Ascension : News From The Grotto - 1st Sunday of Lent
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 05.03.2009 (Article Archived on 19.03.2009)

I’ve had a few conversations with friends this past week about what we were giving up for Lent.

                 With what happened with my family, I have to admit, it really hadn’t crossed my mind at all.  On Thursday night at dinner, a friend and I joked that we would give up our chronic insomnia for Lent.  Curiously, we both slept better that night!

                On the hash I talked about it with a couple of other friends.  One has given up alcohol, while his wife has given up watching television.  He asked me what I was giving up, and I had to admit nothing like that.  I think that what I am going to try to give up is something more nebulous, not so defined.  I am going to try to not worry so much about things that ultimately don’t really matter. 

                I’m not really that much of a worrier, but I admit to stressing mightily about situations that upset me.  Of course, these are usually the things that I can do so little about, and in the grand scheme of things, don’t really matter that much.  The tragedy that has befallen my daughter and her husband’s family is of such a magnitude that it drives home the sheer stupidity of worrying about what are ultimately the little things.  I am not saying to upset yourself by worrying about the big things.  What will happen will happen.  It is just that it puts things into perspective. 

                I have always tried to live my life by the adage that no matter how badly I think things are in my life, I only had to look around and find someone in a worse situation; someone whose challenges and sorrows were much more than mine.  I once spent a week in a children’s hospital with my eldest daughter.  Believe me, that was a lesson in humility, and thankfulness.  Surrounded by children with cancer, brain tumours, congenital abnormalities and such was an eye opening experience, even for someone who worked in a hospital.  We left with a diagnosis of a benign, rather minor diagnosis in comparison.  Considering that when we were referred to the hospital, a number of severe problems were suspected by the specialist, we were relieved, thankful, and with a new regard for the knowledge that our life was blessed.

                Living our lives feeling sorry for ourselves, or believing that we have such big problems when in effect, they really aren’t, is not only tiresome for those around us, but a huge barrier to finding our own peace and happiness.  We all know someone like this; someone who has convinced themselves that they have the toughest job, the most responsibilities, the most problems, the unhappiest of situations.  Maybe it is their negative attitude that really causes these problems.  In many cases, their lives really aren’t that bad.  Some people just like to feel sorry for themselves.  Sometimes it is an attempt to make others pay attention to them, and be sympathetic.

                What we need to truly give up for Lent is this tendency to sometimes feel sorry for ourselves unnecessarily.  Maybe instead of looking inwards so much, we should take a good look around.  No doubt if we are honest, and unbiased, we will realize that there really are people with bigger problems in their lives.  And maybe we can do something to help them.

                My family has been rocked by one of the worst tragedies I can imagine.  My heart goes out to Christy Porter, a young woman who has lost her husband and children.  My daughter and her husband have lost a dear brother-in-law and a precious niece and nephew.  Although my heart breaks for them, I know that I am blessed to still have my children in my life.  But I also know that life can change in an instant.  I just received the news that neighbours of mine back home, Fraser and Noelline Smith,  lost their 23 year old son Evan in a snowmobile accident this past Saturday.   My prayers are with them.

                Enjoy your life, enjoy your loved ones.  Be thankful for this life that God has given us, with all its good times and bad times.  Set aside the negative thoughts, the petty disputes with loved ones and friends.  Embrace life with passion, with joy, and with thankfulness.  Share your time, your love, your kindness and your spirit with those around you.  For none of us know when we will no longer walk in this world, but instead walk with God.

                For everyone of my friends who have offered their condolences for my family, their prayers, their shoulders to cry on, and their loving arms around me, I thank you.  You have helped me get through this tough time, especially being so far from those I need to hold in my arms.  I know that you will continue to support me; that is what friends are for.

                God bless you all.