Ascension : Hash No: 1205
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 24.04.2008 (Article Archived on 08.05.2008)

First of all, we’d like to say welcome back to Goat who was just passing through. It was nice to catch up and hear stories of Oh That Woman & Frogmella.

Hares:  Wild Oats, Stinky Fingers, Steve & Gary

Hounds:  Buford T., Irish Whiskey, 100 Watt, Mildew, Two Cocks, Gumby-Two Scoops, Hole in One, Mowgli, Bullet, Tripper, Chief Bald Eagle, Fleur des Isles, Chocolate Button, Whiskey Chaser, Bloodsucker, Headmistress, Uncle Fester, Little Big Man, Ten to Two, Bouncing Betty, Tom, Joanne, Goat, Dog End, Oompah Loompah, Over & Done With, Wobbly Bits, Stinky Nuts, Dickies Hickies

Apres Hashers:  Pee Nuts, Plain Nuts, No Nuts, Fish Artist, Street Corner Lorna, Goldilocks & Tough Cookie

First of all, we’d like to say welcome back to Goat who was just passing through.  It was nice to catch up and hear stories of Oh That Woman & Frogmella.  You have to bring them back to hash again as well.  Also to Bouncing Betty who hasn’t been here to hash for quite a while!

Quite a different terrain this week compared to last  as all the hounds collected at the generator hut.   There were thoughts that considering that one of the hares had never hashed before, and another was only doing his second hash, how hard could it be??  Right!!  We were warned from the start that at the first circle check, there would be a decision to be made as to what direction to take.  When asked if the choice would be straight on or straight up, we were greeted with a strange little smirk by Wild Oats!  The hazards included loose rocks, loose rocks and more loose rocks.

With that it was on-on across the road and along the track, the FRBs dashing off in front.  Before long we reached the first circle check where the choice was obvious.  Up the side of perfect Crater, or on along a flat bit.  The FRBs went charging off up the crater, while the rest of the WATs followed Stinky Nuts.  Well, most of them, a few decided to take advantage of a bit of an even flatter territory, and avoid even the little gullies.

For the WATs, it was a pretty nice stroll around the lava fields, up and down a bit, but the worst of the walk was the rolly-polly rocks underfoot!  We could see the FRBs looking like little ants going around the rim of the crater, and then sliding down the far side.  Eventually, after a few more circle checks, they started to catch up and pass us.  Again, most of them, at least.

Soon, we reached the final circle check.  Stinky Fingers had been doing a pretty good job up to this point of slowing his pace to keep his flock in sight, but I guess the thought of cool refreshments quickened his step, and the rest of us were soon on our own.  As we contemplated the last route out, lo and behold, there was Stinky Fingers and Gary waving to us from a fair distance off.  At that point it was straight on by any route, out to the road, and back to the hut!

It soon became evident that we were missing a few FRBs.  The story was that Buford T had turned back to find Uncle Fester, but he was unsuccessful, and finally appeared alone.  A search party was organized, and vehicles were dispatched, only to be stopped short by a shout from Wobbly Bits…… her eagle eyes had spotted poor Uncle Fester in the distance, making his way home!  We still aren’t sure how he got separated from the hounds, but all’s well that ends well….. and with a bottle of Corona!!

Refreshments and munchies followed, and then it was time for a bit of hash business.  A few young sorry souls were called into the circle of friendship to be named.  Proving that not even the way you stand will go unnoticed, Alex will forever be known as Ten to Two, while Dominic, no slouch despite his size, is now Little Big Man.  They weren’t too young for the full initiation, and were soon welcomed into the world of hashdom in true Ascension Hash Harrier style!   Welcome aboard, guys!

Next up it was time to bid a sad farewell to Dickies Hickies who is deserting us for the desert sands of Qatar.  Sorry to see you go, girl, have a good time!  Her boots were soon set alight, although Chief Bald Eagle was asked if he wanted to trade first!! 

Good hash Wild Oats, Stinky Fingers, Steve and Gary! 

Next Week:  Barracks 13 Patio, US Base

Hares:  Bloodsucker & Gumby-Two Scoops