Ascension : Hash No: 1089
Submitted by The Islander (Nathan Prince) 26.01.2006 (Article Archived on 09.02.2006)

A large group gathered in the late afternoon heat (summer has definitely arrived!) all ready for what everyone expected to be a long hash, considering who the hares were!

Hash No:  1089

Hares:  The Major & Skipper

Hounds:  Greased Lightning, Septic Peg, Hash Banana, TwigMeister, Lucy Lastic, Choo Choo, Bosses Toy Boy, 100 Watt, Chief Pimp, Mildew, Miss Piggy, Pippi Longstocking, Scarface, Eat My Shorts, Bogs and Drains, Bloodsucker, Gumby-Two Scoops, Yeti, Mr. Potato Head, Lady Pooh, Puff Grannie, Forrest Gump, Martin, Wallace, Grommitt, Winnie, Simon, Chloe, Short’n’Sweet, Woodswrecker, Colonel Spam, I’m Easy, Gabby, Easy Rider, Wild Bill Cock, Walkie Talkie, Psycho Nuts, Rhesus Andy, Layla, Sheba & Badger

Apres Hashers:  Hoochie Mama, Arty Farty, Shirley, Buttercup, Steve, Little Mermaid, Cycopath, Moana Lisa

A large group gathered in the late afternoon heat (summer has definitely arrived!) all ready for what everyone expected to be a long hash, considering who the hares were!  We were warned that there were a couple of routes at the start:  a runner’s route, a long walkers route and a walkers & talkers route!  The first on-on sent us back up the Comfortless Cove road to where we had all seen some buses waiting!  It was a tight squeeze into the buses, but we all made it, including the dogs!

            The buses finally disgorged their assorted cargo somewhere along the English bay Road.  Immediately the runners took off in the direction of the distant hills.  All of the walkers opted for the longer route and off we went along the blue pipeline!  We eventually ended up by the culverts beside the golf course where we finally found a circle check. 

            After that, the choice was over the road or through the culverts.  Quite a few brave (or stupid) souls chose the culverts, which proved to be a knee-killing crawl through a sheep’s toilet!  As we finally emerged into fresh air, it was a pleasure to be able to stand upright once more.  Then it was off through the lava fields.

            A circle check or two later, we were passed by the runners who had caught up after having been led on a rather long, uphill climb, straight into a nasty back arrow!  As they passed us, they were huffing and puffing quite heavily.  At the next circle check, we all managed to have a bit of a rest before the route took a turn towards Georgetown.  Wait a minute – Comfortless Cove is the other direction!!

            On we went, heading for the sea, but ever away from the distant vehicles.  Eventually we turned up at the old gun implacement where we found a nice cooler box full of beer and sodas, which got gulped down rather quickly.  After that, the route finally headed towards Comfortless Cove, along the track.  Expecting a nice leisurely amble back, we were soon led astray, and the real fun began. 

            Instead of an easy stroll home, we were led to the edge of the ocean and started picking our way gingerly through the rocks.  Up, down, up again, and on it went.  We scrambled down one rocky incline, only to crawl back up!!  In a few places, hashers seemed to miss the trail, and were seen gingerly blazing their own.  We finally reached the cliff above the cemetery, and down we descended.  All except Gumby-Two Scoops, who managed to miss a turn and was seen sliding down a really steep embankment!!

            Finally, it was out behind the cove, where a number of hashers decided a dip was definitely in order.  A nice refreshing end to a hot and dusty hash!  By the time they were coaxed out of the water (and that included the dogs!) great curry and other treats had appeared.  Everyone dug in after having worked up quite an appetite on the hash!!

            After everyone was refreshed it was time to draw the circle of friendship.  Some sorry souls needed to be named.  Khiya will now be known as Pippi Longstocking, while Liam claimed the moniker Eat My Shorts…okay.  Their parents were next into the circle, and careers (or former careers) aided the group in finding appropriate names.  Colin will forever be known in the world of hashing as Bogs and Drains, while Leah has been christened with the hash name Colonel Spam.  With the usual chilly, breath-stealing welcome, they are now official members of the Ascension Hash House Harriers.  Welcome aboard!  There were a couple of other candidates, but it was decided to wait another week to make it a family affair – and give time for more careful consideration of good names!!

            It wasn’t long before the Cavaliers made an appearance, and the fun continued.  Another great hash, Major and Skipper!!

Next Week: Donkey Plain, by the rock crushing plant.  

Hares:  Mal & Greased Lightning (watch out for those back arrows!!) Please bring something for the barbecue!!