Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1341
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 10.06.2010 (Article Archived on 24.06.2010)

Well, it was a small, but hardy crowd who braved the elements and refused to allow the inclement weather to keep them from hashing!

Hash No:  1341

Hares:  Baggage Boy & Man Beater

Hounds:  Ged, Wee Chopper, Messy Queen, Winey Chopper, Uncle Fester, Bloodsucker, Lab Rat, Moaning Angel, Secret Squirrel, Madam Mardy Pants, Lanky, Ole Gollywaddler, Nip’n’Suck, Little Chuffer,  Sniffy

Well, it was a small, but hardy crowd who braved the elements and refused to allow the inclement weather to keep them from hashing!  We gathered at the parking lot below the windmills and it didn’t take long for the little ones to take advantage of the mud puddles to have a little bit of fun!  The hash huddle brought the warning of, guess what??  Slippery rocks, slippery climbs, and slippery everything.  We were promised just one climb (a bit of an understatement) and not much Mexican thorn.  Yeah, right!

Off we went in the pouring rain down the track.  Not too long into it, we turned off and headed over the rocky plains.  For the slower folks, Sniffy led us on a bit of a shortcut which included trekking through some of thorn trees – so much for the warning!

The first of six circle checks (yes…..six!!) found us at the skeet range looking straight at the big hill.  Of course, the hash led up the hill.  At this point Lanky and the little ones decided it was time to reroute themselves back the way they came.  The others plodded on, with the FRBs way out in front!  We’d been warned that due to the weather, it was going to be an “every hasher for themselves” hash, and this was turning out to be true!

Up, up we all went, to the top of the hill.  Then it was across rocks and through mucky, muddy flat bits.  And we all thought the only place to find mud like that was on the top of Green Mountain!  Of course, it made climbing the rocky escarpments a bit tougher, dragging a few extra pounds of mud stuck to our boots!! 

By the time we made it to the third circle check, it was time to sign the Devil’s Riding School letterbox book!  By now, the rain had pretty much stopped.  The FRBs, soaked as they were, and getting chilled in the wind, had departed, leaving the slower folks on their own.  Moaning Angel, getting off to a delayed start, had caught up with the WATs, but soon disappeared over the other side.  Secret Squirrel decided to find an easier route home, and was last seen heading across Devil’s Riding School to the road.  Messy Queen figured his best bet was to return the way he’d come, and turned around.

This left a small but determined group following the hash.  Wee Chopper took off in front, only to be spotted in the distance a few times shouting helpful instructions.  The slowest of the slow, four ladies, plodded on.   Luckily, enough of the hash remained to enable them to find their way for the most part. 

On and on the hash went (wait, aren’t the windmills still behind us???), across rocks, down washes (for once awash with water), and through more muck and mud.  Finally the hornetos by Booby Hill and the final circle check were reached by the fearless foursome.  The old and new hash in the area caused a bit of confusion, and since the light was fading after two hours of hashing, it was decided to just follow the track home.  Hash was encountered along the way. 

From there it was back up the track to the windmills (obviously this long uphill was not counted in the instructions!).  The last hashers managed to stumble into the parking area (arms outstretched demanding beer!) after two and half hours!!  At least the rain had stopped long enough that they’d pretty much dried out!

Although a few left to get dried out or head on to other engagements, a hardy few remained to party on until the Tilley lamp expired!  It was a great hash – a unique opportunity on Ascension to do things like ford streams, slog through mud, and see running water!  Including a few little waterfalls – a rarity for this island!  Well done Baggage Boy and Man Beater.  Well worth getting soaked to see the sights!

Next Week:  Garden Cottage (bring your camping gear!)

Hares:  Ole Gollywaddler & Wood’n’Pecker