Ascension : Flipper Trophy Knockout Competition – The Final
Submitted by The Islander (Gavin Yon) 17.11.2005 (Article Archived on 01.12.2005)

Leroy “Heartbreaker” Hudson nets a hat trick as the Retards snatch the trophy from the Harts

The Flipper Knockout Tournament 2005 Winners - Retards Utd
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My ears received quite a pounding on Saturday, they were only just recovering from a quarter of an hour in Squid’s company at the Anchor Inn, when they were assaulted by what sounded like a fire siren, after another blast, the Retards’ party truck appeared and with siren blaring it drove towards the Saint’s Beach Hut before delivering the team to the stands, at which point the party truck began playing the Black Eyed Peas “Lets get retarded”.  The atmosphere was further increased by the Harts who had their own horn which competed with the siren throughout the match.

Helena Bennett and Ray Ellick were introduced to the two teams and their Managers – Dutch adding even more colour to the many banners and flags by sporting an orange jacket.  Everyone then observed a minute’s silence in memory of Andrew Bennett, prior to the start of the match.

The first half was a fairly quiet affair with both sides largely cancelling each other out – not that that did anything to halt the partying and sirens going on along the touch lines.  In the 4^th minute Gary “Pickie” met the ball with a spectacular overhead kick which went straight to the Retards’ Keeper, Paul Thomas.  For the Retards, Denny Leo lifted a long ball which Barry Phillips caught up with and returned to Denny who had his shot blocked.  Denny’s next long pass for Steve Caswell was intercepted by Melvyn Moyce and at the other end Malcolm Greentree challenged but lost out to Paul.  For the Retards Carlyn Yon had a shock blocked before Alonso blasted high.  Leroy Hudson then aimed a long pass to Carlyn and the ball got to him after Melvyn had missed his attempt to head the ball clear only for Carlyn to shoot wide.

For the Harts Robert Bedwell took a long shot which was collected by Paul before in the 28^th minute a Retards’ free kick was cleared but only to Adriaan Crowley who’s shot was blocked.

Nigel “Cool” Yon then had a high speculative shot that did not trouble Paul.

“JJ” Buckley went down after clashing with a team mate and the game was restarted with a drop ball which was returned to the Retards’ Keeper after Noddy had briefly invaded the pitch.

Anthony George then gave away a free kick for his tackle on “Cool”

Harts had two corners both of which were cleared, after Paul was unable to keep a back pass in play.  Then “JJ” pressured Paul as he caught the ball and the Retards’ Keeper was then out of his box to clear from the Harts’ striker.

The half ended once Carlyn hit a shot over after Steve Caswell had squared the ball to him.

The Flipper Knockout Tournament 2005 Runners-Up - Harts

In the 1^st minute of the 2^nd half Melvyn deflected a shot from Carlyn to his Keeper.  Barry then had a shot wide, before Nicky Herne broke on the left for Harts.

Carlyn was yellow carded for a foul on Melvyn and Errol Thomas took the free kick, which was cleared.

Steve then had a shot at Damien O’Bey, the Harts Keeper, before Ryan Backhouse hit a shot wide and Ryan then passed to Jeremy Constantine whose shot was blocked.

“JJ” won a corner for the Harts which was punched over his own bar by Paul for a 2^nd corner which he also punched clear

The Retards had a free kick for hand-ball which was headed clear before Damien gathered a good take in his arms beneath a high lob.

Steve passed to “Kenny” who beat Paul to the ball but hit his shot across the gapping goal.  Leroy then had a shot and Ryan hit the ball over the bar.

The Harts took the lead after 68 minutes when “JJ” blasted the ball into the left corner beyond Paul who had no chance to stop the shot.  Two minutes later Gary “Pickie” could have doubled the Harts lead but his effort went wide.

The Retards responded with Denny passing to Leroy whose wayward pass went over the bar instead of reaching Steve who was lurking in the area.  Kenny skied the Retards next chance before Steve and Ryan combined on the wing before Leroy blasted a volley over.

The game was transformed in a 6 minute spell when man-of-the-match Leroy scored a hat-trick.  In the 75^th minute Leroy, after skilfully taking two defenders out of the game on the right, hit a long lob, which may have been a cross, and beat Damien to put the Retards level.

A minute later the ball was fired across the Harts goal, Damien was unable to clear it and Leroy scored his 2^nd with a volley at the far post.

“Cool” then hoisted a long pass into the Retards’ area which Paul took under pressure; before Leroy smashed a corner into the left of the Hart’s net for his third goal, wrapping up the game and the trophy for the Retards.

After the match Johnny Hobson made a brief speech thanking the Cable & Wireless staff for organising the event particularly Alan “Pickie” Stevens.  Johnny said that the efforts made by everyone and the high numbers of enthusiastic supporters who attended all of the games meant that the Flipper Tournament continues to be a fitting tribute to Andrew’s memory.

Helena presented the trophies to the teams and then the serious partying began.

Earlier ….

The Banana Boys return to the Georgetown pitch to play in a 20 minute a side game against Paul Bennett’s Dreamteam.   Man of the match Leroy Fowler scored a hat trick as the youngsters cruised to a three nil win.  In the 2^nd minute Leroy charged through the Dreaming defence and scored as Carl Peters the Dream’s Keeper advanced towards him, in the 18^th minute Leroy headed in a Aaron Peters corner, and three minutes from the end Leroy finished the scoring shooting, right to left across Carl, leaving the Keeper no chance.

The only disappointment was the lack of after-goal celebrations, prior to their first game some of the Banana Boys had been planning a dance routine to perform when they scored, but sadly this never materialised.  Having said that some of the Bananas were among the first up to sing at the Saints’ Club karaoke Saturday evening, belting through the Village Peoples’ Y.M.C.A.  – perhaps the guys are too young to realise this song is a gay anthem …. or perhaps not !!