Ascension : Hash Trash
Submitted by The Islander (Gavin Yon) 25.12.2003 (Article Archived on 08.01.2004)

Hash No. 981

Hash No. 981

December 13, 2003

Hares:  The Two Ronnies

Hounds:  Yeti, Uncle Fester, Mr. Bubbles, Bloodsucker, Mr. Pastry, Skipper, 100 Watt, Joker, Goat, Mad Cow, Budweiser Belly, Street Hasher, Old Croc, Sand Trap, Paul, Andy, Keith

Apres Hashers:  Baywatch Babe, Bart Simpson, Batman, The Welsh Witch

It seems that the holiday festivities had a bit of a lingering effect on the hashers this week.  The crowd that gathered at Two Boats School was a little thin this week.  Apparently some hounds were a little under the weather!

However, the weather was perfect at Two Boats and after the hash huddle, with its warnings of prickly pear, loose rocks, thorn bushes, steep drops, etc, the on-on led straight to a couple of waiting vans.  The speculation was rampant, especially after we turned up the road to Green Mountain.  We were dropped off half way up, and after an attempt to mislead the hounds right over the cliff, off we went, uphill!  Not for long, though, as the hash made a quick turn onto Convalescent’s Path. 

We met up with the loose rocks right away, and it seems the hares forgot to warn about the wires underfoot.  Everyone made it pretty far without incident.  The views were magnificent at the circle checks, although only Mr. Pasty had a camera to record it.  It was on-on along edges, through rocks and over trees.  One particularly nasty tree tripped up Budweiser Belly.  Although the crash could be heard by all, it sounded worse than it was. 

Eventually we made it to the Residency.  Apparently the sound of a bunch of hounds tearing through the property woke someone up from his nap!  Then it was off on Scout’s path, through some strange looking woods beneath Monkey Rock. The runners were sent off on their own trail at one point, straight up the side of the cliff, while the rest ambled away down the hill.  Of course, the FRB’s had been misled yet again, and ran themselves straight into a back arrow.  They soon caught up, and even passed the slower hounds.  After the next circle check, the hash got a little thin.  It seems the hares were a little unsure of where they were going.  Everyone managed to find their way through the trees and into the gully.   All except Budweiser Belly and Talking Head, who headed back to the scene of the crime.  Seems the tree had an ulterior motive when it tripped Budweiser Belly, involving theft of his watch!

On-on we went, eventually finding the old road to Scout’s.  A nice amble down the road followed.  Mad Cow and Bloodsucker decided a brief shortcut was in order, and decided to do some off-roading.  It ended up involving  a not so graceful slip down a short embankment.  After that, we all continued down until the Major sent us off-road, looking for a home arrow, with warnings not to run too quickly, since the hill ended in a steep embankment!  The home arrow pointed to the generator hut where we assured that refreshments awaited after our marathon. 

The hares were all grateful to find the van waiting as well.  Of course, by the time the slower ones made it there, the van was gone, although we were quite hopeful that it would return.  We were eventually rescued, and it was back to the school were food awaited.  Happily, it can be reported that the watch was recovered, and the offending tree suitably chastised.

The circle of friendship was drawn, and a couple of sorry souls were welcomed aboard.  Tim was renamed Sand Trap, for his abilities driving off-road.  Margaret was christened the Welsh Witch.  Welcome to the Ascension Hashers, you two.