Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1229
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 09.10.2008 (Article Archived on 23.10.2008)

A good crowd turned up at Major’s residence, including a bunch of kiddies since Little Chuffer’s birthday party was delayed on account of the supplies not arriving on the plane.

Hash No: 1229

Hares:  Head Mistress & Bloodsucker

Hounds:  Stinky Nuts, Gumby-Two Scoops, Skinny Butt, Lanky, Madam Mardy Pants, Nip’n’Suck, Little Chuffer (the birthday boy), Goldilocks, Tough Cookie, Wood’n’Pecker, Old Gollywaddler, Pyromanic, Old Russian Git, Morse Monkey, Over & Done With, Wobbly Bits, Whiskey Chaser, Flasher, UTV, Whopper Chopper, Copper Balls, 100 Watt, Fido, Two Cocks, Street Corner Lorna, Beaver Diva, Fluffy, Alex, Joseph, Mucky Princess

Apres Hashers:  Louis, Kerb Krawler, Felicity, Kate, Lauren, Amber, Papa, Major, & Thumper

                A good crowd turned up at Major’s residence, including a bunch of kiddies since Little Chuffer’s birthday party was delayed on account of the supplies not arriving on the plane.  Not to worry – the hashers love to celebrate any and all occasions!  The hazards included the usual thorn trees, cactus, and warnings not to dash off too quickly at the circle checks because the FRBs might be smart to hang around and listen to instructions!

                The on-on was called and it was off along the road to the stile over the fence.  At this point the first hash was found, and the hounds dashed off along the old mountain road.  What a difference from a few months ago….. it seems a few elves had been out and about, clearing a route!  That wasn’t much comfort to Mucky Princess, who still managed to run into a sneaky tree and get a thorn in her arm.  Luckily Old Gollywaddler was along in a moment to work her mother’s magic.  That and a shiny plaster and it was on-on.

                At the Two Boats, the first circle check appeared.  The FRBs were given instructions to “bear left” when they reached a junction.  Then it was off toward the track to Dampier’s Drip.  Apparently they didn’t quite grasp the first intersection where they joined the track as being the “bear left” location.  They also bounded by the next circle check.  By the time the WATs made it to the tanks, a few of the FRBs were seen exploring around Bates Tank, looking for hash.  Apparently they thought this was the “bear left” location.  They went to the left, and promptly lost all signs of hash.  They were gradually straggling back to the area of the last known (seen) hash, although they tried to blame the mix-up on the hares’ directions!

                The next circle check was by Dampier’s Tank, at the foot of the ravine.  At this point the group was given a choice: continue up the ravine, or have a leisurely exploration and wait at the bottom.  A few claiming bad backs, bum ankles, and funny feet decided to take the hares up on their offer, and waited in the comfort of flat ground and cement tanks to rest their weary bones on.

                The more intrepid hounds started up the steep ravine.  Of course, as usual, the FRBs got ahead of themselves (and the hash) and had to be called back, usually by Tough Cookie.  The route required a lot of pulling up by tree branches.  A sneaky bar check had a couple of them finding themselves tangled up quite nicely before they found the false trail signal.  Hard to believe, but a good amount of clearing had been done. 

                Shortly after the next circle check, the hounds found themselves in a box canyon and at their destination.  This is the proposed new site of a letterbox walk.  However, they were all informed that when the box is actually inaugurated, they would have to return for the stamp!  No cheating and sneaking off to the museum to stamp their books!

                Then it was down the way we came up, more or less, and rejoining the folks waiting below.  By now, they’d been joined by the little hashers and their guardians, having made it all the way to the tanks.  Well done!!  Again, the FRBs were given directions about “bearing left” at an intersection, which they followed, although again, they missed the next circle check at the National Park Hut! 

                A few hashers wandered (or ran) off in different directions at this point as well.  Some took the easy route across the soccer pitch and along the road.  Some actually found the hash and followed it through the thorn trees (ouch!!) and across the road into more thorn trees (ouch again!).  The front runners made it to the track & then turned right instead of left and lost it again.  Everyone eventually beat their way through the thorn trees by various routes, and made it back to Major’s house. 

                Major had made a delicious curry, which along with lots of other delicious goodies replaced the calories burned on the hash.  A delicious birthday cake was presented to little Chuffer, and a slightly off-key rendition of “Happy Birthday” was sung by all.  He is now a big 6 years old, and has been hashing for well over two years now!  It was announced that a former hasher Yeti is still surrounded by “lovely ladies” with the birth of his twin granddaughters!  Congratulations, Yeti. 

                At 7:15, it was discovered by Head Mistress that there had been no appearance of shippies yet.  The Cavaliers obviously need their leader 100 Watt around, or they let their responsibilities slip!  The party continued regardless.

                Well done to the ladies for an interesting hash.  We hope the thorn scratches have all healed by now!

Next Hash:  The Picnic tables on the Mtn Rd near Middleton’s Path.

Contrary to the malicious rumours floating about regarding the supposedly difficult hashes being set by Chief Bald Eagle & his tribe, this hash has been promised to be easy and downhill all the way!”

Hares:  Chief Bald Eagle & his tribe

Please bring a plate!