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  Issue No. 2314 Online Edition Thursday 28 April 2016 
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Ascension : Hash Trash: Hash No 1505
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 13.03.2014 (Article Archived on 27.03.2014)

A more modest group of hashers assembled at the Sooty Tern sign this week, probably lured by the temptation of another brilliant Soggy Boozer hash.

Hash Trash: no 1505

Hare: Soggy Boozer

Hounds: Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, PestisMaximuz, PestisMinimuz, PestisMinutuz, Snowballing Grecian, Grecian Granny Rations, Missing McGonagall, Mrs Palm, Blade runner, Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers, Ruan, Eliza, Maddy, Maria, Emily, Dan, Ian, Jacks Off All Trades, Over ‘N’ Done With, Goes Down Well and Flash Cake

A more modest group of hashers assembled at the Sooty Tern sign this week, probably lured by the temptation of another brilliant Soggy Boozer hash.  It was a quieter bunch as a couple of the noisy regulars were celebrating high up nuptials. After a little hanging around, Soggy Boozer announced that the hash had six circle checks and that the hazards were loose rocks, soft ground, boulder hopping, birds, crabs and of course, the infamous zombie rabbits. The route also goes past some important historical sites and Grecian Granny Rations was warned that she would need much bigger trash bags this week. Then the on-on was pointed North, away from Mars Bay.

The hash was difficult to find at first and Soggy Boozer was left scratching her head, sure that laying the hash the previous day was a reality and not some fearful Hitchcock nightmare. Eventually the hash was found and after some orienteering, the miniature hashers were thrilled to discover ancient fire engines in various stages of decay. Several were “bagsied”, usually by being the first to climb onto the roof, before the first circle check was found.

The second circle check was marked by the burrow of a giant zombie rabbit. These ferocious beasts were the consequence of a failed experiment in the 50’s, and now roam the Wideawakes fairs, burrowing holes in solid stone. Thankfully, this particular burrow was unoccupied, so the hashers took time to bury their loved ones (alive).

The route headed seawards and circle check number three saw two of the Pests playing a deadly game of kill the hasher with stones which, thankfully, neither of them won. The trail then took a right along the sea front and over boulders, past some amazing waves and a number of calm rock pools. Many of the bigger hashers were jealous of Flash Cake who enjoyed a nice salty bath in the said rock pools, before the on-on took a right turn away from the sea. At the next circle check a breathless Goes Down Well decided the on-on should become ‘no-no’ – no, she wasn’t walking backwards, she was just relaxing and catching some rays. This being a hash, the only way was pointed up the hill toward a large block of concrete in the middle of nowhere. While he waited for the others to catch up, Bladerunner performed the ancient Hash tribal dance on top of this block, to the tune of the mighty vuvuzela.

On the way to the final circle check some of the older hashers found some of The Last Turtle Head of Doom’s small balls which were all white and shiny. Much discussion was given to what he actually did all day and the conclusion was drawn that it was mostly whacking balls. The way to the last circle check saw the hashers scaling a large pile of rock to reveal stunning views of the Airfield. The exhausted clan then trickled their way back to the cars with large bags of rubbish and an odd assortment of large trash and were rewarded with the usual refreshments for their troubles of attempting to clean up our beautiful island. It was time to bid farewell to Jacks off All Trades, whose final hash this was. No boot burning was done as the tribe were feeling friendly and didn’t want to see him trekking back to Europe barefoot and he has threatened to return after all.

After a large amount of fizzy drinks, the kids went off to a dump to give themselves radiation poisoning, and the adults drove themselves. Thanks to Soggy Boozer, for another great hash!

Next Week:

Place: Crystal Bay Picnic Area – Nasa Road.


PLEASE NOTE DIFFERENT TIME: 3pm as this will be a longer hash. BRING LOTS OF WATER

Hare: Over ‘N’ Done With


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