Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1284
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 26.11.2009 (Article Archived on 10.12.2009)

It was a dark and stormy night……. No wait…… It was a wet and soggy afternoon…… But it never rains on Ascension, does it? Well, it certainly rained on the hashers this time, although it didn’t seem to dull the enthusiasm of the hounds.

Hash No: 1284

Hares:  Madam Balls Up, Lab Rat

Hounds:  100 Watt, Mildew, Bloodsucker, Oompah Loompah, Stinky Nuts, DipStick, Wonky Willy, Pole Dancer, Whatever Minga, Poker Face, Pussy Foot, Old Gollywaddler, Mucky Princess, Moaning Angel, Man Beater, Channel Hopper, Bossy Balls, Kiss the Guns, Beaver Diva, Over & Done With, Bea, Tom, Lanky, Madam Mardy Pants, Nip’n’Suck, James, Gay Baggage, Pee Mouldy, Just Fish, Batter, Chief Bald Eagle, Bullitt

Apres Hasher: Whopper Chopper

It was a dark and stormy night……. No wait…… It was a wet and soggy afternoon…… But it never rains on Ascension, does it?  Well, it certainly rained on the hashers this time, although it didn’t seem to dull the enthusiasm of the hounds.  A good crowd turned up at Zymotic, ready to go regardless of the weather!  Lots of yellow shirts & teddies in tow in support of Children in Need Day.

The hazard warnings were loose rocks, and considering the liquid sunshine, wet, slippery rocks!  With that, it was on-on out the front, and off towards the beach.  A few different methods to get across the sand of Deadman’s, but all made it to the first circle check intact!  The impatient FRBs were already departing by the time the slower WATs arrived.  Then it was off across the old track to the area of Catherine’s Point.  Just past that point Tamar’s Castle was pointed out as a great spot for chips from the VC on a nice evening! Thanks for sharing with us, Mucky Princess! 

The on-on got a little tougher after that as we started experiencing the “loose” rocks.  And climbing at that….. then across more loose rocks to find the next circle check.  The FRBs were long gone, and the WATs had spread out quite a bit by then, and apparently one of the hares had forgotten to stay behind with the slow pokes!  Since the rain was coming down pretty hard by then, most of the crew headed out, leaving Gay Baggage behind with Pee Mouldy to wait for the rest of his clan.

From there we carefully followed the spoonfuls of hash mixed in amongst the white mould on the rocks and found our way out to the main road.  Apparently the FRBs had crossed the road and headed inland, but the WATs were ready to head to dry land, so it was off down the Queen’s Highway, and across behind the houses to Zymotic.  Madam Mardy Pants tried to prove that it was possible to water-ski on Ascension along the way!  A lot of passing cars must have wondered about the sanity of the soggy crowd making their way down the highway!

A very wet and squishy bunch of hashers arrived home to huddle under the cover of the porch.  Some were even far-sighted enough to bring dry clothes while the rest shivered in their soggy togs.  Lots of food and refreshments made the misery bearable, it must be said!  There was some concern about the still missing Chipp family, but eventually they showed up to join us!

It seems that Whopper Chopper has the talent of running so fast that the rain can’t catch him!  He appeared well after the rest had finished, completely dry!  Hmmm…….

Great hash Lab Rat and Madam Blass Up! 

Next Week: A secret location, apparently…… check with the Chipps!

Hares:  Chipp Family

This week the hash will be from Pillar Bay car park.  It is not child friendly although there are lots of nice bimbles nearby for little legs.