Ascension : Hash Trash
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 06.03.2008 (Article Archived on 20.03.2008)

A large crowd made the trek into the wilderness for this week’s hash. A couple of sorry souls had quite the adventure riding (bouncing?) in the back of an old rover.

Hash No: ???I have no idea!!!

Hares:  Two Cocks & The Major

Hounds:  Chief Bald Eagle, I’m Easy, Denise, Cassie, Lanky, Nip’n’Suck, Madam Mardy Pants, Little Chuffer, Bungalow Bill, Fleur des Isles, Bullet, Mowgli, Wonky Willie, Umpah Lumpa, Chocolate Button, Fugitive, Irish Whiskey, Desert Rose, Yeti, Joe, Darren, Dickies Hickies, Plain Nuts, No Nuts, Canoodler, Glitter Babe, Pumpy Pants, Street Corner Lorna, Tough Cookie, Mildew, Gumby-Two Scoops, Bloodsucker, Malibu’s Most Wanted, Wild Oats, Stinky Fingers, Josh, Headbanger, Fall Guy, Uncle Fester, Great Balls of Fire, Rich, Tripper, Tiny Terror, Dipstick

Apres Hashers:  Buford T., Fish Artist, Goldilocks, Kerb Krawler, Tara & Sport

A large crowd made the trek into the wilderness for this week’s hash.  A couple of sorry souls had quite the adventure riding (bouncing?) in the back of an old rover.  It was just a taste of what was to come!  The hashers crashed a camping party at the Scout’s camp so a good portion of the island’s population was on the back side of Green Mountain that afternoon!

A special appearance from the Major as a hare had everyone worried.  Buford T. was obviously so worried that he had to arrive in a rather impressive, if messy, bandaged up leg.  What some people will do to get out of a nasty hash!!

The usual hazards were announced, with an extra warning of a lot of downs, which obviously meant a lot of ups!!  With that the runners took off ahead of the WATS who ambled along the old road for quite a while.  Off course, we started downhill, already groaning about the future!

At the first circle check, the FRBs were nowhere in sight.  They eventually caught up (and passed us)!.  We continued to follow the old road gathering guava along the way.  Finally, the route turned in and up!!  What followed next was a long slog up, up and more up….just ask Plain Nuts!!  There was no way he could convince Pumpy Pants to give him a ride, although he did try mighty hard!!

The FRBs were winding their way back, but Fugitive decided that he wasn’t going to wait. The result of his impatience was that he lost the hash, and followed a completely different route back.  That’s what you get for being out front!!  A definite advantage to being at the back of the pack, I find – you rarely get lost – left behind, maybe, but not lost!!

We eventually made it to Scout’s Path and still more climbing until we reached Northeast Cottage.  Finally a bit of a respite until the last bit of climbing!  Of course this put us a bit above our starting point, so we were treated to a bit of downhill at the end!  Sweet!!! 

Back at the camp, the drinks were welcomed, and we were treated to some of Major’s superb curry.  Then it was time for a bit of hash business.  There were a couple of sorry souls that needed to be welcomed into the Ascension Hash House Harriers.  First up was Mark, who earned the name Dipstick in a unanimous vote!  Then it was Trevor’s turn.  He will forever be known as Tiny Terror.  He missed most of the soaking by diverting it on to Chief Bald Eagle!  Sneaky move!! Then a renaming was in order.  Wee Scottish Lassie had proved her mettle over and over by running at the front of the pack, and toughing out all obstacles.  She has now been renamed Tough Cookie.  Welcome to all the hashers old and new, young and old!  We have a great hash group here on Ascension!

Thanks to the Major and Two Cocks for a great hash, fantastic food and a good time!

Next Week:  VT Merlin Mess

Hares:  Fugitive & Uncle Fester

Hash Bash following at the Mess!!!