Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1214
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 26.06.2008 (Article Archived on 10.07.2008)

The day was a soggy one, but it didn’t stop a large crowd of dedicated hashers from showing up at the Guild house for a “child-friendly” hash or so we were promised!

Hash No:  1214 (thanks to Mildew the money lady we finally know what hash we’re on!!

Hares:  Street Corner Lorna, Fish Artist, Tough Cookie, Drives Me Nuts
Hounds:  Bloodsucker, I’m Easy, Fugitive, Great Balls of Fire, Lanky, Miss Mardy Pants, Nip’n’Suck, Wild Oats, Major, 100 Watt, Mildew, Kelli, Kennedy, Tyler, Madison, Irish Whiskey, Little Chuffer, Beaver Diva, Over and Done With, Wobbly Bits, Little Big Man, Bungalow Bill, Goldilocks, Rajan, Billy Graham, Whopper Chopper, Two Cocks, Gumby-Two Scoops, Stinky Fingers, Headmistress, Uncle Transvestite, Blastoise
Après Hashers:  Pee Nuts, Plain Nuts, No Nuts, Stinky Nuts, Kerb Krawler, Papa & Amber

The day was a soggy one, but it didn’t stop a large crowd of dedicated hashers from showing up at the Guild house for a “child-friendly” hash or so we were promised!  The usual hazards – Mexican Thorn and cactus – then the on-on found everyone crawling over the stile and heading along the pipeline.  There were lots of comments regarding how much the area had been overgrown in the last few months.  One of the hares, Drives Me Nuts, arrived a little late but caught up quickly.  She was followed by Whopper Chopper, who zoomed off to catch up with the FRB’s!

Lots of dodging of Mexican Thorn, with Madam Mardy Pants perfecting her duck and cover technique.  She was getting a free ride, but it unfortunately put her at risk of more branches!  She did well, except for one incident better not recalled!

The first circle check found a bunch of guys hiding under one of the Two Boats since the rain had returned.  Some gentlemen….no room left for the ladies!  100 Watt was kind enough to provide a makeshift umbrella for Mildew, although it didn’t help much!

Next we headed behind the hut and along the track in the direction of the old tanks.  Before we arrived there, we discovered that the hares had a surprise for us.  Well, really, is any twist on a hash really a surprise??  Down the embankment we went.  Regardless of her burden, Nip’n’Suck opted to stay with the crowd, and with a little help from Billy Graham and Bloodsucker made it down to the ravine safely.  Well, pretty much so…there was the branch in a certain part of her anatomy incident but Lanky promised to kiss it better when they got home!

At the bottom of the ravine, we had a nice easy bit out to the North East Bay Road to the next circle check at the generator hut.  At this point, the runners were off in the direction of the firing range, while the WATs headed up the hill to Two Boats.  Apparently Fugitive was a bit naughty and took a detour, thus avoiding a nasty bit of hill that the rest of the FRB’s found themselves climbing!  As a result he beat everyone back to the starting point. 

The WATs arrived ahead of the runners, who were a considerable pace behind.  They arrived looking pretty knackered, and it didn’t take long for the coolers to start emptying.  Delicious curry and lots of other goodies were also devoured quickly by the hungry hashers, which held everyone off until the burgers and dogs were barbecued!

It was a great hash, including the story of Street Corner Lorna setting the runners route in the rain, and returning home covered in more hash than she’d laid!  That paper is sticky when it’s wet!  Thanks for a great hash, and a great run for the FRB’s!

Next Week:  VC Beer Garden

Hares:  Whooper Chopper & 100 Watt (watch out!!)

This will be Wild Oats last hash on Ascension.  Let’s send him off in style!