Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1345
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 03.02.2011 (Article Archived on 17.02.2011)
A large crowd gathered at the Sugar Lumps to help Mildew and 100 Watt celebrate their final Ascension Hash.
Hash No: 1345
Hounds: Bloodsucker, Gene, Over & Done With, Two Will Do, Gumby Two Scoops, Skinny Butt, Andreas, Chief Longpole, Smokey Eel Gobbler, Daddy Doe Balls, Dipstick, 100 Watt, mildew, Secret Squirrel, Nessie, Lady Go Diver, Hash Howler, Goat Chaser, Sniffy, Short Change, Uncle Fester, Son of Eyebrows, Marlene, Arse Stop It, Sporty Shorty
Apres: Chris & Louise
A large crowd gathered at the Sugar Lumps to help Mildew and 100 Watt celebrate their final Ascension Hash. The warnings included rocks, slippery slopes, ball bearing type rocks and more slippery slopes! More than a few worried looks were cast in the direction of Mountain Red Hill, but the on-on sent us across the road instead. Except for the little hashers and their companions, who headed off up the track!
A long, slippery scramble followed up the side of the crater, with Bloodsucker falling way behind, and finally making it to the top and the first circle check to a round of applause! From there the path continued around the rim of the crater with a few slippery downhills thrown in for good measure.
At the bottom of a particularly long, slippery slide, we were given the choice of heading towards the road, or continuing on down a gully and through a tricky patch. Gumby-Two Scoops and Dipstick decided their fate through a coin toss! A few hardy souls continued on, including some kids! Well done to them all!
The rest did a bit more climbing and it was back to the NASA Road and the Bullock’s Pond parking area. As soon as the others returned the fire was lit! The first order of business was to welcome a sorry soul into the group. Young Jaimie was named Sporty Shorty!
Then, it was time to celebrate Mal and Toni Moss’ time as an important part of the Ascension Hash House Harriers in the eight years they have been on the island. When the fire got good and hot in went the boots! Then everyone gathered round as Uncle Fester gave us an insight into their contribution. Here it is!
“Well Mal and Toni, what can I say? I have put together a few highlights of your hashing history to date. You came to Ascension in 2003 and were soon introduced to the hash and have continued to attend hashes most weeks right up until today.
Mal was named 100 Watt as he wore fluorescent orange shorts you could see coming for miles! Toni was named Mildew (similarity to Moss – get it??!!) Your kids visited on various occasions and had to join the hash of course and all ended up with somewhat appropriate names. Jason became 50 Watt (for obvious reasons) and Maxine; Passing Wind. Your granddaughter Taylor who became Ariel also was an avid hasher.
In November 2003, for the Serco-sponsored Dew Pond Run, Mal put together a Hash Relay Team called the “Hash-Has-Beens”, where we came first. I think there was only one other relay team entered!
Mal was Hash Master on a number of occasions but no one can exactly pinpoint when! Toni was Hash Mistress briefly somewhere in between those dates! Toni ran the Hash Cash from 2004 until 2009.
Both Mal and Toni were involved in organizing the 1000th Hash Bash in April 2004. Ron Hunt, “The Major” was Hash Master then. They’ve also been to many Hash Thrashes and Hash Formals.
And of course we can’t forget the Cavaliers! 100 Watt (Mal), The Major (Ron), Yeti (Dwight Pfonner), Fugitive (Guy), Chief Longpole (John White), Skipper (Butch Bleasedale) and Uncle Fester (Pete Gillies), and the 8th Cavalier was Mildew, who always made sure we all got home safely!
The Cavaliers (oft spoken about in hushed tones), contrary to popular belief was not some kind of a secret society, but simply a band of hashers who wanted to uphold the Hash tradition of being “Drinkers with a running problem”! We felt that sodas and beers did not do it justice, so someone brought along a bottle of Cavalier Rum, probably Skipper or Fugitive, and the Cavaliers were born! To become a Cavalier all you had to do was bring a bottle of rum, usually Captain Morgan’s Spiced Rum. Cavalier Rum is awful stuff really and only good for lighting barbeques! But the name “Cavaliers” had a much better ring than say “The Captains”, so the name stuck. Toni arranged hats and from then on the Cavaliers became an official entity.
Well, those are but a few brief headlights of a long and interesting hash career on Ascension. We would all like to thank Mal and Toni for the sterling support that you have given to the hash over the last eight years. Eight years that have just flown by. I would like all Hashers to hold up a glass and wish Toni and Mal all the very best of “Good Health and Happiness for the Future”!
A toast was raised to 100 Watt and Mildew, a few tears were shed, and a wonderful mosaic of a rum bottle, made by Marlene, was presented to Mal and Toni so they will always remember their times with us!
Best of luck on your new adventures, Mal and Toni, and thanks for sharing so many of your adventures on Ascension with us!
Next Week: English Bay
Hares: Marlene & Arse Stop It