Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No:1228
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 02.10.2008 (Article Archived on 16.10.2008)

Despite the word getting out that it took Fugitive three days to set the hash (another mega-hash??), an eager group gathered in the VC garden for Stinky Fingers’ last hash

Hash No:  1228

Hare:  Fugitive

Hounds:  Stinky Fingers, Beaver Diva, Over & Done With, Head Mistress, Lanky, Nip’n’Suck, Woodpecker, Little Chuffer, Mucky Princess, Madam Mardy Pants, Bloodsucker, Whiskey Chaser, 100 Watt, Mildew, Switch Hitter, Street Corner Lorna, Tough Cookie, Old Gollwaddler, Jockstrapper, Martin, Steve, Hannah, Dozie, Whopper Chopper, Copper Balls, Game Cock

Apres Hashers:  Fish Artist, Goldilocks, Major, Cupcake, Two Cocks, Kerb Krawler, Louis, Mark

Despite the word getting out that it took Fugitive three days to set the hash (another mega-hash??), an eager group gathered in the VC garden for Stinky Fingers’ last hash on Ascension.  A few eagle-eyed hashers noticed the big white bus idling around the corner.  The others were blissfully unaware of the purported length of the hash!

The on-on led around the corner, right to the bus.  The kiddies hash started on the bus as well.  Off we drove, and drove.  A collective sigh of relief went up when we passed the turn to Travellers – at least Sisters was out of the question.  We’d been promised a “bit” of up, then all downhill, but suspicious minds that hounds have, a “little” bit of up could be anything.

Our trepidation grew as Mark, our bus driver, just kept driving!  Finally, he stopped near the Sugar Lumps, and all but a couple of the little ones and their hash master disembarked.  Mucky Princess changed her mind and returned to the bus, but Tough Cookie decided to tough it out.  Off we went, straight into the “little” bit of up on the right side of the road.

Promised twenty circle checks, it was a little disconcerting to not find the very first until almost the very top of the hill!  A little higher up, and then we started carefully (well some of us at least) picking our way down to the bottom of the hill.  It took a few of the FRBs only a little time to get to the bottom.  A few volcanic bombs were found on the way down and carried home as souvenirs.  The next circle check found us in a wash, and despite Old Gollywaddler’s claim that there were still hashers behind her, the on-on was called and off we went.

The wash afforded a nice easy walk for a while with the exception of ducking under a few thorn trees along the way.  Then there was a bit of a decision to be made, up the steep crater for the FRBs, and along the flatter track for the rest.  By the time the WATs made it to the firing range shack, the FRBs were flying down the other side of the hill to join them.

At this point a major decision had to be made….run or walk!  The runners headed off towards the airfield, while Bloodsucker was put in charge of leading the walkers home.  They headed off in the direction of the windmills, up the track (right…..so much for no more uphills!) and then across Donkey Plain to the water tank.  Again, decision time – the road or behind Red Hill.  The small party split again, Bloodsucker and Mildew heading behind the hill, while Tough Cookie insisted on leading the others on the road. 

Meanwhile, the kiddies hash had taken the wee ones and Nip’n’Suck on a pretty long hash around the wide open spaces behind the VC, across the road towards Red Hill and along the fenceline and back to the garden.  No easy route for little feet.  And they found the hash all on their own.  Well done.

The runners made quick work of their route and were already back devouring pizza and beer by the time the walkers returned.  The barbecue had already been fired up by the Major, and it wasn’t long before Stinky Fingers was turning out his famous barbecue!  What are we going to do without our barbecue king?? 

After the meal, the shoes were surreptitiously toasted to nothing on the barbecue – a fitting end to their career hashing and hiking on the feet of Stinky Fingers.  The party continued despite the wind, and the few remaining hashers were entertained by a rendition of “The Music Man” in honour of Stinky Finger’s last time with us here on Ascension.  We want to wish him all the best in Washington State.  We’re sure he’ll be able to find (or establish) a hash group there!  Just mind the snakes!  We’ll miss you!!

Thanks, Fugitive, for a great hash over interesting terrain!

Next Week:  The Major’s house, Two Boats

Hares:  Head Mistress & Bloodsucker