Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1294
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 11.02.2010 (Article Archived on 25.02.2010)

Well, this was a special hash – time to put on our finest hash formal attire and celebrate the last year of hashing!!

Hash No:  1294        

Hares:  Wood’n’Pecker & Mucky Digger

Hounds; Old Gollywaddler, Mucky Princess, Lanky, Nip’n’Suck, Little Chuffer, Madam Mardy Pants, Headmistress, Pole Dancer, Whatever Minga, Morganosaurus, Mr. Fluffy, Bossy Balls, Channel Hopper, Plonker, Wonkie Willy, Oompah Loompah, Skinny Butt, Pussy Foot, Bush Hugger, Dipstick, Gumby-Two Scoops, Bloodsucker, Man Beater, Moaning Angel, Premature Launch, Rod, Ann, Callum, Hamish, Lab Rat, Madam Balls Up, Petal Spice, Ian, Not Quite A Jarhead, Rob, Uncle Fester

Apres Hashers:  Over & Done With, Beaver Diva, Cohen

Well, this was a special hash – time to put on our finest hash formal attire and celebrate the last year of hashing!!  Everyone gathered at the IDL Beach Hut at North East Bay, ready to hash and then party!  We were warned of rocks, cliff faces and water…….. but assured that this hash was reccied by Mucky Digger, so how hard could it be??  The FRBs were also instructed to actually wait at each circle check!  Could they follow directions this week?  We’d see…….

On-on it was towards the Ariane Site, across the rocks to the first circle check at the first beach hut.  A couple of hounds were caught with their hands on their hips, and it was drop and give us ten push-ups for Gumby-Two Scoops and Man Beater!  They made it look easy!

Then it was on-on across the beach and then around the rocks.  Things got a little confused in a few places.  It seems that the high tide had obliterated part of the route – or that was the excuse!  A few hardy souls braved the waves and managed to follow what was left of the hash, right along the coast.  A great boulder hop in quite a few places!!

The next circle check found a couple more unwary hounds doing pushups, including Pussy Foot and Rob.  Rob was especially impressive considering the last few were completed with Hamish along for the ride!  Then it was time to head inland to the next circle check, the route to which followed a fairly complex and circuitous route up to a lamp post!  The FRBs had headed out on their own detour, but as usual, it didn’t appear that they had followed the hares’ directions.

For the rest, it was a choice of the longer, but easier route back along the road or what most, however, chose - the most direct route across the rocks.  Before too long, it was back onto the track to the beach hut, where Izzy & Nicky were cooking up a feast!  Everyone changed into their hash formal attire, which consists of hash clothing below the waist, and your best spiffy attire on top.  Lots of smart tops appeared, with purple definitely being the colour of choice for the ladies!  The men all looked quite handsome in their ties and some even had sports coats!  A few bow ties, and even a cummerbund was in sight!

All sorts of goodies were laid out for the hungry hashers – truly a great feast to kick off the celebration.  The circle of friendship was drawn in the sand as it was time to welcome Kyle into the world of hashdom.  Due to a reported brief stint in the military he earned the moniker “Almost a Jarhead”! 

Then it was time for the awards.  Since there was a problem with the power, the hares were determined to get through the rather lengthy list while there was still daylight!  Old Gollywaddler took over from her other half quite determinedly……. Bossy Balls suggested that maybe there ought to be a name swap!!

The first awards were for the best hash bash formal attire, with Uncle Fester’s red bow tie and cummerbund, and his snappy black shirt getting the most votes!  Madam Mardy Pants walked away with the award for the ladies – seems that the tiara was the crowning touch!

Awards were given out for a number of accomplishments – the first group were for hares who put their hounds through the paces – longest hash, toughest hash, shortest hash, most injuries on a hash, most lost folks, and so on!  Then came a group of awards for other somewhat dubious accomplishments by hounds – best Ascension Butt Slide technique, Hash Stripper, and the list went on!  Many good memories were celebrated, and toasts to a lot of hashers who had “moved” on were drunk. 

The evening was great fun, and a huge thanks needs to go out to our hash master Wood’n’Pecker and his able assistant Old Gollywaddler for a fantastic hash, and a great Hash Bash!  Thanks to Izzy and Nicky for the great food.  And thanks to all the hares over the past year who have kept us exploring parts of this island we’d probably never see otherwise.  Thanks to all our fellow hash house harriers who have made Saturday afternoons so much fun!!  For those who’ve “moved” on to new adventures, we raise a toast to you all and thank you for joining us while you were here!

Here’s to another great year of hashing on Ascension!!

Next Week:  Mars Bay.

Hares:  Pussy Foot & Premature Launch (their reward for winning the prize for never following the hash!!)