Ascension : Hash No; 1184
Submitted by The Islander (Soo Matthews) 29.11.2007 (Article Archived on 13.12.2007)

THIS IS THE HASH TRASH THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN INCLUDED IN LAST WEEK’S ISLANDER.

Hash No; 1184

Hares:  Fugitive, Wild Oats, Milk Me Mickey & Stinky Fingers

Hounds:  Great Balls of Fire, Whopper Chopper, Copper Balls, Buford T., Lanky, Yeti, Desert Rose, Sybil, Gumby-Two Scoops, Uncle Fester, Kerb Krawler, Two Cocks, Simone, Jackie, Whiskey Chaser, Pumpy Pants, Pussy Galore No More, Easy Rider, I’m Easy, Fall Guy, Flasher, Finn, Bill, Ian, Secret Squirrel, Dog End, Tony, Bloodsucker, Head Mistress, Worm, 100 Watt, Chief Bald Eagle, Collin, Yanick

Apres Hashers:  Canoodler, No Nuts, Plain Nuts, Glitter Babe, Nip’n’Suck, Madam Mardy Pants, Little Chuffer, Wee Scottish Lassie, Goldilocks, Fish Artist, Street Corner Lorna, Rachel, Short House, Amber, Papa, Aimee, Bob The Builder, Dickeys Hickeys, Barbara, Angela, Mildew, Hole in One, Irish Whiskey

The starting point for this week’s “not child friendly” hash was Command Hill.  We were warned of loose footing, and the other usual hazards, and then the on-on headed to the top of the hill.  After that it was along the crater rim for a while, and then down a treacherous incline.

It really seems that Great Balls of Fire should have listened just a wee bit better to the warnings.  As we traversed along a rather narrow sheep trail, Buford T for some reason decided to take a short cut straight down the side, followed rather hesitantly by Whiskey Chaser.  At this point, Great Balls of Fire declared that he would show them how it was properly done, and launched himself off the side of the cliff.  By the time he was half-way down, it was plainly evident to the horrified hashers watching that this was not going to end well!

Sure enough, his feet failed to keep up with the rest of him, and what followed was a rather spectacular fall as he flipped over and bounced off the rocks several times.  Gasps arose from the crowd who were then relieved, although astonished, to see him jump to his feet quickly!!  As Mal headed over, the many medics in the group were concerned that he needed serious attention.  By the time everyone got to him, though, he had washed off his many scrapes and headed on his way!!  Unbelievable!!

Next, it was a climb up to the windmills, and then across the lava field in the direction of the Shooting Range.  After a brief stop, it was apparent (as feared) that the mountain behind there was next!  At this point, we’d already lost a few hashers, and now it was Pussy Galore No More’s turn to take a shortcut.  Bloodsucker gallantly volunteered to stay with her and off they went over the side looking for an easier way down.  The rest continued up, and up, and up some more before finally finding that the route headed down.

When the hounds all made it to the bottom, they found a couple of refreshed hashers lounging by the sign post!  Then it was on-on again, out to the track.  Here the runners had a chance to really stretch their legs (on firmer footing I might add).  Eventually a turn signal angled us into the lava field once more for the long walk back to Command Hill.  Then again it was up-up, with various different routes taken by weary hashers looking for the easiest way to the refreshments!

The cool drinks and delicious munchies were gratefully devoured by the crowd, as lots of après hashers arrived to join in the festivities.  Irish Whiskey turned up on crutches.  If she can’t navigate on her bike, it was probably a good thing that she had to give this hash a pass!

As a few were off to catch the northbound plane, the circle of friendship was hastily drawn so that Ian could be welcomed before he disappeared.  He received the moniker “No Balls” due to his love of golf, for some odd reason!!  The hares were all too happy to give him a start on his shower before he left, especially with the help of the hose pipe!  Welcome to the Ascension Hash House Harriers, Ian, we hope you make it back soon to hash with us some more.

The evening continued with the arrival of the Cavaliers.  Madam Mardy pants is obviously after a Cavalier’s cap, what with helping herself to a beer from the cooler!  The remote control truck appeared again, much to the little kids’ delight.

            A great hash guys, tough one, but a good challenge!  Great Balls of Fire, we all hope you are recovering!!