Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1082
Submitted by The Islander (Gavin Yon) 01.12.2005 (Article Archived on 15.12.2005)

The start of this week’s hash was Command Hill. Considering the hares, everyone was expecting a rather tough hash, but we were in for a really rough time, we just didn’t know it yet.

Hash No:  1082

Hares:  Short’n’Sweet & Fugitive

Hounds:  GoGoGadget, Shelley, Soo, Princess Diary, Hanky Spanky, Yeti, Cycopath, Easy Rider, I’m Easy, Hash Puppies, Wild Bill Cock, Bakewell Tart, Pete, Chief Pimp, Chris, ChooChoo, Bloodsucker, Goat, Hash Dash, Girly Girl, LSP, PsychoNuts, Slippery Sue, Predator, Rhesus Andy, Hash Bananas, Lady Pooh, Lucy Lastic, Greased Lightning, Woodswrecker, Anna, Lousie, Kieran, Ian, Mildew, 100 Watt, Uncle Fester, Rip Van Twinkle Toes, Walkie Talkie, Arty Farty, Mr. Potato Head, Little Mermaid, Buttercup, Alan

Apres Hashers:  Danny, Kim, Oliver, Septic Peg, Twigmeister, Monkey Spanker, Brian, Major, Bosses Boy Toy

                The start of this week’s hash was Command Hill.  Considering the hares, everyone was expecting a rather tough hash, but we were in for a really rough time, we just didn’t know it yet.  And there were a bunch of new hashers along for the fun!  The warnings included a few ups, a few ledges, but not much else, so heartened slightly, off the hounds went.

                The on-on was actually down-down as we headed down the Command Hill Rd and off across the main road and into the wilderness!  A few trails, turns and circle checks later, we found ourselves climbing a nice steep hill.  Imagine our surprise, and dismay to find a back arrow greeting us at the top.  It was a furious slip and slide back to the bottom, and off along more trails.

                Despite I’m Easy’s best guess at whether a certain bit of the trail constituted a “ledge” we were to find out it didn’t later in the game!  Hash Dash was busy as usual picking up artifacts, and LSP grumbled just a bit at having his backpack filled with the treasures!  If Hash Dash isn’t careful, he might just get renamed Trash Man!

                After a bit of a detour, nicely discovered by 100 Watt, we were able to avoid the next back arrow half way up Mountain Red Hill.  The grateful hashers, those who didn’t head up the hill, eventually arrived at the main road, on the other side of the hill.  There was still no relief as we kept heading away from the direction of Command Hill.  It was across the road, follow the fence line, with the FRB’s getting another good run.

                At the bottom of the fence line, a strategically placed water break was just what the weary hashers needed.  After a welcome rest, it was down the rocks and then across the real ledge.  Down to the beach, along the road, and up the pipeline, where Alan managed to cross the rough stuff, and have a spill on the easy bit!  Past the treatment plant, across to the motor pool, and past the car wash, where a few overheated hashers thought about having a cool down! 

                At least we were now heading in the right direction, with Command Hill in the distance.  Up more hills, past the tanks, along another fence line and along the road and we finally reached the foot of Command Hill.  Here, the hares had a real nasty surprise in store.  No easy trip back, nope, it was straight up the side of the hill!  The first bit was relatively easy, but then the going got slippery and nasty.  Woodswrecker reminded 100 Watt that it was his duty to trash the vegetation when 100 Watt stumbled over a fallen tree! 

                Eventually everyone made it to the top, not without some grumbles and sighs.  It wasn’t long before the food appeared, and everyone gratefully dug in.  Great curry, rice, pizza, wings, and even more!  Then a birthday cake made an appearance, in recognition of Bloodsucker’s big 5-0!!  Everyone helped devour the delicious cake, with more packed off home for the missing hashers!

                The cavaliers made an appearance and the festivities continued until it was decided to head to the Saints Club where we heard there was some dirty dancing going on!!

                Great hash, Fugitive & Short’n’Sweet, but it might be a while before we let you set another one!!

                Morticia sends greetings to all the hashers and says she misses us all.

Next Week:  Road to the Pines, off  NASA Rd.

Hares: Major, Bloodsucker & Greased Lightning

Apres Hash:  Behind Modular 18, USAF (Last road into base from Georgetown direction, turn left immediately, follow the noise! Parking at Barracks 13 – 2 storey barracks)