Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No. 1116
Submitted by The Islander (Gary Robinson) 03.08.2006 (Article Archived on 17.08.2006)

The hounds collected at Columniation Tower, apprehensive about what lay ahead on this week’s hash.

Hares:  Goat and Forrest Gump

Hounds:  Mildew, Yeti, Fugitive, Twiddle Dumb, Twiddle Dumber, I’m Easy, Red Light Queen, Chastity Belt, Voodoo Doll, Jiggy with it, Uncle Fester, Rocks Off, Barby Boy, Wild Bill Cock, Hash Head, Chili White Shoes Johnson, Builders Bum, Poltergeist, Psycho Nuts, Walkie Talkie, BOB, Kim, Janice, Roel, Al, Eileen

Apres: Mr. Potato Head, Arty Farty, Grease Lighting, Little Mermaid, Butter Cup, Chief Pimp, Oh That Woman, Frogmella

The hounds collected at Columniation Tower, apprehensive about what lay ahead on this week’s hash seeing  two ominous mountains in front them.  We almost lost some of the hounds as the hazards were barked out by Goat and Forrest Gump, slippery bits, uneven ground, and cliff edges, Oh My! Oh My! and to bit, a special hazard warning sign laid on the trail.  What had we gotten ourselves into?

Which way were we going to go, up or down?  Goat barked out that the on-on was down-down.  The FRBs took off down the road but their lighting speed didn’t help with all the slippery bits and uneven road.  The hounds just took their time because they knew they would catch up to the rabbits later.  The on-on went down-down and then up-up as we followed the road to Weather Post. 

Finally we reached a junction in the road, now which way do we go?  Up-up or down-down, once again it was down-down.  We started going around the rim of Devil’s Cauldron, with the wind howling, Jiggy with it and several others thought they would be blown into the crater.  The FRBs and hounds carefully placed each step wary of the hazards that were in front of them and side to side.

At last we made it to the mid way point where Goat and Forrest Gump had made a special warning sign that warned not to go past a certain point or you would tumble down the cliff to spire beach.  What a spectacular view of Boatswain Berg!  Get your cameras out it’s time for an Ascension moment.

Now as we circled the rim of Devils Cauldron we could see there was only one way out, up-up the side of Weather Post.  The FRBs and the hounds had to crawl their way up the side of weather post.   Voodoo Doll, huffing and puffing got out her sewing kit and quickly made a Voodoo doll of Forrest Gump and started poking pins in it, because of the rough hash that he and Goat had set.  Forrest Gump could feel the pain of the pins as he looked into the fierce gaze of Voodoo Dolls eyes. hehe

Finally we made it to the top of Weather Post and sat down as we looked over into the mammoth opening of Devil’s Cauldron.  No more chatting mates, we’ve got to get down Weather Post and to Columniation Tower before night fall catches up with us. Bruised and beaten, warn and tattered we scurried to the refreshments that were tucked away in the tower.  Mildew squeaked with exhaustion if there was any hash business at hand.  Yes, we have five sorry souls that are leaving us.  It’s sad but we must say goodbye to Arty Farty, Grease Lighting, Little Mermaid, Butter Cup and Rocks Off.  With great sadness we all said our goodbyes, and then we proceeded to party on! 

Forrest Gump, Chile White Shoes Johnson, Rocks Off, Builders Bum, and Wild Bill Cock started a bonfire to keep us warm, light up the night and by the way, lay to rest one of the sorry soul’s shoes which was Rocks Off.  We watched as they went up in a blaze of glory.  Forrest, Rocks Off and Builders Bum kept stoking the fire to keep it going.  Fugitive backed up his donkey to the tower and turned on some tunes to liven up the night.  It was a selection that the Turtle Girls (Can Do, Might Do and Will Do) had made for us.  We could feel their presence and their spirit as each song rang out.  Then we changed to some reggae tunes and Janice, Roel, Fugitive and Al showed us a move or two mon.  If you know what I mean mon!  The party went long into the night!  Great hash Goat and Forrest Gump; thanks for the cardio work.

Next Week: MET Office (Air Head)

Hares: Chastity Belt, Mr. Potato Head