Ascension : Hash Trash
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 12.06.2008 (Article Archived on 26.06.2008)

This week we all gathered at Bullock’s Pond parking area, wondering as usual what delights were in store for us.

Hash: ???

Hares:  Buford T. Major

Hounds:  Irish Whiskey, Two Cocks, 100 Watt, Bungalow Bill, Wild Oats, Fugitive, Lanky, Bullet, Mowgli, Ten To Two, Chocolate Button, Quack’n’Easy, Mildew, Bloodsucker, Beaver Diva, Wobbly Bits, Over & Done With, Tough Cookie, Hannah, Little Big Man, Goldilocks, Street Corner Lorna, Potato Head, Stinky Fingers, Cinderella, Little Terror, Chief Long Pole, Puff Grannie, Oompah Loompah, Fleur des Isles, Headmistress, Pee Nuts, Larry, Chief Bald Eagle

Apres:  Nip’n’Suck, Little Chuffer & Madam Mardy Pants

This week we all gathered at Bullock’s Pond parking area, wondering as usual what delights were in store for us.  It was nice to hear that Major was back to setting a hash, although it seems he had forgotten about it until he read the Islander!! 

There were two separate routes this week.  The FRBs were soon off following Buford T.  The report is that they went up a hill, managed to run into a nasty back arrow, then ran up  some more hills, including the Motor Cross hill, and then had a long run back!!  All in all, a nice long & grueling hash.  We even had reports of some very long faces at the back arrow!!  Especially since the hare didn’t make it all the way to the arrow, pleading some nonsense excuse about an old war injury slowing him down!!

The WATs headed off up the Bullock’s Pond pathway, expecting a nice leisurely walk to the letterbox.  The little ones were out in front for the entire hash, calling out on-on and leading the way for the slower grownups.  They soon found a turn signal, and instead of continuing up the path, we veered off and up the hill.  At the next circle check, we admired the view, and wondered where we were going next!

From there, we headed across the plateau, into and up the gulley and back up to the top of another hill.  Three altogether; all we’d been promised by Major, but then again, he is the hasher in permanent possession of the Pinocchio nose, we think!  Although he claims that is was passed on to another!!

Next up was a slide down a steep, slippery slope into a ravine.  Again, no fear was shown by our intrepid junior hashers.  The only ones worried it seems were a few mums!  No hash; it was basically a find your own way down to the bottom!  In the ravine we followed a route that led us back to the letterbox path.  At this point, a few veered off to find the letterbox and get their books stamped while the others headed for home!

Apparently, the little ones never ran out of steam and were the first ones back from the WATs.  Well done, kids!!  Eventually those who detoured to Bullock’s Pond made it back, although Quack’n’Easy and Stinky Fingers were especially long in returning!!??!!  Everyone dug into the refreshments, and a search ensued for fire wood.  All sorts of debris was dragged back, and the fire started.

The circle of friendship was drawn as it was time to welcome a few sorry souls into the world of hashdom.  Stinky Fingers dished the dirt on his wife and son, with the result that Karen is now known as Quack’n’Easy, and Chris will never be able to be free of his childhood nickname Potato Head.  Welcome to the Ascension Hash House Harriers!!  We know that Stinky Fingers will miss you when you head back to the real world!

The evening continued with a fire, and the induction of Potato Head to the Cavaliers, courtesy of 100 Watt’s shipwrecks!!  Great hash, Buford T & Major!!

Next Week:  Devil’s Riding School (child-friendly!!)

Hares:  Lanky & Chief Long Pole