Ascension : Hash No: Confused again
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 03.07.2008 (Article Archived on 17.07.2008)

Loads of hashers turned up behind the VC to celebrate Wild Oats’ final hash on Ascension.

Hares:  100 Watt & Whopper Chopper

Hounds:  Loads of them, but the book’s gone missing!! 

Apres Hashers:  Loads more!!

  I apologize but the deputy book was used & now no one knows where it is….does that give anyone an idea of how much fun was had by all??  We are all wondering just what is cost Gumby-Two Scoops to have the firefighter flag him down across from the VC to complain that the fire truck wouldn’t start!!  The lengths some people will go to in order to get out of a hash!!

Whopper Chopper wasn’t quite into the spirit, and gave away a bit too much information about our route.  The hash headed off behind the VC, towards the Queen’s Highway, although only briefly as we soon turned towards the sea.  Lots of rocky bits underfoot but not much in the way of ups and downs.  Nip’n’Suck was carting Madam Mardy Pants again, but at least the little one didn’t have to duck to avoid cactus this week, although her head bobbed half way through anyway!

The FRBs headed off ahead all the time, and at some point apparently went off on their own little run.  When we finally made it to the pipeline, it was a nice easy stroll back to the base.  The runners soon appeared on the horizon as well, and the partying began.  The kids (and there were a lot of them) enjoyed playing around on the grass and in the water.   The bigger hashers just enjoyed the refreshments.

Lots of great food appeared.  Cupcake had been cooking all day for the occasion, and Stinky Fingers worked his usual magic on the barbecue!  Everyone enjoyed the food – thanks, guys!  A fond farewell was said to Wild Oats.  Although he says he plans to find some hashers in his travels, they will never be quite the same as the Ascension Hash House Harriers.  Ain’t that the truth?!!!  Presentation time was delayed for a bit to allow all the bits to arrive, and the festivities continued.

Later it was time to show Wild Oats how much we’d enjoyed him joining us for the last year.  Stinky Fingers presented him with a turtle carving, and then Bloodsucker gave him a collage of pictures of him & his buddy Wilson at all the letterboxes on the island.  Next, Cupcake presented Wild Oats’ twin brother  with T-shirts with his hash name on it – “That Guy”.  He has an everyday shirt, and a black & white one for formal events.  How classy are the Ascension hashers?  We think of everything.

After the presentations and speeches, the only other formality was the burning of the boots.  Permission was given for an unauthorized bonfire and soon a giant blaze illuminated the night sky.  There are rumours that something odd on Ascension was reported to NASA by the space station!  It was a rather spectacular end to a great Ascension Hashing career.

The hashers all signed the back of the collage, so Wild Oats will never forget his hash friends on Ascension.  We wish Rob, aka Wild Oats, the very best in the future.  May you have lots more hashing adventures in lots more amazing places!  He may not quite remember all of his last hash, but he definitely had a good time!  So did we!  Good luck, Rob!  We’ll miss you.

Next Week:  VC again.  It’s 4^th of July festivites, so it will be a quick hash.