Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No:1046
Submitted by The Islander (Gavin Yon) 23.03.2005 (Article Archived on 06.04.2005)

Another difficult hash was promised, but there was still a good crowd of hardy hashers ready to tackle whatever the hares could throw at them.

Hash No: 1046

Hares:  100 Watt, Major & Jim

Hounds:  Uncle Fester, Bloodsucker, Gumby, Hanky Spanky, La Femme Fenomenal, Heathcliff, Yeti, Miss Piggy, Oh Matron, Morticia, Little Crisis, Puff Grannie, Easy Rider, Going Down, Deputy Dawg, Chicken Licker, Three Bulls Humping, Colonel Klinka, Mildew, Psycho Nuts

            Another difficult hash was promised, but there was still a good crowd of hardy hashers ready to tackle whatever the hares could throw at them.  The usual hazard warnings, and then it was on-on from the Bullock’s Pond Car Park, going uphill of course. 

            The first circle check found us by the road, but then we turned inland again, and ever on-on upwards it seemed.  A few were winded by the time we made it to the pond, and appeared to be making an unscheduled stop to catch their breath.  Of course, they were only caught by the slowest of the bunch, and they weren’t going to tell!

            After we crawled to the top of the embankment, it was along the top of the hill for a while.  A few of the knitting circle got even slower, and at the next circle check, only Mildew and Chicken Licker were waiting for Going Down and Bloodsucker.  The FRB’s had taken off to a locale all their own, while the rest of the hounds headed back home along the walkers trail.  Apparently towards the end, there was a bit of a road race, with Gumby taking the lead and hitting the carpark first, closely followed by Uncle Fester, Miss Piggy and Puff Grannie.

            While this was all going on, the slow foursome was blazing a trail on their own, having lost the hash, and then being further confused by the presence of old hash.  Eventually they made it back home to find the rest were already devouring the great grub.  They were, however, still ahead of the runners, all brave four of them who hadn’t made it back yet. 

            Eventually, the FRBs, 100 Watt, Yeti, Psycho Nuts and Jim were spotted as tiny dots near the top of the mountain.  Disappearing and reappearing a few times, they dropped out of sight altogether for a while, until they finally staggered in along the road.  Red in the face, they were relieved to find that we hadn’t gobbled all the grub, at least not all the liquid refreshments!! 

            As this was Oh Matron’s last hash with us, it was time for a boot burying ceremony.  Since no shovel was at hand, and we knew that 100 Watt would just dig them up and burn them anyway, we skipped the hard part, doused them with brandy and set fire to them.  When the brandy didn’t seem to have too much effect, Yeti came to the rescue with a can of lighter fluid.  Soon, they were blazing, and Chicken Licker was soon adding wood for a bonfire!  Good luck in all your future endeavours, Oh Matron, we’ll miss you – especially when the turtle flies are about!

            Great hash, guys!  A special thank-you to Jim, whose first introduction to hashing was to help set a great one.  Should we be worried??

Next Week:  NASA site (old generator huts)

Hares:  Psycho Nuts and his trusted sidekick!