Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1250
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 26.02.2009 (Article Archived on 12.03.2009)

Was it the windmills? Was it the firing range? Where exactly was the hash this week?

Hash No:  1250

Hares:  Bungalow Bill & Ice Man

Hounds:  Uncle Fester, Bloodsucker, Gumby, Wonky Willie, Oompah Loompah, Ove & Done With, Beaver Diva, Ball Handler, Chief Bald Eagle, Poker Face, Pole Dancer, Whatever Minger, Morganosaurus, Fleur des Isles, Tripper, Slippery Dick, Aloe Gobby, Wood’n’Pecker, Stinky Nuts, Mucky Princess, Mucky Digger, Pteradactyl, old Gollywaddler, Plonker, Lanky, Nip’n’Suck, Little Chuffer, Ben, Kate, Anna, Whiskey Chaser, Desperate Dan (hope I didn’t miss anyone)

Apres:  Michelle, Kate, Madam Mardy Pants, Lauren

Was it the windmills?  Was it the firing range?  Where exactly was the hash this week?  Although the cars somewhere in between the two finally got everyone to the starting point, it was a question that was going to come back and haunt a few of the hashers a bit later on!

The hares, with their best Pinocchio noses on, promised an easy walk in the park.  When they also said no Mexican Thorn, we should have realized they weren’t being quite as truthful as they could have been!  On-on went the runners along the track, while the Walkers and Talkers headed off with Ice Man across the lava rocks.

Pretty soon, there was no sign of hash, and even the hare had a rather befuddled look on his face.  The hounds scattered out and after a bit of back and forth, the call of on-on was heard, and we headed towards the dreaded little track up the hill.  Luckily we bypassed that, and headed up a little ravine.  At the next circle check the runners were starting to catch up with the rest.

On-on we went, with a little up-up as well.  We soon found ourselves in a box canyon, with no way out but a climb up some big rocks.  Next it was heading off in the direction of Devil’s Riding School, and before we knew it we were skimming the side of the crater.  By this time the group was quite strung out, and the fun soon began.

Bloodsucker and Stinky Nuts realized they’d lost the hash and after rounding a spot to a nice lookout and not seeing any hashers (they couldn’t have gotten too far ahead, could they?) made the fateful decision that the hashers must have cut across Devil’s Riding School.  So they started to back track and with a certain amount of zig-zagging, found their way to the base of the little hill where the letterbox was.  Still no sign of any hashers, except for the group comprised of Poker Face, Pole Dancer, Lanky and the younger ones Little Chuffer and Whatever Minger, who while following some distance behind decided that Bloodsucker and Stinky Nuts knew what they were doing.

This silly decision led them across the crater as well, trying to find their way off a dead end.  Finally they all joined up, and with Stinky Nuts taking the lead (they’d all had enough of following Bloodsuker by this time!!), made their way gingerly down the steep, slippery cliff.  They could spot all the others on the main track by then.  Those already at the cars stared in disbelief at the little spots in the distance coming down the cliff! 

Stinky Nuts led all the lost souls to safety, although not without losing his radio antenna, and most of his shorts along the way!  We appreciated his sacrifices!!  At the track only Little Chuffer accepted the offer of a ride back to the start with the rescue party; the rest plodded on, air conditioning and all!

Back at the vehicles, the shortcut folks were happy to realize they weren’t the last hashers in after all.  Wood’n’Pecker, Mucky Princess, Ice Man, Aloe Gobby, and Pteradactyl were still not in sight.  Eventually they appeared on the track, and two hours after they started out, made it safely back. 

Easy hash, indeed!!  Good one, Ice Man and Bungalow Bill, but easy??  The jury is still out on that one!  Thanks for a challenge.  Everyone dug into the treats and pretty soon, the fire got started, and everyone was working on a clearing project, hauling dead stuff to the fire.  Madam Mardy Pants gets the prize for hauling.  Feeling a bit under the weather or not, she was spotted carting a long branch much bigger than herself!  Well done to all.

Next Week:  NASA Site

Hares:  Stinky Nuts (who won’t actually be here for the hash – oh oh!) & Poker Face