Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1167
Submitted by The Islander (Soo Matthews) 26.07.2007 (Article Archived on 09.08.2007)
Some of you may not be familiar with the term ‘oxymoron’. It has nothing to do with Mad Cow Disease;
Hares: Major Ron and Little Crisis
Hounds: 100 Watt, Mildew, Lanky, Pumpy Pants, Dumber, Tim, I’m Easy, Cpl Spam, Eat my Shorts, Fall Guy, Fugitive, Yeti, Desert Rose, Uncle Fester, Will Bill Cock, 2 Cocks, Milk Me Mickey, Glitoris, Dot, Hole in One, Irish Whiskey, Buford T, Morse Monkey, Old Russian Git and Steph. (Apologies to any hashers missed out!)
Some of you may not be familiar with the term ‘oxymoron’. It has nothing to do with Mad Cow Disease; it is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as: ‘a figure of speech containing apparently contradictory terms.’ For example: ‘clearly confusing’, ‘happily miserable’, ‘Army Intelligence’ and ‘uneventful Hash’. And today’s hash was anything but uneventful
A group of intrepid, but very wary, Hounds met at the Picnic Bench for this latest Hash offering. Rumoured as ‘non-family-friendly’ this was, very strangely for a rumour, completely true. After a safety briefing as long as a normal hash (oops – another oxymoron there) the on-on was called and we immediately, and not at all surprisingly, set off up the hill. The FRBs disappeared quickly down the trail, leaving the Hounds in their dusty wake. At the first circle check it became quickly (and quite humorously) apparent that both Lanky and Mildew – the two shortest persons on the hash – had had run-ins with low tree branches, Mildew being saved by her hat, and Lanky now bleeding from a gash in his head. After a quick welfare check, it was established that the trees were undamaged and the on-on was called.
Shortly after the FRBs had disappeared, Major Ron insisted that those around him should ‘admire the view’, before bending over to adjust his footwear. We decided to look at the hills and beaches instead. After another very hard climb at what felt to many like an oxygen-starved altitude we made the next circle check with no further injuries. Blissfully, the path then took a turn in favour of gravity, and even some of the ‘slower’ Hounds became FRBs for a short while (we know who you are). A short breather through Banana Ravine provided a little light relief with some ‘transatlantic’ banter before we all pressed on and enjoyed some more stunning scenery. Soon enough the route took another upward turn, the effort not made any easier for those Hounds whose rucksacks were, by now, groaning under the weight of fresh ginger root…
Having lost some of the FRBs to a ‘planned’ detour, the rest of the group set off up the Water Catchment area and around the hill. It was here that the Hash stopped prematurely whilst some essential first aid was administered to Morse Monkey who, having heard a snap, thought that she had stood on a twig until she realised that she was five feet further down the slope than she remembered and had a more than normally floppy foot….Some much-needed comfort was provided immediately by Dumber, Mildew, Desert Rose, Steph and others – you know who you are, and Morse Monkey was very grateful at the time (although she didn’t always sound it!) It was not long after this that the ‘dashing’ FRBs quickly reappeared, having heard that there was a girl that needed to be picked up (I can’t help thinking that they may have misunderstood... ) With a marvellously coordinated effort from Milenko, Buford T, Yeti, Fugitive, 100 Watt, Lanky, Dot (great introduction to Hashing!), Uncle Fester and others, Morse Monkey was safely stretchered from what was one of the highest points of the entire Hash! Thanks also to Milenko, Alex, Eileen, Karen and Marianne at Georgetown Hospital for their prompt and professional treatment.
A (subdued) aprčs took place, and many sore muscles were finally rested after what was – all things considered – a hard but fair Hash. Many thanks to Major Ron and Little Crisis.
Next week: Patio 13. Please bring a plate of eats.
Hares: Yeti and Desert Rose.
PS Morse Monkey, Old Russian Git and Pyromanic are returning to the UK for some ‘running repairs.’ Stand by for the ‘Big Thank You’ Party at Zymotic House when they return!
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