Ascension : Hash Thrash - Hash No: 1463
Submitted by The Islander (Islander Editors) 23.05.2013 (Article Archived on 06.06.2013)

This week’s exciting instalment starts at the Lady Hill cairn. Jeni, recently arrived on the island,

Hares: Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader

Hounds: Boozy Head, Bus Driver, Dead Gross, Idle Trekkie, Hairy Hal, Hairy Leftovers, Missing McGonagall, Over-n-Done With, Jackie’s Pussy, Herr Taff, Herr-less Twitcher, Herr-Lien Disaster Chef, Snowballing Grecian, Callum and The Last Turtle Head of Doom

Après: Jeni, Bladerunner, Sue and Izzy

   This week’s exciting instalment starts at the Lady Hill cairn. Jeni, recently arrived on the island, took one look at the group and decided to sit the hash out commenting that the group looked like people who though the movie “Deliverance” was a love story. Herr Taff was back on island for a short visit. The Boozy clan, despite being abandoned by their matriarch, looked remarkably clean and well-fed, rumour has it the house has never been tidier. Gathering at the cairn the hashers searched in vain for the hash, His Splendiferousnes, off gallivanting doing important things, failed to show or even set the hash. In a statement issued Sunday morning “Our Magnificent Leader is far too busy to read the Hash Trash and was unaware he was supposed to delegate someone to carry him up the hill and set the hash additionally his sedan chair was in for repairs”.

   Boozy Head, in an inspired and bold stroke of leadership, reminiscent of Churchill, took charge and gave the hash brief. No hash, no circle checks and probably the usual Ascension hazards. The On-On sounded the drove headed up the hill to the letterbox. The path up the hill is well defined and clear and the gang made the summit in record time, easily getting there quicker than the previous day’s drive up there by Stedson.

   After a pause to admire the views and some quick repairs to the letterbox, the hashers set off down the old service road to the tip, picking up the One Boat cut-through to circle back around to the New Mountain Road. Naturally, since there were no runners on this hash most of the hash ended up being a road course. Sadly the younger hashers were the last one back to the cairn, allowing themselves to be embarrassed by old fat smokers.

The post hash took place off the side of the road, allowing passers-by to enjoy the post hash revelries. The first order of business was the drawing of the circle of doom friendship and the ancient and mystical ritual of hash naming began for Snowballing Grecian. This naming took a few minutes, while his interest in a Cornish football team and winter sports was dissected, with the younger hashers finally settling on his name. The conversations lasted later into evening with and as darkness fell, our venerated hash master graced us with his presence, sans vuvuzela. The younger hashers walked home as the hash elders cured all the worlds’ ills.

Next week:  16:30 Scouts Campground

Hares: Over-n-Done With

Bring a plate of eats

“Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire."
David Rains Wallace

TLTHoD