Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1233
Submitted by The Islander (Soo Matthews) 30.10.2008 (Article Archived on 13.11.2008)

Leaving Two Boats to get to the hash the weather was lovely and warm with sunshine and light clouds (sorry this is not a weather report honest!).

Hares Stinky Nuts and Will (well it should have been but Will was busy breakdancing!)

Hounds  Over and Done With, Wobbly Bits, Whopper Chopper, Wood ‘n’ Pecker, Who’s Your Daddy?, Ross, Amanda, Claudia, Mildew, Will, Puff Grannie, Chief Bald Eagle, Fleur des Isles, Lanky, Tiny Terror, Mowgli, Oumpa Lumpa, Wonky Willie, Headbasher, Ten to Two, Little Big Man, Fugitive, Beaver Diva, Chocolate Button, Bullet, Tripper, Head Mistress (sorry if anyone is missing from the list)

Apres No-one – must be a first!

Leaving Two Boats to get to the hash the weather was lovely and warm with sunshine and light clouds (sorry this is not a weather report honest!).  Arriving at Cocoanut Bay car park the hardy hashers were to be found keen and eager to set off and … yes all sitting in their cars because it was tipping down.  Tipping down being the northern expression for raining cats and dogs, very wet and soggy!

We were just getting ready to set off when Mildew’s blue truck came into view and went flying on by and on-on up the hill!  We did try shouting to her to come back but swiftly realised that we wouldn’t be heard.  Ever the gentleman, Copper Balls hopped in his car and headed off up the hill to fetch her back and the hash got off to a slightly later than normal start. 

Stinky Nuts had promised a lengthy hash but with a function at the mess to go to at 7:30pm surely he was joking?  There were two circle checks (not much on a lengthy hash we thought) and an opt out route for the littler (or more feeble) amongst us.  The on-on was up the hill along the road and then off to the left.  Up and down and over and under we went climbing ever higher.  The rain held off with slight drizzle and a gentle breeze (not a weather report honest).

At the first circle check all agreed to carry on, some more literally than others in the end.  The on-on was up-up again and we ended up under the cliff edge in the clay.  A bit slippery under foot there were a few rock slides as well as human slides.  As a result of great team work and support from and for each other luckily there were no serious injuries.  The mist came in a bit more and Chief Bald Eagle got a little worried (only a little bit though) about Headmistress and Wood ‘n’ Pecker heading off to the right when everyone else had headed left.  They were following some phantom voices which were a trick of the mist and wind (no this is not a weather report as I was assured by BFB weather it was a sunny 27 degrees on Ascension on Saturday!).  Somewhere along the route Claudia gave Amanda a carry along and along and along and then down and down.

The ‘path’ eventually led along to about two-thirds of the way up Mountain Red Hill.  Here there was a choice.  Either the on-on was up-up to the letter box or down-down the valley to the road.  A few opted for up-up to the letter box whilst the rest headed down the valley.  Stinky Nuts was looking a little worried as he explained he had run out of hash and with no trail to follow other than the advice to ‘head for the road’ he thought his head was for the chopping block!  Chief Bald Eagle was worried about Tiny Terror getting left behind and kept a firm grip on his hand.  Tiny Terror was insistent that there was no need to pull him along as there were ‘thousands of helicopters’ on Ascension ready for search and rescue in case of accident which made us all giggle. 

After some hopping around and across the valley sides to avoid the guava and prickly pear the valley eventually led to the road where we found Who’s Your Daddy and Whopper Chopper waiting with their vehicles to take the weary back to the start. 

Those in training for the Dew Pond Run and those with strength left in their weary legs headed up the road.  Stinky Nuts made an uncharacteristic run for it up hill followed for a short while by Headmistress who realised he was in training for the DPR and had beaten her by a minute last year.  Coming quickly to her senses before she fell (as is her custom when running) Headmistress slowed to a fast walk whilst Stinky Nuts carried on ‘running up that hill’.

The cars passed the intrepid walkers and a sheepish Chief Bald Eagle sat up and waved from the back of Who’s Your Daddy?’s truck!!!  What a surprise from CBE who usually sees hashes through to the end no matter how tough they are!

With all safely accounted for back at the car park it was decided it was a little too chilly to welcome Ross, Amanda and Claudia to the circle of friendship so they escaped and will be welcomed next week. Gives us all a chance to think of some good names.

Special mentions from this week’s hash go to Amanda and Tiny Terror for their outstanding perseverance in such a tough hash for little legs and Claudia for her double hash load carrying Amanda up and down the tough bits.

As for Stinky Nuts – sorry but we all enjoyed the hash so much that we agreed you could set more and without the rest of the Nutty family to keep you busy you have lots of time too!!!

Many thanks to Stinky Nuts for a great hash with the right degree of challenge and fun.

Lots of get well wishes are also hot-footing their way to 100 Watt as we wait with baited breath to find out will he won’t he toe the line and get back here safely.

Next week Child friendly fancy dress Halloween Hash from Command Hill. 

Hares Lanky