Ascension : Hash Trash No: 1150
Submitted by The Islander (Raymond Ellick) 29.03.2007 (Article Archived on 12.04.2007)

The big question was – where are the regulars?

Hares: The Major, Buford T

Hounds:  Irish Whisky, Mildew, Uncle Fester, Kerb Crawler, Two Cocks, Rat Catcher, Wild Bill Cock, Yeti, Lanky, Gumby Two Scoops. 100 Watt, Canoodler, Desert Rose, Milk the Mickey, Choo Choo, Head Mistress, Hammer Head, Richard, J Edgar, Builder’s Bum, John, Sandra, Phil, Still Boss’s Toy Boy, Twig Meister,

Apres – Nip and Suck, Madam Mardy Pants, Little Chuffer, No Nuts, Plain Nuts, Pumpy Pants, Glitter Babe, Diane (side lined through injury)

(Apologies for anyone who was missed out or whose names are incorrect)

Butt Crater

The big question was – where are the regulars?  Had they been struck down by the vomiting bug?  Or the flu bug?  Lazing by the pool?  Abducted by aliens perhaps?  Or was the truth a little more sinister?  They were saving their strength and getting some last minute training for the triathlon in!  Cheeky souls!

After the usual warnings of hazards and a reminder about Vera being very sharp and prickly – Aloe-vera that is – the on-on was to the back of the building.  A warning to keep to the hash to avoid dropping off a steep cliff brought laughter about last week’s lack of hash!!  We were promised an easy hash bearing in mind tomorrow’s strenuous activities.  And easy it was too.  A gentle stroll with a few ups and downs along the valley. 

This allowed everyone to talk about tomorrow and their training schedules and worries about being able to complete their sections of the race.  This was a great mutual support group for the adventurous competitors and made those not taking part feel either very glad or very sad that they weren’t.

At one point The Major pointed out where he’d wanted to set the hash – up towards some ash trees (or something – the writer was a bit too busy catching up with gossip to keep up with the path we were actually following!).  However, he decided to keep it simple this week and keep the other one for a few week’s time.  That’ll be a real treat in store.

This hash as surprisingly without incident. Worryingly so in fact!  After meandering along the gash and up the slight hill we found ourselves back on the road.  The runners had the opportunity to stretch their legs by crossing the road and heading towards the tower and on around a well known loop back to the start.  Meanwhile the gossips followed the road with some even stretching themselves to a bit of a jog along the way.

Back at the start we formed the circle of friendship for Phil who after much discussion and a real soaking became Stinky Pinky.  Buford T proposed a punishment for those who cheated and failed to follow the hash.  After much protesting Yeti succumbed and drank his beer like a man.  Headmistress passed on I’m Easy’s hello to everyone.  Meanwhile the music got underway with the National Anthem being played for Wild Bill Cock.

It was a sad day as it was Builder’s Bum’s last hash.  Buford T, being the cheeky chappie he is, went a sneaky way about lighting the obligatory fire to burn the boots and 100 Watt took a moment or two to realise that it was indeed his bum that was getting a little warm!  We will all miss you Builder’s Bum and wish you all the best.  The party went on long into the night.  A little too long for some as performances on Sunday showed!  Enough said Buford T!

Next Week – Two Boats Bungalow A3 (Pete Gillies’ house)

Hares – Uncle Fester