join the recent line of considerate people who have helped the Museum (Mrs Nott, see elsewhere in this Islander, and Mrs Bee from South Africa who gave us the old admiralty china).

Niddy and I did enjoy the final of the soccer Knock-out" between Georgetown and Travellers last Saturday. The pace of the game was breathtaking and the result was always in the balance. It was a shame in a way that one side had to lose - but at 90 minutes the result was 3-3, after extra time it was still 3-3, so the match was eventually won on penalties by Georgetown. Apart from the skill of the players, the antics and comments from the crowd were an added entertainment bonus. But I am sure the referee is at heart a kind man and that he can prove his parentage.

Most readers will know that one of the Administrator's charities, the Education Fund, is helping to support two students in the UK (Andrea Peters in Tewkesbury and Kerry Benjamin in the East End of London). Lots of generous individuals contribute funds and the Falkland Island Government has been particularly generous. But it is expensive to maintain our young ladies in the UK and there are times when I despair that we will run out of funds. So I am very grateful to Pam Benjamin for organising the brilliant well attended disco evening at the Saints Club beach hut last Saturday. Well over £500 was raised. My thanks too to Pam's helpers: Dutch Lawrence (soup), Noddy Lawrence and the "A-team" for the fish and being such excellent master chefs, "Love Affair" the band, Johnny Swain (DJ and providing the disco) and the Saints Club (bar). Everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves. And the accompanying children had a marvellous time helping the turtle team by picking up hundreds of baby turtles and putting them safely into the sea.

I am privileged that being the Administrator I get invited to lots of events. But the highlights are generally those to do with children. Earlier today was no exception when I was invited to the school's "splash gala" where the younger boys and girls showed off their paces. The standard was high. Many of them are very competent swimmers already - but even the non-swimmers were able to take part wearing armbands. And everyone got at least one rosette. The highlight was seeing Johnny Hobson being thrown into the water and then leading some semi-willing parents and teachers in a sprint race across the pool. There was something very satisfying in seeing my wife presenting the prizes, dripping water everywhere following her participation in the adult's "race". It's always nice to end with thanks. So these go to Mrs Joshua, the teachers, the helpers, parents (who turned out in force) but most especially to the young children for putting on such an excellent show. Well done everyone!

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Days gone by........!

I have been in touch with a very nice lady, Mrs Nott from Camborne in Cornwall, who has kindly donated to the Museum some photos and papers concerning her grandfather, The Revd Austin. He was fleet chaplain here in the 1890's (indeed one of his infant sons is buried in Monkey Rock cemetery at the bottom of the Residency garden).

Mrs Nott tells me that she recently met an ex-Ascensionite, Geoff Stevens, who was here with C&W from 1964-66. Geoff mentioned that his family had been on Ascension from 1912-20 when his grandfather, Petty Officer Edwin Bennett was in charge of the RN Hospital in Georgetown. The family lived in no, 7 or no.8 cottage just by the hospital. Whilst here P0 Bennett designed a special stretcher for lifting casualties at the pierhead. He also did all the dental work because "the surgeon didn't like doing it!"

At the outbreak of World War I in 1914 all the women and younger children were evacuated to the San (now the Residency). Apparently this caused a lot of friction between the navy and ETC families - so much so that the families returned to their homes in Georgetown after about six months. In 1917 a U-boat surfaced just off the island and one of the cannons just by Governor's Lodge fired at it, after which it (very sensibly) disappeared.

Geoff Stevens' mother (PO Bennett's youngest daughter) told him that during the entire stay here she had attended school for only one day and had only worn shoes once.

Geoff proudly told Mrs Nott that he was in the group in 1966, which replaced the book at LetterBox, so his name is both at the end of the old book and the beginning of the (then) new one.

One last point posed by Mrs Nott and which some of our longer-term residents may be able to help with. It seems that in the old days all babies born on the island were given silver turtle spoons. She would like to get hold of one. Can anyone out there help?

If any of our readers have any interesting stories to tell about their days here please let me or the Heritage Society know.

Roger Huxley
Administrator/President AIHS

ASCENSION ISLAND CLAY PIGEON CLUB

THE "EQUINOX" COMPETITION

The AICPC held the Equinox Team Competition last weekend, 11/4/99 at 1330 his as planned. Four teams were drawn up, three teams of two and one team of three with the highest two scores of the three to count.

The first shoot was "Down the Line" and was won by David Caswell with a score of 24. At this point in the competition the team of David Caswell and Richard Tochtrop were in the lead.

Next was the Fur & Feather which has proven to be quite a test for all shooters over the past couple of months. Joe Cobb emerged the winner with a score of 10. By now the team of Hensil Williams and Derek Richards had stolen the lead by just 2 points.

Now came the ultimate test of "Crossing Pairs". David Caswell excelled in this event and won with a score of 18 closely followed by Capt Neil Lovsey of the Maersk with a score of 16. The total scores for the day were added up and Hensil Williams and Derek Richards were winners with a score of 62 points. They were closely followed by the team of Errol Herne, Joe Cobb and Dave Sibble with 56 points and in third place was David and Rich with a score of 54 points.

Some consolation must be given to Neil Lovsey and Andy Taber for "fourth" place.

The Highest Individual score went to David Caswell with a score of 44 points. The Highest Aggregate of Pairs went to Hensil Williams after a shoot of with David Caswell, beth with a score of 20 points.

Also there was the presentation of the "Turners Cup" which is awarded to the person with the highest score for the year and the Large Clay (with a 12" diameter) which is awarded to the person with the lowest score. Harold Henry was presented with the Turners Cup and Errol Herne with the Large Clay, well done to both of you.

It was a great afternoon and was thoroughly enjoyed by all who took part. After the presentation we all sat and had a drink and a chat about what could have been. Once again thanks to all who took part and made it a success, hope to see you all on Sunday for our usual practice at 1400 hrs.

(David Caswell),
Secretary/Treasurer,
AICPC.

Hash Trash
Hash No.744

Sat. 10 April 99

After a quick gathering at Stealth & New-Knees' house at Deadmans Beach, Stealth gives the pack the low down; 6 circles, 4 bars, and 1 'faultcy' were announced with hazards of broken glass, septic pools(yuck) and 'poke-in-the eyes; and ON - ON proclaimed. Past the turtle ponds towards the football field ( with a game in full play) we went. As the pack nimbles by, Sir Little checks the score; Beer - 1, Hash - 0 with a minor penalty for not sharing. A circle check in the midst of 'the mud hole' verifies this to be an interesting hash. ON - ON again and off we go. Past the old tank system and up - up. The FRB's soon found 'the faultcy' and this gave Stealth a wicked grin and the rest of us a chance to catch-up. Up - Up Cross Hill we go(the back way) to the old battlement for another circle check and a brilliant view of the sea and Georgetown. Off(or On - On) again, down and behind Needles tank to Hogan's By-Pass thru briars and lava. Down the by-pass thru The Gallows, along the pipeline(where Lollipop finds a comfortable seat) and back to Deadman's Beach to the finish. A 'Hash Bash' with a bountiful amount of liquid(LOTS of BEER) and refreshments awaited us and we accepted greedily! This 'Bash' has a sad note however, with the parting of Hot Lips(an inconsideration of her hash duties that will be taken up further down). After tons of well deserved food and drink, a toast by the GHM(Sniffy). "May you never forget Ascension"(as if she could no matter how hard she tried),"May you be the 'sanest' member in your new hash group"(this should prove a great challenge), and "May your Hot Lips never grow cold"( ???). A loud 'HERE HERE' from all. As with all Hash Bash's, protocol has it's place and a calling of the virgins (hash virgins you dirty minds) to come forward of which 5 were found; Mike, Karl, Anita, Millenko, and Fiona. With a drink of 'hash holy liquid' they were welcomed into the fold(that shall teach them).

Now to deal with the Hash Offenses or 'The Ten Cardinal Sins'. First ruling finds Chief Longpole 'poleless'. Sin # 6 "Negligence of duties by hounds". For coming on a hash without his 'pole' and then going off and getting someone else's. 'Disgusting' !!

Of cardinal sin # 1 "Dishonorable Misconduct" , Coffeemate is charged with(and found guilty of) baring his chest while removing his shirt in order to cover a lady hasher's modesty(that's what you call it) atop Monkey Rock after ripping her shorts(the rock ripped them not Coffeemate).

Occasional was found guilty of sin # 3 "Aiding and Abetting", for assisting Coffeemate and trying to get a closer look at the situation. 'For shame'. However, the guilty party was not present, so sentencing was past down to the next suitable candidate - the person who brought the accused to the hash - Morticia. This was with hopes that she would deal with this criminal sternly and relentlessly(as we know she can).

Whilst on the subject of clothing, Sir Lance-a-Little has been charged and found guilty of cardinal sin # 7 " No Profiteers". It seems he wears boxer shorts to the hash(s) with pretty little hearts on them.(a habitual offender) Dozy and Peacock were dragged forward next(with jeers and shouts of "GUILTY" before sentencing) for breaking cardinal sin # 2 "Deliberate Short Cutting". They were seen moving/removing trees(ripping these poor defenseless trees from the ground) in order to take a shorter route. May you be forgiven by the Administrator cause you won't from us !!

And finally for cardinal sin # 8 "Inconsideration of Hash Duties". Warp Speed was found guilty of forgetting how to pilot a bread knife and make sandwiches.

Also for # 8, Hot Lips, who gets 2 strikes at this cardinal sin, one for watching the GHM(Sniffy) clear a path of thick undergrowth before her so she could SIMPLY lay a trail, and second for leaving the Ascension Hash without good reason(this one will be hard to forgive).

After these criminals were serverly chastised and ridiculed before the pack, and sentences set, the merriment continued late into the night.

A Very hardy HERE HERE cheer to 'George the Cook' for preparing a meal fit for this Hash Bash. Very good show George ! Very good indeed !!

Special thanks goes to A-Drain for dealing with the financial end of this bash and all others for their donations. Also to Stealth and New-Knees for opening their home to this motley bunch of criminal, derelicts, and over all rowdy thugs(Tell the neighbors we're sorry).

Next weeks hairs will be A-Drain and Fugitive(just back off holiday from St.Helena were some strange stories/rumors are afloat) - this will prove to be an interesting hash, starting point - The Quarry by the Windmills.

Hong Kong Phooey

ASCENSION PREMIERSHIP 1998/99
By Crocky & Darrin
Results – Tables – Fixtures - News
Results:

Scored J Not Scored L

GEORGETOWN KNOCKOUT CHAMPIONS!

Third time lucky, it seems as the Knockout Final finally got underway. And wasn't it worth the wait!
Tension was in the air. Could Travellers make the final transition in to Champions after League Runners Up. Or would Georgetown be able to put all past disappointments behind them and go for gold.

Chocolate in "Action"

Johnny, Crocky & darrin (left) - Timmy Reynolds footballer of the year (right)

Georgetown was the first to strike, Darrin 'Hurricane' Henry striking the ironwork. But Travellers were the first to take the lead after only ten minutes. Timmy 'Rebel' Reynolds put Travellers 1 -0 up by making an early awarded penalty count. Undeterred Georgetown fought back. With a dash down the wing Anthony 'Giggsy' blasted through the Travellers defence, striking at goal. Travellers goalkeeper, Steve Bowers didn't stand a chance. But Georgetown were again, denied by the ironwork. In Travellers defence Derek O'Conner was keeping Georgetown at bay. Unfortunately Nicky John of Georgetown was able to break through and equalise. Half time score, 1-1. Within minutes the game was back to full tempo. Paul 'Iggy' put Travellers ahead with a curving shot around Malcolm. But again Georgetown fought back. This time in an all out effort to get forward and resulted in a goal from defender Alan Stevens. Georgetown were back in the game.
Travellers were concerned when captain Deano was taken off for medical attention. But he soon was back on and they all breathed a sigh of relief.
Travellers fought on, trying to put themselves ahead. But Georgetown ended the trend and put themselves in the lead with a pass from Anthony 'Giggs' to find Darrin 'Hurricane' who blasted the ball into the Travellers net. It looked like Georgetown were going to take the cup home, but in the dying minutes, Travellers equalised. 3-3. Georgetown and fans were distraught! I guess too many eggs were counted. This led to a blistering 10 minutes each way of extra time. This failed to settle the score between the teams. Finally it was the dreaded penalty shootout. What a nailbitter... Each team would have 5 attempts.
First up was Rebel Reynolds. Unfortunately for him, Malcolm Maggott made amends for the earlier penalty and saved his shot. Then came Gavin 'Chocolate' Yon who got Georgetown off to a good start. Score 1-0. Ian Wade stepped up but did not test Malcolm as his shot was wide.
Up stepped Hurricane Henry who made it two up for Georgetown. Deano Collis showed his men how to take penalties and easily put Travellers back in the picture. Would Melvin Moyce keep the Georgetown streak alive. No, as he hit the crossbar. It was Iggys turn next and he followed his captains lead and put Travellers on 2-2. Nicky John also did his team proud and put Georgetown ahead. Score 3- 2. But man of the day was Malcolm.

He devastatingly put an end to Travellers chances by saving Rob'Pti' shot, and made Georgetown Knockout Champions. Commiseration's Travellers.
All player selected, and goalkeepers, made penalties look easy but everyone knows it just isn't the case. Eruo '96, World Cup'98, now Ascension '99. Who needs multimillion dollar stadiums, lavish dancers, anthems? We got it all on our doorstep! With it all the dressing up, its the thrill of the game that counts. Until next time!
The Premiership takes a break for now, but as Arnies says 'we'lll be baackk'.
The presentation followed the game with Harts collecting the League Champions trophies with Travellers runners up. The Base won the District cup with Georgetown runners up and of course Georgetown picked up the Jimmy Lawrence knockout cup, Travellers runners up. Six referees were awarded small plaques for their part in the season plus Paul Crake was awarded his earlier in the year before he left the island. Simon Williams won the award for Goalkeeper of the Season and Timmy 'Rebel' Reynolds won Player of the Season and the Highest Goal-scorer of the season with a total haul of 50 goals. Here are a few more images from the final, all pictures by Sharon Henry.

INTERNET NEWS

Many thanks to Paul Bennett and Gavin "Chocolate" Yon for agreeing to help out and (hopefully) eventually take over the on-line editing of this fine newspaper, thus ensuring that The Islander does not become yet another "Mary Celeste" of cyber space.

Chocolate and Paul were the editors of this "on-line" version this week so please be gentle with them both :-) !!

Nathan Prince

Chocolate & Paul - the new on-line editing team!

EDITORS - Penny Peters & Adrian Fowler
The New Islander Office, Fort Hayes, Georgetown, Ascension Island.
Tel/Fax 00 + 247 6327
E-Mail: editors@the-islander.org.ac
Deadline: 12 pm Tuesdays

Contributors: Gwen Roberts, Penny Peters, Debbie & Nathan Prince, Father Keith, Jeff Lowdermilk, Caz Parker, Cheryl Anthony, Lance, Graham Biggar, Carolyn Nicholls Roger Huxley, Betty Joshua, Darin Henry & Richard Thomas, Sharon Andrews, Capt. Neil Lovesy, Ceddy Henry, Insp. George

Printers: RAXA

All articles © copyright 1999 The Islander Newspaper. All rights reserved.

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