Ascension : MYSTERY INTERVIEW
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Internet Editor) 19.03.2009 (Article Archived on 02.04.2009)

Where were you born? Birmingham UK

What is your middle name?

Stewart *NB this is the proper way to spell it and not ‘Stuart’ the way the Froggies do.

How old do you feel?

As young as the woman I’m with but sometimes as old as 90!

What’s the best course you’ve ever attended?

The one run by an old friend of mine, a retired Irish Kamikaze pilot who, having completed over a dozen missions, set up a management course entitled, ‘Staying focused - Will it work for you?’ Sadly he died recently; he was knocked over and killed by a 20 ton steamroller as he crossed the road in Wapping Steps. He’s now buried in plots 1 to 10 of the local cemetery. 

How long have you lived on Ascension?

3 Administrators long

What is your favourite spot on Ascension and why?

That spot in the sea where the Crayfish live

What did your school reports say?

I went to 8 different schools and apart from the one in Iraq, from which I was expelled for throwing the school bell through the window, all the rest said “ X never takes anything seriously and enjoys playing the class clown”.

What is your ambition?

I would really like to drive around in a 2.7V6 Landrover Discovery 3 so the Ascension Island Administrator’s job looks good.

What is your favourite meal?

Falkland Island lamb cooked by Sharon Ramsden followed by a couple of bottles of Exportacion.

What’s your worst nightmare?

Guy Barallon letting the VC run out of Spicy Rum.

What famous person do you admire?

Father Christmas and his team of Reindeers and Elves for the way they always manage to deliver presents to every child in the world within a single 24 hour period! ……….’what do you mean he’s not real? I saw him myself at Two Boats only last Christmas and again the other night after I’d finished a bottle of Spicy. Bah Humbug, you’re having me on!

What fictional Characters would you like to meet?

Well, I’ve already met Jay Block so I suppose that just leaves Noddy and Big Ears.

How would you describe yourself?

Quiet, unassuming with no sense of humour

What has been your proudest moment?

Getting my wife’s permission to say that I’m the boss in our house!

Do you have a trademark phrase?

“Mines a Shippies”

Last week’s mystery interviewee was Sylvia Henry.

Thank you to all who thought about this and worked out the answer.

Answers to the above interview to the Islander by Monday 6pm.