Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1225
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 11.09.2008 (Article Archived on 25.09.2008)
Although the day was miserable up to this point, a determined group of hounds arrived ready to have a go at the Hash, regardless of the weather.
Hash No. 1225
Hare: Bloodsucker
Hounds: Over & Done With, Beaver Diva, Head Mistress, Mildew, Uncle Fester, Fugitive, Skinny Butt, Lanky, Nip’n’Suck, Madam Mardy Pants, Fiddling Cloggie, Hobbitt, Butter Balls, Slow Mo, Whopper Chopper, Copper Balls, Huge Erection, Two Cocks, Fido, Wood’n’Pecker, Old Gollywaddler, Joseph, Mucky Princess, Little Chuffer, Rusty Nuts
Apres Hashers: Kerb Krawler & Louis
Although the day was miserable up to this point, a determined group of hounds arrived ready to have a go at the Hash, regardless of the weather. A few, having spent their day so far in the even soggier climates of Two Boats & Green Mountain, were a tad overdressed for the occasion!
The hash was promised to be a special “hidden” hash. What this turned out to be (to Head Mistress’ distress) was a hash with no hash, just circle checks for the most part! The FRBs were warned that they had better abandon their habit of late of not stopping at the circle checks or they would miss some valuable advice and hints.
Then it was on-on out of the patio, and on up Cardiac Hill. Of course, it was evident that Whopper Chopper hadn’t listened too closely because he headed off in the wrong direction. Supposedly his cover story was that he needed to retrieve something from the vehicle, but we have our doubts. He soon rejoined the group, and sprinted ahead to catch up with his better half.
The first circle check stopped the FRBs at the top of the hill, and it wasn’t too long until all the rest arrived. The first bit of advice was do not touch any wires – the hare wasn’t too sure what might happen but was just passing on advice from someone who knew! Off we went across the road, under the antenna, and on to the next circle check. Here it was a bit of a history lesson since this was the site of the WWII US Army Signal Corps camp. The slower folks were serenaded to the circle check by Whopper Chopper on the steel drum!
At this point, the kiddie hash diverted and headed off towards the water tank. There was lots of hash for the little folks to follow. It seems that they were rewarded with ice cream from the VC Snack Bar for all their hard work! For the rest, there was no hash at all. The instructions for the “Hidden Hash” were that the hounds had to follow the old aviation fuel pipeline all the way to One Boat. Which sounds easy, except that it disappeared quite regularly! The first bit was especially confusing because several lengths had been relocated in strange directions. This only led the FRBs astray briefly.
Despite the advice not to go “high” around the thorn trees, Two Cocks and a few others had to prove it could be done without incident and off they went. At the next circle check the hare admitted that there were a few blobs of hash laid because the 40 minute search while the route was being laid had convinced her that it might be Sunday before we finished if there wasn’t a bit of help at this spot.
The cries were not of “on-on” at this point, but rather “got pipe”! The trail continued with the hares carefully checking for suspicious looking piles of rocks and the odd sight of rusty metal. The pipe took a sneaky little right hook after a while which had the FRBs searching for a bit, but it was finally located, and off everyone went across a sandy bit and then finding their way up a rocky embankment. After that it was a fairly straight shot in the direction of Cross Hill. Another circle check, and towards the end, sliding down another embankment.
It was at this point that Head Mistress admitted her disappointment. It seems that she thought a “Hidden Hash” meant that there would be goodies hidden along the way. Alas, no, not this time! Hash reappeared at the bottom of this embankment because the pipe disappeared underground for a long time. The hash took the hounds through another WWII encampment although we can’t be sure which one, because it isn’t on the old map!
At the next circle check it was time for another history lesson except for a few of the FRBs who decided to get a start on the run back to the base. It must have been the beer calling them! The rest learned about the US camps and the old ETC Marconi station that had also been in the area. Hounds checked out the mast debris, and several tried to piece together nuts and bolts!
Then the bus arrived, although the head count came up a bit short. We almost drove off without a few of the guys, but they appeared over the hill just in time. On the way back we found Mildew wandering through the lava field (something about being cold and wanting to keep moving??) and she joined us on the bus, along with a few more hounds. A few others opted to continue walking but we were just glad to get back to the refreshments at the patio!
A delicious barbecue with hot dogs, hamburgs, wahoo, and pork was fired up, along with pizza, cakes, and all sorts of other great food. Then it was time to get down to the business of a few sorry souls getting their names. Angel was renamed Butter Balls (cute story!!), Trevor is now known as Hobbitt, Steve favours Huge Erection and Lane will forever be known as Slow Moe!! Poor Tamar was a little concerned about what came before her turn and it took a little coaxing to get her to step into the circle of friendship to receive the name Mucky Princess!! A renaming in absentia also occurred. Bossy Blades will now be known as Runs With Beer!
The festivities weren’t over yet as it was discovered that there was a birthday girl among us. A slightly (hugely?) off key rendition of Happy Birthday was sung to Over and Done With, who shortly thereafter departed, no doubt to party with some more respectable Islanders! Happy Birthday!!
It was a good hash, a bit of a change and a history lesson thrown in.
Next Week: Old Exile’s Beach Hut (Catherine Pt)
Hounds: Uncle Fester & Fugitive
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