Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash 1143
Submitted by The Islander (Shari Parkhill) 08.02.2007 (Article Archived on 22.02.2007)

Early on, it appeared that the heat might have scared some people off, but a fairly large crowd eventually showed up for what was billed as a “child-friendly” hash.

Hash No: 1143

Hares:  Buford T & Fugitive

Hounds:  Roger Me Knot, Master Bates, Head Mistress, Two Cocks, Kerb Krawler, Glitter Babe, Easy Rider, Cycopath, Madam Mardy Pants, Little chuffer, Nip’n’Suck, 100 Watt, Mildew, Yeti, Major, Bloodsucker, Irish Whiskey, Rat Catcher, Bob the Builder, Little Crisis, Puff Grannie, Drop The Cock, Pumpy Pants, Chief Longpole, Wallace

Apres Hashers:  Pimp My Ride, Ollie, Danny, Canoodler, Papa, Amber, Chelsea, Builder’s Bum, Huff’n’Puff, Grommitt, No Nuts, Plain Nuts

          Early on, it appeared that the heat might have scared some people off, but a fairly large crowd eventually showed up for what was billed as a “child-friendly” hash.  Nip’n’Suck has a bone to pick with Buford T over that little misrepresentation.  If I were you, Buford T, I wouldn’t walk directly in front of her on a steep embankment any time soon!

          We all gathered just after the turn to English Bay.  The on-on had us crossing the road and heading in the direction of the back side of Sister’s.  What followed for the next little while (and that’s a relative term – it seemed like a lifetime!!) was a continual upward climb, in the blinding sun, with no sign of the infamous, so-called continual Ascension breeze!!  A rather large group of the knotting circle was caught dawdling along, definitely not enjoying it at all!!

          With Madam Mardy Pants along for the ride, Nip’n’Suck was really feeling the heat when Master Bates gallantly stepped in, and took a load (literally) off her back!  There was the small consolation of seeing Buford T. with Little Chuffer on his shoulders for a good portion of the climb as well!  We finally made it to the next circle check, and the top of the climb!!  Luckily, a slight breeze stirred the air at that point and offered a wee bit of relief! 

          The FRB’s disappeared off in their own direction at this circle check, despite Buford T.’s call that they were missing the show!  Poor Madam Mardy Pants’ little legs were in danger of getting fried in the hot sun, so Bloodsucker offered her shirt (she was suitably clothed underneath!).  However, with the concern that she might burn, Master Bates gave up him shorts to use as a cover. What a gentleman! He, too, was suitably clothed beneath them!!

          With the adjustments made, it was off to catch up with the FRBs who were already collecting at the next circle check.  From here, it was a short hop to the chute.  As usual, the hounds created quite a spectacle sliding down the steep scree slope.  It seems that everyone had their own technique.  Master Bates, with his precious cargo, did a great imitation of a skier, Mildew (can anyone believe she’s never come down this scree slope before??!!) was gently helped by a couple of the other ladies, Little Chuffer kept Cycopath from tumbling, Glitter Babe made a rather graceful descent, but best of all was Nip’n’Suck’s imitation of a penguin – first sliding on both feet, then sliding most of the way down on her backside!  Congratulations to everyone – well done – no shirkers in the lot!!

          After that, and the requisite emptying of the boots at the bottom of the slope, it was off across the lava fields to the vehicles.  A few of the FRBs snuck off to check out the availability of the English bay beach hut, but when the rest arrived it was to find out that had just been a ruse.  They were cooling off in the ocean!  With the hut in use, it was decided to head off to the Asi dive club where the refreshments were uncorked, and the barbecue started. 

          Builder’s Bum and Huff’n’Puff arrived with fresh fish, and everyone had their fill of all the goodies.  Since the Major is swamped at work, it was announced that the official handover of the Hash Master duties would be delayed for several weeks. 

          The hard-earned playing after all the hard work of the hash continued on!  Thanks to Fugitive & Buford T for a great, if not really child-friendly, hash!!

Next Week:  Garden Cottage. 

Hares:  The Pimps

This one will be child-friendly – really!!  Rumours are that it is a birthday hash for one of our smaller hashers.  Please bring something to barbecue.