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  Issue No. 2314 Online Edition Friday 29 April 2016 
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Ascension : Hash Trash: 1514
Submitted by The Islander (Mario Anthony) 15.05.2014 (Article Archived on 05.06.2014)

It was a dark and gloomy night bright sunny afternoon and the hashers assembled in fear and trepidation at another hash by Missing McGonagall and Snowballing Grecian.

Hares: Missing McGonagall, Snowballing Grecian Hounds: : Boozy Head, Soggy Boozer, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers, Pestis Minumiz, Pestis Minutuz , Grecian Granny Rations, Blade Runner, The Last Turtle Head of Doom, Sub Spawn of Turtle Head, Knee-Jerk Turtle, Tipex, Boy Driller, Short Horn, Dan, Huge Erection, Karen, Samantha, Bum Ride, Bum Fluff, Amira, Bradley, Anders, Johan, Ollie, Ricky, Rob, Daz, Ash, Simone, Finella, Rachael Chris, Flash Cake and Sawyer It was a dark and gloomy night bright sunny afternoon and the hashers assembled in fear and trepidation at another hash by Missing McGonagall and Snowballing Grecian. There were plenty of new hashers and the welcome return of Bum Fluff and Bum Ride, along with Sawyer. Rumour had it that this hash would include a trip to the elusive Wolf’s Bluff letterbox which had pulled in some of the more occasional hashers keen to complete their letterbox book. The small band grew and grew as more and more cars pulled up, but where were the hares? With a squealing of tires Snowballing Grecian pulled up, emptied out his bus of eclectic hashers and disappeared into a cloud of dust, followed hotly by Missing McGonagall. Eventually they returned, just in time to give the hash brief to large crowd. It was a simple brief, 4 or 5 or maybe 6 circle checks with the danger of the ever present zombie rabbits. On-on was called and off we set, up the road towards the Interserve yard. By the time we got through the yard the hashers were told that this was where the hash started. What do you mean starts here? We were exhausted by the uphill already!! Through the back of the yard and up the hill the hashers were pleased to find many wonderful examples of Obsidian. Two of the younger hashers had already got lost having tried to take a short cut but eventually all gathered at the first circle check. The going was tough, continuing up the ridge for another 2 or possibly 3 circle checks. The hashers were getting feisty as no one remembered Wolf’s Bluff being this high up and there appeared to be no let up to the continuous climb. By the fourth letterbox a riot was promised if the on-on carried on up. The mighty vuvuzela was put to the test and relief was had as we then turned and started on the downhill. At this point it was clear that counting skills of our hares was limited as they decided that there were probably another 3 or maybe 4 circle checks. This perplexed Bus Driver who keeps a keen check on the number of circles of every hash. The hash descending is always a spectacular sight as there are a variety of ways of getting down. There is the traditional ‘walking down’, ‘rear ending’ is another popular way down demonstrated beautifully by, amongst others, The Last Turtle Head of Doom and not as expected by Bum Ride and then of course there is Bladerunner’s spectacular ‘yahoo and run’ style. Even the dogs were tiring so there was much jubilation when we finally reached Wolf’s Bluff letterbox. With the box duly signed and many books stamped, the hashers set off down the hill. The end was in sight. By the time the last hashers reached the minibus, the hash had spread out with some taking routes through the Mexican thorn back to the cars and other choosing to take the road. There were those that could have walked but felt they should show appreciation to Snowballing Grecian for providing transport so took the bus out of duty only to hear the familiar calls of ‘Candy#ss’ on their return. With all assembled at the cars hash food disappeared quicker than a blink of the eye and the beer kegs were soon emptied by the large crowd. Come on guys, everyone can bring something to nibble at. Scratches and bumps were compared and it was agreed that this was another great hash enjoyed by all. As the hashers slowly drifted back to their lairs and various evening functions it left The Last Turtle Head of Doom, Soggy Boozer, Boozy Head and Kat to ponder the meaning of life over the remaining beers. Next Week: Place: 16:30 Garden Cottage Hares: The GMO Reunion Concert!!!!


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