Ascension : Hash Trash: Hash No. 1498
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 23.01.2014 (Article Archived on 06.02.2014)
It was a large crowd that gathered for this week’s hash. New turtle people, island residents returning to the sun and looking a bit pasty after a holiday in the motherland, the antenna boys after an extended absence and visitors from strange and distant lands.
Hash Trash: 1498
Hares: Over-N-Done With
Hounds: Bladerunner, Boozy Head, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Leftovers, Hairy Hal, Doctor Doolittle, Goldilocks, Dirty Dough Balls, Dipstick, Mrs Palm, Flash Cake, The Last Turtle Head of Doom, Snowballing Grecian, Haley, Diane, Karen, Eliza, Emily, Daniel, Maddie, Maria, Dan, Matt, Marcella and David
It was a large crowd that gathered for this week’s hash. New turtle people, island residents returning to the sun and looking a bit pasty after a holiday in the motherland, the antenna boys after an extended absence and visitors from strange and distant lands. All blissfully unaware they would witness the triumphant and long anticipated return of Dirty Dough Balls. After a message from one of our sponsors (yes even the hash is not above being commercialized). Ladies, Over-N-Done With’s new spring line of evening wear, hand-stitched from the skin of dead blackfish can be found in all the best local boutiques!
The brief was surprising short, just 5 Circle checks and only a little up and down and usual evil attack plants, loose rocks and the occasional zombie rabbit. Footwear choices were discussed at depth and the On–On was sounded. Heading across the road the hash first followed Nature Trail which allowed the runners and younger hashers to go charging off, with older and wiser hashers slowly following. The first two circle checks passed with a disappointing lack of damage. At the 2nd circle check the new hashers got to experience the sound of the mighty vuzuvula echoing over the hills, leaving some of the turtle people looking strangely glassy eyed. The runners headed off down the trail and promptly missed the hash heading down the slope. Finally getting called back the hashers navigated down through the scrub, with some of the first timers displaying using some new variations on the classic Ascension Slide and achieving Over-N-Done’s With goal of 4 drops!! Marcella was especially confused by the sounds, was that local fauna or a Scottish pick up line?
Getting everyone heading back on the trail was strangely reminiscent of the author’s youthful career as a cat herder but finally everyone was heading the right direction, crossing the road the trail swung east. The front runners again started heading off the wrong direction , but it was decided just to let them go this time. Worse case they would find themselves at Crystal Bay and the hash elders came the conclusion they would then realize they might have followed the wrong path. At the last circle check the front runners were sent on after once again been allowed the privilege of hearing the sounds of the mighty vuzuvula, leaving the rest to leisurely stroll back to to the parking care. The Après did not last long, a number of the hashers had other commitment again that evening.
Place: American Windmill Farm
Hare: Missing McGonagall
Bring a plate of eats.
“Some people find Ascension hideous, and describe it accurately enough as a
heap of clinker, slag and cinders on which the rakings from some gigantic
boiler have recently been dumped. But for me, and for many of the people who have lived there, the island has a wonderful harsh beauty. Its landscape is
fierce and exciting, almost surrealist in its starkness; and wherever you look
you are reminded that the place was created by fire”
The World Famous Ascension
Red Dress Hash and Charity Ball 1 Feb 2014
Hash # 1500