Ascension : Hash Trash
Submitted by The Islander (Nathan Prince) 18.03.2004 (Article Archived on 01.04.2004)

Hash No. 995 - March 13, 2004

Hash No. 995                                    March 13, 2004

Hares:  Ultrasonic, Mr. Bubbles, Batman, Bart Simpson & Dolphin Diva

Hounds:  Talking Head, Uncle Fester, Fugitive, Baywatch Babe, Budweiser Belly, Pirate, Woodswrecker, Oh That Woman, Goat, 100 Watt, Mildew, Lollipop Man, Private Benjamin, Resus Andy, Little Miss Naughty, Shaggy, Welsh Rabbit, Mr. Pastry, Major, Skipper, Puff Grannie, Frank’n’Furter, Fido, Dick Head, Gumby, Bloodsucker, Chief Longpole

Apres Hashers: Heathcliff, La Femme Fenomenal, Yeti

A good crowd gathered at the NASA site, looking forward to a cooler hash.  When it was discovered just how many hares it had taken to set the hash, however, everyone got a tad bit nervous.  The huddle, and its long list of hazards, including prickly stuff, loose footing, steep drops and a bunch of other assorted hazards, did nothing to ease our minds.  Then it was on-on down the road to the first circle check, which occurred just as we veered off the road.

It didn’t take the FRB’s long to find the first back arrow, even if it was a rather nasty distance down the track.  Then it was back the way we came, and off into the brush.  Luckily for the slower among the pack, there were a good number of circle checks, allowing them to catch up.  It was over the rocks, through the cactus and guava, circling around the NASA site.  Eventually we found the bit with the sharp drop, but a few avoided that hazard by following Frank’n’Furter on a dubious shortcut.

The road finally appeared, and it was time for the runners and walkers to split off.  The walkers headed straight up the road, eager to get back to the refreshments.  The more adventurous (or foolish) among us continued on following the hash.  It led up quite a ways over slippery rocks, but this was nothing compared to what was to come.  As usual for Ascension, if you go up you must come down (and vice versa) and the coming down was the real challenge of the hash.

First it was loose rocks that the hounds had to negotiate, then it was larger, somewhat more solid rocks.  The only catch was that those were covered with nice, slippery moss.  A few hounds had some close calls, but it seemed everyone managed to stay relatively upright.  Then came the loose klinka, and finally a welcome circle check.  Lulled into thinking the worst was behind us, we all took off eagerly towards the track we could see in the distance.

The last fifteen feet or so proved to be the greatest challenge.  The steep slippery drop claimed a few victims, including Private Benjamin and Little Miss Naughty.  Fugitive again attempted to come to her rescue but his reflexes were a little slower this week.  Then it was off following a suspicious trail of hash.  Sure enough, around the corner lay another back arrow!  When the pack got turned around, it was straight out to the main road, and then straight on for home!

Everyone relaxed with drinks and munchies.  More than a couple of people got suckered into trying the delicacy of nuts in Wasabi sauce, resulting in some interesting expressions.  Apparently they are just a little hot!  Baywatch Babe and the others provided a nice barbecue, well deserved after the long hash.  A nice evening followed, with the Cavaliers making an appearance.  Great job on the hash, everyone.  Those kids have a great future ahead of them!

Next week:  Deadman’s Beach

Hares:  Goat & Major