Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1204
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 17.04.2008 (Article Archived on 01.05.2008)

Well, where to start? A hardy crowd collected at Garden Cottage, despite the rain that had chucked down several times during the day, promising a slippery, muddy hash.

Hash No. 1204

Hares:  Chief Bald Eagle & his tribe

Hares:  Buford T., Stinky Nuts, Drives Me Nuts, Irish Whiskey, 100 Watt, Mildew, Desert Rose, Dipstick, Yeti, Wild Oats, Dickies Hickies, Mowgli, Bullet, Mad Melvin, Bungalow Bill, Bloodsucker, Fleur des Isles, Wonkey Willie, Oompah Loompah, Steve, Stinky Fingers, Uncle Fester, Chocolate Button, Fugitive, Headbanger, Tiny Terror, Woodpecker, Alex, Tripper 
 

            Well, where to start?  A hardy crowd collected at Garden Cottage, despite the rain that had chucked down several times during the day, promising a slippery, muddy hash.  We were warned about a bit of Ascension ascension at the beginning and the end, but little did we know what the afternoon held in store for us!!  Off we went, up the stairs, over the gate by Rock Cottage.  Thanks to the fellows who helped the shorter folks over the gate!  Just one of many instances of assistance that would be needed before the hash was over!!

            Behind Rock Cottage, out to the road, and up the hill to the old barracks for the first circle check with a few wild raspberries for nourishment along the way.  Then it was on to Elliot’s Path, at least until the tunnel.  Here, a decision needed to be made - over the side or through the tunnel.  A few folks opted for the tunnel, and an easy hash around Elliott’s.  The rest made the fateful decision, and headed for the ravine.  First, we negotiated our way down the slippery ravine, poor Tripper having a tough time deciding how to do it! 

            Next came a slide down the slippery slope, with more than a few slips along the way.  Oompah Loompah gets the award for the fastest slide, utilizing the body luge technique!  At the bottom of the hill, by the old windmill, we had another circle check and a history lesson about the water catchment and transport systems.

            The path headed down Breakneck Valley, but Bloodsucker, Headmistress and Woodpecker had the sneaky suspicion that the hounds were heading into a back arrow, and so hung back for a bit.  Of course, when no one came back, then they had a bit of a scramble to catch up!!  They didn’t manage it until the next circle check near the Pines!!

            After a brief rest, the path went off towards Palmers.  Here is where the real back arrow lay, although Bullet apparently failed in his duty to make sure the back arrow was noted, resulting in the temporary loss of Uncle Fester, Fugitive and 100 Watt!!  Eventually Fugitive and 100 Watt returned, but Uncle Fester took a little longer, and his own route back up the hill!

            Next, it was the start of the ascension on Ascension!!  It started out okay, just a long slog up the mountain.  It soon deteriorated into a wee bit of a path along the edge of the cliff, and then got even worse!!  It was a series of footholds, if you could find them, and clutching wet clumps of grass to pull yourself along and up.  This is where it got really dicey for a few hounds, especially for those with a fear of heights.  Although we could tell it was a long way down to the bottom, the mist luckily obscured from view of the rocks you’d hit at the bottom if you fell!!

            Bloodsucker held up the crowd for a while with her slow ascent, clawing her way to the top with a lot of swearing under her breath (well, not always!!).  Stinky Fingers, knowing her problems with steep up bits, came back to escort her, and probably has the bruises to show for it, considering how tightly she held on.  At the last twenty feet, Wonky Willie assisted by throwing her a rope, although considering he was himself balancing on the edge of the cliff, we’re not sure what good it did, other than as an emotional lifeline.  Uncle Fester pulled her over the top of the ridge, where she promptly collapsed into a puddle of tears of relief!!

            Eventually, all proceeded along Elliot’s Path – an easy route for the rest of the way, and back to Garden Cottage.   A lot of thanks go out to the tougher, braver souls who cajoled, pushed and pulled a few of us up the side of the mountain.  I have to say, that in the 5 ½ years that this hash scribe has been hashing on Ascension, this was the most challenging and harrowing one yet!!  But I admit to a fear of heights, and especially a fear of falling off heights!!  So a special thanks to Stinky Fingers, Woodpecker, Wonky Willie, and Uncle Fester!!

            Back at the cottage, everyone dug in to the refreshments, some going straight for the alcoholic variety to calm their nerves!!  It was soon time for a bit of hash business, and despite Chief Bald Eagle’s attempts to negotiate a trade of footwear, Desert Rose burned her boots.  She is leaving us for the dusty sands of Afghanistan.  Best of luck, and keep your head down!!  We’ll miss you.

            Well done to Chief Bald Eagle and his tribe for setting an interesting, and challenging hash, although we aren’t sure we’ll let you do it again any time in the near future!!
 

Next Week:  Generator Hut, Northeast Bay Road

Hares:  Wild Oats, Stinky Fingers & Steve