Ascension : Hash Trash - Hash No: 1466
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 13.06.2013 (Article Archived on 27.06.2013)

Having loyally and liberally toasted her majesty throughout Saturday, hashing began on Sunday morning at the Arianne Site, where the hashers parked their cars, only to be met by Boozy Head in a minibus.

Hash Trash

Hash trash no: 1466

Hounds:Idle Trekkie, Bus Driver, Dead Gross,
Boozy Head, Herr-lein Disasterchef, Missing McGonagall, Snowballing Grecian,
Jackie’s Pussy, Andrew, Roy AKA Bob

Candy-Ass Half a Hash: Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers

Après: The Last Turtle Head of Doom, Soggy
Boozer, Herr Slacker, Herr-less Twitcher, Hazel

Having
loyally and liberally toasted her majesty throughout Saturday, hashing began on
Sunday morning at the Arianne Site, where the hashers parked their cars, only
to be met by Boozy Head in a minibus. The bus stopped in Two Boats to pick up a
couple of little stragglers, then parked at the cairn near the NASA site. It
was to be a no-hash walk to Spire Beach, then a climb up to Boatswain-Bird
View, followed by a trek back to the Arianne Site. The unruly party drew a deep
breath, and then departed.

On the way
to the starting point for Spire Beach, it was revealed that Roy (or was it
Bob?) had never hashed before. Talk about jumping in at the deep end! At the
Spire Beach sign, the group peered down at the menacing expanse of rock below
them, and decided that Idle Trekkie, the youngest hasher, should lead. He
obediently ambled down the valley, leaving the others trailing behind.

At several
points along the way, the group stopped to have a rest and, in the case of Missing
McGonagall and Idle Trekkie, build a cairn or two. Eventually, they discovered
the dreaded rusty chain which pointed the way down to Spire beach. Nervously,
the group edged along the treacherous path one by one. Once the danger was
over, the hash started hopping down the rocky canyon, “accidentally” kicking
loose rocks at those beneath them. Unfortunately, the hash narrowly missed
getting a lift home from a passing boat.

Eventually,
the weary party all made it to the Spire Beach letterbox, for an exchange of
food and some spectacular views of Boatswain-Bird Island. After a brief pause
to write their wills, the party began to ascend the perilous cliff that led to
the day’s other letterbox. The going was hard, with rocks tumbling down hither
and thither, leaving some hashers diving for cover. Fortunately, the two halves
of the expedition (“good climbers” and “bad climbers”) kept in touch with the
aid of Jackie’s Pussy and Missing McGonagall’s walkie-talkies.Radio traffic
also covered the luminescence of McGonagall’s water – attributed to the energy
pills supplied by Jackie’s Pussy’s brother in the Sellafield area.

Finally, the
exhausted group reached the Boatswain-Bird View letterbox. Overlooking some
cuts and bruises, everybody seemed to be in one piece, which is more than could
be said for the British and American flags that waved nearby! Having signed the
book, the group braced itself for the toughest climb yet; from Boatswain-Bird
View to the top of the hill. Due to the disagreement over the easiest path, the
group split into two; the kids plus Missing McGonagall, and the rest.

The two
groups caught their breath at the top, only to have it taken away by the
stunning views of the volcanic landscape. Then began the easy part- the return
journey. Whilst sliding down the slopes, the kids spotted a figure in red on
the horizon. Who could it be? The Last Turtle Head of Doom? The devil himself?
What a relief when it turned out to be Hairy Leftovers, followed by his brother
Hairy Hal, who were keeping clear of danger.

At this point,
the group fanned out even further, meaning that different people made it back
to the Arianne Site at different times. But sure enough, everybody soon
returned to the starting point and received a lift to the IDL Beach hut from
Soggy Boozer and TLTHoD, mending her head and washing his hair respectively
which took most of the morning.

The weary
hashers then enjoyed an afternoon of delicious food donated by Jackie, Colin
and Craig. The little hashers played card games using ring pulls and candles as
chips, before paddling in the cool ocean. TLTHoD tried to lure the fish into
eating the kids with bits of bait, but eventually gave up and shouted them back
out of the water.

Meanwhile the older hashers chilled with their
beers and messed about with the walkie-talkies and a megaphone which someone
had brought along. They were joined by the rest of the après, including Herr
Slacker, who had slept in after yesterday’s hectic night. Missing McGonagall
and Hazel got more comfortable at the far end of the beach, but were brought
into line over the megaphone, to protect the innocence of the children.At
around sundown, the hashers went their separate ways home after a brilliant but
exhausting hash.

Next week:Springer Beach Hut, US Base               Time: 4.30pm           

Hare: The Last Turtle Head of Doom

Bring a plate of eats.