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  Issue No. 2302 Online Edition Wednesday 10 February 2016 
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Ascension : HASH TRASH - Hash: No 1519
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 19.06.2014 (Article Archived on 03.07.2014)

It was with fear and trepidation and groggy heads that this week’s bunch of brave souls met at the cairn for Spire Beach near the NASA site.

Hash Trash: no 1519

Hares: No hounds this week

Hounds: Soggy Boozer, Boozy Head, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Tippex, Over-n- Done With, Bladerunner, Stefan, Missing McGonagall, Mrs Palm, Helen.

Après: The Last Turtle Head of Doom, Knee Jerk Turtle, Sub Spawn of Turtle Head, Little Miss Grubby, Adam, Toby, Blaine, Brows, Island Mount, Mike, Adam and Flash Cake.

It was with fear and trepidation and groggy heads that this week’s bunch of brave souls met at the cairn for Spire Beach near the NASA site. Amongst the hashers there were those that were novices of these two great walks and those that had done it so long ago they couldn’t really remember the terrors that lay ahead; and then there was Helen who had completed all 42 letterboxes recently, including these two monsters only two months ago and everyone thought that she was just showing off by making a return trip.  Flash Cake went for his customary dip in the muddy puddle and Stefan finished his breakfast burger while we waited for those that had spent too long doing their hair. Helen was shivering it was so cold but, as ever, Bladerunner was prepared and quickly donned his body warmer and woolly hat.

On-on was called and the hardy bunch set off waving goodbye to The Last Turtle Head of Doom and Flash Cake who claimed they had important cooking work to do (everyone knew they were off for another nap). There was a quick stop for a group photo at the Conservation gate (to aid identification of bodies later on) and then down to the sign for Spire Beach. After a brief pause and cries of “Really? Down there?” the group set off on the scramble down. Idle Trekkie, Dead Gross, Boozy Head and Bladerunner disappeared into a cloud of dust with the others choosing a more sedate pace down. After the initial scramble the trail became firmer and the group leapt and stumbled over rocks and through the guava. By the time the last hashers caught up with those at the front, legs were already trembling while Mrs Palm took time to fertilise the local flora.

Down some more and then it was time for a little bit of up. Helen took the chance for a spectacular fall on the only flat bit of the walk and then down some more. Eventually, with a bit more blood shed, Spire Beach letterbox was reached and it was time for some much needed nutrition. Soggy Boozer had a ‘mirage moment’ when she thought she saw a cruise ship coming to rescue them, but no, the only way out was up and it didn’t look easy. Bladerunner was prepared with his trusty hard hat - what every good hasher should have??

So up we went, scrambling, crawling, freestyling, anything but walking really as it was so steep and so loose. Bus Driver tried to finish off Over ’n’ Done With by sending rocks her way; however, his efforts were soon put into the shade by Bladerunner, who sent a massive rock down trying to finish off all the hashers in one foul swoop.  Boatswain Bird View letterbox was reached and replenished and Bus Driver got attacked by the previously unheard of Zombie Smurf. There was some debate over which way to go up to the top. The foolhardy ones took Missing McGonagall’s ‘short cut’ which involved some death defying scrambling up loose scree. Idle Trekkie and Boozy Head both slipped down faster than they went up but eventually we made it to the top. But wait – where were Mrs Palm, Tippex and Over ‘n’ Done With? They had taken a different route, only to end up coming the way of the other hashers.

Time was taken to regroup as stories of tears and fears were shared. After some more, relatively easy downs and ups (relative being the operative word), Hannay’s Beach was found. Helen took the chance to stand over the blow hole - no one was very clear why and the hashers climbed up to the Arianne Site.  With no bus to be seen (communication problems apparently) the hashers took various routes to the IDL Beach hut.

Once the obligatory ‘survivors photo’ had been taken and cars rescued beverages, food and stories were shared with those that had joined the après. Some swore that they would never do this walk again but it’s like giving birth -hurts at the time but a wonderful experience which means people go back and do it again!


Next Week:

Hares: The Last Turtle Head of Doom

Place: Cairn for White Horse at the NASA site.

Time: 4.30pm                     BRING A PLATE OF EATS, PRICE £3 OR $5


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