Ascension : Hash Trash for 12 August (Sorry Forrest) - Hash No. 1118
Submitted by The Islander (Gary Robinson) 24.08.2006 (Article Archived on 28.09.2006)

The hounds gathered at Uncle Fester’s swinging bungalow to get the low down on the on-on

Hares: Fugitive, Uncle Fester, Voodoo Doll, Glitirous

Hounds: Forrest Gump, Private Benjamin, Walkie Talkie, Builders Bum, Easy Rider, Goat, Pimp My Ride, Great Balls of Fire, Going Down, Go Go Gadget, I’m Easy, Red Light Queen, Twiddle Dumb, Twiddle Dumber, 100 Watt, Barby Boy, Chastity Belt, Pumpy Pants, Roly Poly, Snow Dogs, Josh Turner, Cads Cadmore, Bob the Builder, Mildew, Passing Wind, Ariel

Apres: Yeti, Wild Bill Cock, Chief Pimp, Ollie, Danny, Oh That Woman, Frogmella

The hounds gathered at Uncle Fester’s swinging bungalow to get the low down on the on-on. Uncle Fester instructed the hounds on the hazards we would encounter and they were too many to name. It sounded like we were in for a rough one. But as we were about to leave, he said there is an option for the folks that don’t want to do the first rough bit. Who does this hare think we are; we are the Ascension Island Hounds and we can handle anything, just about?

Uncle Fester said the on-on was over the fence and up-up Thistle Hill. Were there any takers for the option, no not one? If the Hares can do it so can we. As we started out we encountered a traffic jam entering the on ramp for Thistle Hill. As it were, we had a lot of hounds that were in a hurry to get on with the on-on and it took a while to get the whole group across the fence. Once across, we all started up the steep climb, up Thistle Hill. Fugitive with his merry FRB’s were having a time of it getting up the hill.

We made our way across Thistle Hill in the direction of the Two Boats land mark, where we encountered our first circle check. For a small hill it took a while for all the hounds to make it, but we were determined to stick together. Uncle Fester exclaimed that the next leg of the on-on would split the hounds and the FRB’s. It looked like there was only one way to go from here and that was up-up again. Sure enough Uncle Fester said the on-on was up-up Dampier’s Drip. Fugitive led the FRB’s on another route going up the Green Mountain switch backs. As they departed Forrest Gump exclaimed, run Passing Wind run. Passing wind is just passing through to see Mildew and 100 Watt.

As the hounds headed up Dampier’s Drip, Great Balls of Fire and Chastity Belt blazed the trail for the rest of the hounds. As we got closer to the top we could here the FRB’s in the distance making all kinds of sounds. Fugitive was getting that bunch fired up about all the hard climbing and the fast running that lay ahead. All of a sudden the FRB’s came out of the bushes to meet us at the next circle check.

What way do we go now, up-up again or down-down. Uncle Fester pointed in the direction on Northeast Bay road and said the on-on was down-down. The FRB’s took off down the hill with reckless abandon, and the hounds cautiously made their way down the slippery scree run. I’m Easy made it look easy, because she has been on many a scree run. Forrest Gump followed her foot steps trying to learn a thing or two. Forrest hit a slippery patch of scree and yelled out to Red Light Queen, who was right behind him, what lay ahead, but she almost landed on her bum. Forrest exclaimed you never know what you will get on a scree run. As we entered the pines we came to another junction and waited for our instruction from Uncle Fester. As we were waiting, Fugitive slipped quietly in another direction, and Ariel asked where is Fugitive; she said Oh! there he is as she peaked between the trees. hehe

Uncle Fester, pointed in the direction of the Northeast Bay road once again except this time the on-on was flat-flat. We needed a break after all the up-up we had done. As we got closer to Northeast road we had to cross some type of fence with black wires. Forrest gave Pimp My Ride a hand as she crossed the wires and told her to not touch them because they were electrified; just kidding Forrest said.

We came to our last junction on the trail and Uncle Fester said that we had another option; do we take the easy road or the hard road. Once again the FRB’s and the hounds said they would take the hard road. Boy, what a hard road it was, as Glitirous and Forrest stayed back to give Private Benjamin some support to get through the obstacle course. As we got to the top we could see that the end-end was in site.

Break out the BBQ and the side dishes too, we’ve had a long hash and we are ready to eat. We started to fill our plates and lick our lips when Midew said there was some hash business at hand. She said we have another sorry soul in our midst that needs to be brought into our group and given a name. Kim walked to the middle of the circle of friendship and wondered do I really want to do this. The hounds finally agreed on a name and it was unanimous, Pimp My Ride is her name and what a fine name it is. Then with the sound of artic air, the glacier water came crashing down on Pimp My Ride.

Yeti and Wild Bill Cock had stayed back to get the BBQ ready, because they said they had bad backs and they needed the rest. What! Fugitive said these two hounds are Chicken ______! for not coming on the hash. What have these two hound dogs been doing to hurt there little ole backs.

Well the party lasted well into the night at Uncle Fester’s swinging bungalow. Thanks for the Great Hash and a swinging good time, Uncle Fester, Fugitive, Voodoo Doll and Giltirous. Voodoo Doll had stubbed her toe and had to stay back also, but our hearts went out to her and we wished her a speedy recovery. Hurry back Voodoo Doll, we miss you.