Ascension : Hash No: 1144
Submitted by The Islander (Nathan Prince) 15.02.2007 (Article Archived on 01.03.2007)

Where to start, where to start? What was originally promised as a child-friendly and easy hash, although towards the end of the week we’d heard rumours of a “regular” hash being set as well, turned out to be anything but an easy walk in the park for some!

Hares:  Chief Pimp & Pimp My Ride

Hounds:  Easy Rider, Wallace, Grommitt, 100 Watt, Mildew, Two Cocks, Kerb Krawler, Roy, Anne, Vinnie, Chief Longpole, Cycopath, Little Crisis, Whiskey Chaser, Yeti, Fugitive, ChooChoo, Still Bosses Boy Toy, Gumby-Two Scoops, Bloodsucker, Drop The Cock, Corporal Spam, Plain Nuts, No Nuts, The Major, Canoodler, Mr. Fluffy, Bakewell Tart, Hash Dash, Walkie Talkie, Fay, Carl, Irish Whiskey, Buford T, Eat My Shorts, Head Mistress, Nip’n’Suck, Danny, Ollie, Madam Mardy Pants, Little Chuffer, Lanky

(We’re sure we’ve missed a few – our apologies due to the confusion!!)

 A large crowd gathered at Garden Cottage, eager for a simple little jaunt around the mountain for a change.  But, alas, it was not to be for some!The littlest hashers and their escorts headed off up the road to visit the chickens, while the runners went off for a quick little run, and the rest headed off into the jungle until they reached Zig-Zag.  Halfway down Zig-Zag, a bunch of mad FRBs came crashing through the trees, having caught up and now passing us!  When we reached the Residency, we turned onto Scouts.  The lack of circle checks had the knitting circle falling a ways behind but we were having a great time chatting and admiring the views.  We were almost to a circle check when disaster struck!

Apparently, Nip’n’Suck should have been paying a wee bit more attention to the hash, since one step in the wrong direction caused her to get tripped up on a root.  Down she went, and it was soon apparent that she wasn’t walking out of there on her own any time soon.  Gumby-Two Scoops and Yeti were dispatched to find a stretcher, while our resident nurse Kerb Krawler and Bloodsucker babysat her rapidly swelling ankle.  Some of the FRBs volunteered to stay behind to be stretcher bearers.  The rest of the crew continued on. Of course, while we waited, and Nip’n’Suck recovered both her colour and some of her good humour, her rescuers got bored and wandered up the trail a bit.  We could soon hear crashing rocks and were worried about another casualty, but it was just the ‘boys’ amusing themselves by kicking boulders over the edge of the cliff! 

Eventually the guys returned with a leg splint, bandages, a stretcher, and Neil in tow.  After Kerb Krawler bandaged up her ankle, and immobilized her leg, the guys gently lifted Nip’n’Suck onto the stretcher and off they started on the long, arduous trek back to the road.  Poor Nip’n’Suck needed more than pain killers at the end of that trip, being the passenger was as scary as being the stretcher bearers!!  The guys did great, spelling each other off, and making sure they didn’t drop their precious cargo over the side of Green Mountain.  A tired bunch eventually made it to the edge of the road where Dr. Milenko waited with the ambulance.  Then, with Nip’n’Suck on her way down the mountain, they trudged wearily back up to the cottage, with thoughts of well-earned shippies foremost on their minds.

Imagine the surprise, when the ambulance arrived at the hospital to find another casualty already there!!  It seems that Head Mistress had tried to play Tarzan on the rope up Banana Ravine, and had crashed into a rock rather heavily with her shoulder.  This caused her to pitch over and do further damage to her head on another rock!  Chief Pimp, with help, managed to get her up the ravine, and then back to the cottage, although it seems her mind was elsewhere by then!  A quick trip to the hospital escorted by a concerned Irish Whiskey and Mildew, where they called in Dr. Alex since Dr. Milenko was already out on a rescue!

What an evening!  The hospital staff has decided to rename the hashers.  As far as they are concerned, we are now to be known as the “Crashers”!  Head Mistress spent a night recuperating as a guest of the hospital and returned home the next day.  Luckily Nip’n’Suck didn’t break her ankle but a bad sprain will keep her on the sidelines for a while.  It’s a bit hard to hash on crutches! She swears that next time she’s going to go see the chickens instead!!

Thanks to all the rescuers, and especially to Neil, Gumby-Two Scoops, Yeti, Drop The Cock, 100 Watt, Still Bosses Boy Toy, Fugitive and Buford T for lending their muscles and taking such good care of Nip’n’Suck on that difficult, slippery trip along Scout’s path.  Also to Kerb Krawler and Bloodsucker for their first aid.  Also to Chief Pimp, Mildew, Irish Whiskey and all the others who helped Head Mistress in her time of distress.  To the Georgetown hospital staff, Dr. Milenko, Dr. Alex, Neil, Helen and Karen, thanks for taking such great care of our injured hashers!  We appreciate your care and concern.

Back at the cottage, the exhausted stetcher bearers rehydrated with well-deserved shippies, and joined the others in celebrating a memorable hash.  Chief Pimp is a bit concerned that he will never be allowed to set another hash, and it will certainly go down as one for the record books!!  By all accounts the little ones enjoyed their hash, and for those bigger hashers who made it back unscathed, it was a good hash.  Head Mistress and Nip’n’Suck, all the best for a quick recovery. 

Next Week: NASA

Hares:  The Major & Two Cocks