Ascension : Hash Trash
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 27.03.2008 (Article Archived on 10.04.2008)

Everyone gathered by the Hood Guns on Cross Hill for this week’s hash. Whopper Chopper had a good warm up, running up the hill from his house!

Hash No:  Who knows – can someone tell me??

Hares:  Bungalow Bill & Two Cocks

Hounds:  Yeti, Desert Rose, Fugitive, Uncle Fester, Hole in One, Wild Oats, Bloodsucker, Nip’n’Suck, Lanky, Madam Mardy Pants, Little Chuffer, Over & Done With, Bossy Blades, Pumpy Pants, Luke, Shaun, Whopper Chopper, 100 Watt, Mildew, Britney, Taffy, Stinky Fingers

Apres Hashers:  Canoodler, Glitter Babe, No Nuts, Plain Nuts, Katie, Zoe

Everyone gathered by the Hood Guns on Cross Hill for this week’s hash.  Whopper Chopper had a good warm up, running up the hill from his house!  All set to go, we were promised a nice walk in the park for the WATs, but not so much for the FRBs!  Yeti decided that his weak ankle necessitated a bit longer rest, and opted to stay with the slower folks.

It was on-on over the embankment, and then off on the path around Cross Hill.  Two Cocks led the WATs, while Bungalow Bill, who had apparently lost the coin toss, led the FRBs.  They took off and weren’t seen again…well, they were, but more on that later!  The FRBs had been promised around eight circle checks, while the walkers had only three, which sounded good, until we realized that the first circle check was a long ways away from the guns!

After the first circle check, it was on-on to One Boat, behind Birdies’s, for the next circle check.  It was here that we caught sight of the runners, way far away in the distance.  They were crawling up the hill beside Lady Hill.  They looked like little white ants against the red klinka!  There were real sighs of relief that we had all chosen the walkers route!

It was on then through the back of the driving range, a few of the hashers picking up golf balls along the way.  Britney had a whole hatful before long!  A nice easy amble had us on a nice afternoon walk.  Bloodsucker even found a few new exhibits for the museum on the way.  Our hare, Two Cocks, was obviously used to being an FRB, and got a little ways ahead of the rest of the crowd, with the exception of Nip’n’Suck, who managed to keep up with him.  As they went down into the gully, and then up the rocky embankment, the rest didn’t notice (so we claimed!) and followed Yeti right back to the easier path! 

We all made it back to the start, the guns and the refreshments.  The runners were nowhere in sight for quite a while when they finally started arriving.  But, a few were missing!!  Where were Uncle Fester, Bungalow Bill (wasn’t he a hare??), Taffy and Stinky Fingers??  Since they were very late, a search and rescue operation was initiated, and the search party of Two Cocks and Pumpy Pants was sent out!  All were rescued, and the party went on, like it always does!!

Good hash, Two Cocks and Bungalow Bill, but we might not let you set a runner’s hash for a while!!

Next Week:  Coverdale’s House