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  Issue No. 2291 Online Edition Tuesday 24 November 2015 
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Ascension : Hash Thrash - Hash No: 1529
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 21.08.2014 (Article Archived on 04.09.2014)

It was a large number of hashers this week and it was wondered if the word had been spread that there was going to be some ’ Hash Business’ afterwards or possibly the delights of the famous GMO BBQ drew the crowd.

Hash Trash: 1529

Hares: GMO

Hounds: The Last Turtle Head of Doom, Snowballing Grecian, Grecian Granny Rations, Little Miss Grubby, Over-N-Done With, Missing McGonagall, Brows,   Cheesy Stripper, Carries a Woody, Amira, Mike, Clare, Andrea, Ursula, Rod, James, Jo, Andy and Hash Cake

Apres:  A cast of thousands

It was a  large number of hashers  this week and it was wondered if the word had been spread that there was going to be some ’ Hash Business’ afterwards or possibly  the delights of the famous GMO BBQ drew the crowd.

The brief was carried out and GMO better known for their music rather than their maths couldn’t decide if there were 3 or 4 circle checks. But there was going to be a bit of up a bit of down and loose rocks!

The Last Turtle Head of Doom gave a final hazard warning to the newbies amongst us. They were not to follow the Scotsman, who is well known for being in his own little world.

The On-On was sounded and the troupe headed off with Hash Cake blazing the trail. After about 5 minutes it was noted that the hare had forgotten where the hash was. Maybe a tad too much of the après hash punch had been tested?

The 1st circle check was reached after a mini mountain climb, where words of encouragement (abuse) could be heard from the hare at the top.  It was then that the hare told us all - there was worse to come! Missing McGonagall chose that moment to say that Spire Beach and Boatswain Bird were going to be conquered the next day and anyone could join him. Over and Done with very quickly said there was no way she would be doing it again after not being able to sit down for 3 days without squealing, various thoughts sprang to mind none of which are repeatable. 

The On-On was called and more rock climbing ensued. I was told that the views were spectacular but this hasher for one wasn’t looking at anything other than her feet! Over and Done With formed a splinter group at a particularly difficult point but this was only a temporary respite and the torturous terrain loomed ahead once more. One poor newbie foolishly said that if a one eyed dog could do it (she was too polite to say about the older members of the group) then she could do it and maybe a hash could cure her fear of falling! You can only sympathise at her naivety.

Then came another pretty precarious part and a call went out that a butt crawl was nothing to be ashamed of. Various techniques of descent were then seen in an effort to reach the foot of the hill in one piece.

The hashers then regrouped at the 3rd circle check and did a head count to ensure all had made it and none were left to the mercies of the infamous zombie rabbits. It has to be said that the Missing McGonagall was only interested in whether his hair was looking alright.

We then headed towards the sea and back up onto the road following the pipeline. The end was in sight and the thought of the BBQ and a beer, a rest and a beer, music and a beer and maybe just a beer, upped the pace a bit with some even being seen to break into a run.

Then began the infamous, ‘Hash Business’. The circle of friendship (Doom) was drawn and the first of the two victims entered with trepidation.  T HHOD gave a brief history of hash naming and readers will be pleased that no children or animals were hurt in the infamous ceremony. Branding irons have also now been banned. The victims were furnished with suitable names, Carry’s a Woody & Cheesy Stripper - probably never to be uttered again after departing this unique and interesting island.

Once again a fantastic evening was had by all and the rigger boys did us all proud.




Place:   US Base Barracks 13 Pavilion

Time: 16:30

Hare: Over-N-Done With

Bring a plate of eats.


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