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  Issue No. 2285 Online Edition Friday 9 October 2015 
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Ascension : Hash Trash: Hash #1506
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 20.03.2014 (Article Archived on 10.04.2014)

Tony Benn once famously asked “In whose interests do you Hash it?” is it not, however, commonly known,

Hash Trash:#1506

Hares: Over-N-Done With

Hounds: Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers, Snowballing Grecian, Grecian Granny Rations, Over-N-Done With, Lady Boy George, Dirty Dough Balls, Soggy Boozer, Dipstick, Mrs. Palm, Blade Runner, Night Owl, The Last Turtle Head of Doom, Maddy, Maria, Ruan, Gillian and Stefan

Tony Benn once famously asked “In whose interests do you Hash it?” is it not, however, commonly known, that what he was referring to was Green Mountain, which was well and truly Hashed in an interesting manner on Saturday.

The Hashers gathered earlier than is normal, some having to be roused from a deep and turtle induced sleep, at Crystal Bay picnic site. The brief was short, with the usual warnings of loose rocks, steep climbs and lopsided paths. The On-On was sounded and heading over the road and onto Warpath, it was noticed just how pale and pasty one of the Hashers legs were. But as no Zombie Rabbits were sighted, brilliantly white legs obviously serve a purpose!

As ever the lopsided paths, loose stones and evil attack plants caused havoc amongst the Hashers with even the mighty Last Turtle Head of Doom taking several falls. The trail followed Warpath, Scouts Path, ZigZag, Breakneck Valley and Nature Trail, with ironically Breakneck Valley proving to be the least accident prone of the trek!

At the bottom of the ZigZag path, Bladerunner sounded his Vuvuzela, surely to alarm the Administrator of our presence and to cause deafness and choking among those standing too close. By the time half of the Zigzag path was covered, even the youngsters were flagging. Only the sighting of several lambs revived the Hashers and pushed them onwards to the top as thoughts of roast lamb and potatoes and vegetables and gravy and mince sauce... mmmmhhhhh...

With covering so many letterboxes (4 in total) it was inevitable that the highly contagious BlotchusStampitus would break out and Maddie, Maria, Soggy Boozerand Lady Boy Georgereturned home sporting blotches in a variety of colours and shades.

It was with relief that the carpark was sighted and the après, although not the dreamt of roast lamb, was delicious and much needed after such an epic and tiring hash.

“No hare in the whole of Hash history ever had such power as an Ascension Hare has in his or her hands” Tony Benn.



Place: Jubilee Picnic Area


Hare: The Last Turtle Head of Doom

“Through talk, we tamed kings, restrained tyrants, averted revolution”

Tony Benns

“Tomfool issues, barmy ideas, a kind of ageing, perennial youth which immatures with age"  Harold Wilson describing Tony Benns or the Ascension Island Hash


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