Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash 1418
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 05.07.2012 (Article Archived on 19.07.2012)

Getting to the hash caused a few problems this week. Old Golly Waddler and crew were overheating on the NASA hills so had to pull over and wait for the steam to cool down.

Hare: Hairy Leftovers

Hounds: Over ‘n’ Done With, Daddy’s Dough Balls, The Last Turtle Head of Doom, Dipstick, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Treckie, Boozy Head, Old Golly Waddler, No Idea,

Bladerunner, Phil and Liam

Getting to the hash caused a few problems this week.  Old Golly Waddler and crew were overheating on the NASA hills so had to pull over and wait for the steam to cool down.  There was room for Liam with a passing hasher but the others had to wait.  Bladerunner to the rescue, picked up the other waiting passengers and they continued towards the starting point at Cricket Valley.  But, when Bladerunner saw the puddles on the track, he refused to get his wheels dirty and all were evicted to walk the track towards the starting point.  Thanks once again to Over‘n’Done with who was returning to collect the stricken tribe.

At the last, the hash was ready to begin, but where was the hare?  No sign of Hairy leftovers and only a brief excuse given by his siblings; ‘he’d broken his finger’.  The Last Turtle Head of Doom wasn’t happy with the explanation of what Hairy one had been doing when he broke the finger and wanted to know exactly what he’d been dancing to, how he was dancing and where he was dancing.  All details can be gained for a price.  Hairy leftovers – prepare to be teased (or renamed)!

Obviously, there would be no hash to follow (after all, you can’t throw hash with a broken finger), but the on-on was called and hashers set off down the track, past the Spire Beach track junction (phew)! But the youthful leaders took a variation left towards the white Horse or Louis’s Ledge tracks.  Hashers were soon reminded how much they had missed the mournful sound of Bladerunner’s vuvuzela.  Saint Helena will now be a quieter place since he had been playing it up and down the streets at home, which also explained why the people TLTHOD paid to search his room couldn’t find it.

It was on this section, Phil admitted he hadn’t done many of these routes since his scouting days.  Bladerunner hadn’t introduced his brother – yet perhaps on a closer look the eyebrows may have given it away.  Anyway, it turns out that Phil knows Old Golly Waddler’s sister (Canoodler)  both from Ascension and Cyrus.  And, he thought Old Golly was the YOUNGER sibling.  Opps, easy mistake to make but this sensitive area is the whole reason she was named OLD Golly (sorry sis – just had to get that in)!

An impromptu circle check brought the group together again.  The route to Louis ledge was pointed out.  It’s actually very safe and well worth the views but perhaps another day!  On –on was definitely leading us up the White Horse.  We had been warned about the section of path which had eroded due to some plant movement.  One at a time, we climbed the gully to avoid falling rocks.  Daddy Dough Balls thought better and quickly climbed round, nimbly followed by the others, leaving No Idea stranded in the middle.  Any true gentleman would have helped…

At the letterbox, the young ones stamped their arms, torso, visible cheeks and ensured they were tattooed all over.  They scribbled in the book and ran off to look over the edge of the cliff.  Closely followed by Boozy Head.  When the more mature members arrived, the stamp was cleaned, book checked and read, pens replaced and all zipped safely into the plastic wallet for the next remote visitor.  Dipstick and the ladies didn’t want to see if they could see the new flags on Boatswain Bird view and decided they couldn’t wait any longer so began their careful ascent.

On–on and a reminder not to stray from the path, not to let the young ones lead anyone astray and not to kick rocks onto those below.  If rocks are moving then the instruction would be to shout ‘below’ so that they turn around …and the rock would hit them in the face…hmmm!

At last, back at the starting point, but the munchies had been left in Bladrunner’s car next to the puddles.  All move.  The kegs were out, and hash business began.  Hash master seems to have forgotten his duties while away and without the spiritual leader, hashers have been getting away with all areas of disrespect to hashing tradition.  Once again, get well wishes were offered to Hairy Leftovers, after another detailed retelling of the precise nature of his injury and how it was caused was called for.  The bandaging however, has to be seen to be believed!  Idle Treckie was exploring the vegetation, collecting wood for the fire, his brother thought taking up bonsai may be a better idea.  Perhaps we will see the results in another 20 years time.

Some had parties to go to, and needed a (literal) push off.  The party soon dispersed ensuring everyone had a lift round the mountain.  We will have to get a copy of the universal unwritten rules of hashing for one of them must include the spillage of liquids on the soil. 

Thanks to all, a great hash, even If we were merely ‘track followers’.

Next Week:  US Base – behind the cinema screen  4.30

It is traditional to have a run up and down the hill at this 4th July event.                                                                                                                                                                                                                OGW

Post Script. 

We have now been sent a copy of the rock which looks like a chicken which marks the Echo Canyon letterbox which we couldn’t find – and it really does look like a chicken!