Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No:1227
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 25.09.2008 (Article Archived on 09.10.2008)

Well, it was I’m Easy’s last hash, and she’d made it quite clear that it was going to be anything but easy!

Hash No:  1227

Hare:  I’m Easy

Hounds:  Mildew, Street Corner Lorna, Uncle Fester, Bloodsucker, 100 Watt, Skinny Butt, Fugitive, Desperate Dan, Dozy, Ice Man, Whiskey Chaser, Bungalow Bill, Only Comes Once, Old Gollywaddler, Mucky Princess, Joseph, Tough Cookie, Head Mistress, Beaver Diva, Over & Done With, Wobbly Bits, Little Big Man, Mowgli, Bullitt, Chocolate Button, Oompah Loompah, Fleur des Isles, Chief Bald Eagle, Lanky, Madam Mardy Pants, Nip’n’Suck, Little Chuffer, Whopper Chopper, Copper Balls, Anne, Master Bates, Seaman Stains, Two Cocks, Fido

Apres Hashers:  Fish Artist, Wood’n’pecker, Goldilocks, Louis, Kerb Krawler, Mike

Well, it was I’m Easy’s last hash, and she’d made it quite clear that it was going to be anything but easy!  The rain added to the distress, but a large crowd gathered regardless, undaunted by the threat of a long, soggy hash!  In fact, everyone seemed to be quite ready to tackle the challenge!  All the usual hazards were promised, slippery bits, up, downs, back arrows…the whole kit and caboodle!

While the little ones and their helpers went on their own hashes, some to Monkey Rock Cemetery, and some towards the Dew Pond, the rest of the hounds braced themselves and headed out at the call of on-on.  The FRBs headed down the fence line, while the WATs headed along Invalids Path.  A few of the runners seemed to head off almost immediately in the wrong direction, but despite that, and a back arrow, they all caught up with the rest of the pack before the road appeared. 

Next it was on to Middleton’s and a circle check.  Considering that there were ten circle checks promised, it seemed a long way before we got to the first couple!  Although the path beckoned in front of us, the blobs of hash turned down the hill.  The hounds went slipping and sliding, grabbing on to the tree branches.  Bloodsucker’s confidence in the strength of the branches was obviously misplaced and she sipped and almost knocked Skinny Butt down the hill!

We made it to Madagascar Path and then started an interesting detour, around the trees, into the gully, and to another circle check.  From here the path, and the hounds, went straight down, only to find ourselves facing a back arrow.  So, it was back up, and up.  We passed the old stone enclosure, and a few pieces of crockery were picked up.  Farther up we turned back towards the way we’d come, although it was a case of picking our way along the slippery paths. 

Before we knew it, we were back at Middleton’s, heading back to the road.  Unfortunately, Mildew found a stump just her size and it toppled her over.  Tough lady that she is, she continued on, although the call went ahead for a car to rescue her at the road, despite her assurances that she could continue.  Bloodsucker and Head Mistress stayed with her until 100 Watt came to the rescue, then they tried to catch up to the others.  Although not successful in that endeavour, they did manage to find their way back to the Residency on their own.

It appears that although a few hounds had opted out at this point, most had continued on this long and tough hash.  Off they went down and down, and then due to the rain, the climb up Monkey Rock was aborted.  Enough was enough, and back the weary folks came.  The rain had not stopped, only lightened a bit and everyone was soaked.  The hardy barbecue kings managed to get the fire lit regardless (although we wonder just how much lighter fluid they used!!) and the hamburgers, sausages and fish soon joined the pizza, chili, sandwiches and other goodies.  It was a great feast, and the kids had a grand time running all over the place.  No bit of rain was going to keep them from playing outside.

The circle of friendship was drawn, and a few sorry souls welcomed into the Ascension Hash House Harriers.  Pavol and Richard will now be known as Lolek and Bolek, which we guess is an inside joke.  Next up, the rules about three hashes was waved for the hardy Royal Navy contingent who picked a toughie for their first hash and were felt to be deserving of Hash names.  Anne will now be known as Glitter Babe, while Rory becomes Seaman Stains, and Nick was christened Master Bates.  Welcome to the Ascension Hash House Harriers!!

The evening continued as everyone celebrated I’m Easy’s long hash.  We’ll miss her tough contributions to hashdom on Ascension!  We know that she’ll be joining a hash group in the UK and soon have them running in circles…. and into bar checks…… and into back arrows.  Of course, before then, there’s the long trip on the RMS St. Helena to the UK.  We’re sure that I’m Easy will set the first ever hash on the ship!  Best wishes in the future, and happy hiking!!  The best wishes of all your fellow hashers sail with you, Elizabeth!  Thanks for a memorable last Ascension hash!

Next Week:  Behind the Volcano Club